Addiction
by SilentCynara
Summary: They fell in love, but he was tricked into rejecting her cruelly. Now Syaoran faces the daunting task of winning back Sakura's love and saving her from her own dark self-a fall for which he himself was responsible. Dark fic, take rating seriously.
1. Release

**Addiction****  
**

**1: Release**

**Summary:** He broke her heart cruelly, denying his feelings for her. Then his enemy gave her the comfort and kindness he never did. Now he must undo the damage before she becomes Card Mistress…and his enemy's, forever.

**Standard disclaimer: **I don't own the CLAMP characters, only the plotline of this story.

Rated T for foul language. May go up to M depending on how this flows. Mild crossover with the use of Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles characters. No spoilers for the various twists and the manga ending of Tsubasa (so kindly don't spoil that ending for anyone else if you've read it).

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**Prologue**

Had it only been four months ago that he'd destroyed everything that meant anything to him? Syaoran Li looked up at the moon and sighed. The moon's rays refreshed him—no surprise, as he was, after all, a Li, and Lis resonated to the moon. Moonlight could also give him power, even heal his wounds.

But not his heart. No, not when he'd broken it himself with his pride and stupidity. He loved Sakura Kinomoto, the beautiful Card Mistress whose quarters were in the courtyard across his own.

Thanks to his own mistakes, he had lost her love. He'd led her on, made her believe he cared—which he did, but when he got the confession he wanted, he mocked her and pretended he didn't care about her. All to prove himself to his friends.

He'd give it all up to turn back time and take back those terrible words he'd spoken to her that night.

As if in response to his thoughts, Sakura walked to the garden on her way to the entrance hall, and shivered in the cold of the night, wrapping her cloak about her. His heart leapt; it always did at the sight of the emerald-eyed beauty.

He felt an ache when he remembered a night just four full moons ago when a sweet, gentle, innocent Sakura had bared her heart to him.

_"I…I love you, Syaoran!" she had declared, her eyes sparkling in happiness. "A…and…do you love me too?" Her face was beautiful and expectant—Syaoran cursed himself for letting his own feelings show enough for even her to notice. And that was what steeled his resolve to do what he did._

_She had asked him to meet her outside their quarters, and there, she had said the words he had bet his friends he would hear from her within a year. And they were hidden in the bushes, watching the spectacle, seeing his triumph. They would stop mocking him for being weak about her now! _

_Truth be told, he loved her as well, but his pride, his foolish, useless pride had overruled his heart. Because he had wanted to push her away, to punish her for being so close to him, for making him open his heart... he had mocked her, and cruelly torn her heart apart with his words. He had lied to and insulted her and told himself he'd done it to make her stronger._

_Hindsight—and regret—are truly powerful things._

"_How can I love an idiot like you? Did you think our new closeness meant anything? You thought it was real? Fool! It was a bet!" He had forced an ugly sneer on his face, and Sakura watched, her eyes widening. "I said I could make you love me within a year. And look, it's only been ten months since you arrived at this academy!"_

_The shattered look on her face spurred him, perversely, to more cruelty. "I bet I could woo you away from that idiot Xiaolang. That one really wants you. But now I can tell him you love me, not him, and he's lost to me this time. You love me? Be sure to tell him that the next time you meet him, tell him I've won this time, and you were the game."_

_Disbelieving, Sakura raised tear-filled eyes and looked into his. "Why are you saying these things? I know you! You…Someone made you say these things. You're only saying this because of the bet. I love you, Syaoran, and let me help you…"_

_He laughed._

_Gods below, he laughed at her. At first it was wild laughter because somehow she had seen through to his heart. _She knows!_ But then the laughter turned caustic as Syaoran slipped back into the role of heartless cad._

"_You think I'm trying to be noble? Ah, Sakura." He let his face soften, and then he moved as if to kiss her, knowing the others were concealed in the bushes, watching them. Sakura willingly closed her eyes, murmuring something he couldn't catch, and then when their lips were about to meet, Syaoran found himself wanting to throw it all away, to kiss her and tell her it was just a horrible joke, a lie, that he loved her too. But a rustling in the bushes brought him back to his senses, and he tore himself away from her, reminding himself not to be weak and stupid. _Love weakens,_ he reminded himself. _I am strong. I am the Li heir. I cannot afford to be weak!

"_You're mine," he rasped, then he remembered words Yamazaki had jokingly written out for him once as being part of the dialogue of some sappy play he had seen. _

_Syaoran decided to use them now so he wouldn't have to say what was truly in his heart. "You're such a dog that even after I've said all these things, you would still kiss me. Xiaolang is going to love that. Be sure to tell him everything I said." _

_He watched as the blood drained from her face, and she slowly sank to the ground. To cover up his feelings, which were urging him to take everything back and tell her the truth, he focused on the sounds of the others in the bushes. They would laugh if he lost his nerve now. _

"_Perhaps I should have taken what you were offering so blatantly," and he forced himself to run his eyes over her petite body in the style of the villain in the play he'd seen with Yamazaki. "But that would be too easy. Besides, I don't lower myself to sleep with the likes of you." And he strode away, leaving Sakura crumpled on the ground, sobbing so hard he was tempted to turn back. Instead he flung the fatal words over his shoulder, sealing their fates._

"_Now learn from this, Card Mistress, and become stronger for it. Someday you'll thank me, when you're of more use to me."_

_He hadn't seen her the next day, and the congratulations he received were subdued. Even Meilin, who always fawned upon him and who had suggested the bet to begin with, shied away when she'd come to pay up for losing the bet, dropping the gold coins in a small sack into his palm and walking away._

_Had he been wiser, he would have seen what she had seen that night._

Now Syaoran was desperately trying to make it up to Sakura—a task made infinitely difficult because now, Sakura was engaged to Xiaolang Reed, his greatest enemy. Nonetheless he swallowed his pride and came up quietly behind Sakura.

"I remember what I said to you here," he said softly. "And I know I don't deserve your forgiveness or…"

"Go to hell, you lower life form," Sakura snapped. It was always like that these days; she was rude and peremptory with him, always hostile and angry. She'd learned from him, all right; these days, she treated everyone at their academy with contempt and sneering tolerance. Where she had learned that, Syaoran did not know. "I've heard your pathetic explanation. I don't need another telling of it, Li." She stressed his family name with scorn.

Not that he could really blame her; what he'd done was cruel and unforgivable in many ways. He knew it was entirely his fault that she had changed into someone else as a result.

"I know you may never believe me but I'm so sorry...." Syaoran began the litany he always said to her. "Please…If I could make it right, I would, Sakura…I was a monster. I'm sorry…"

"Did you come here to watch me go to Xiaolang?" Sakura crossed her arms against the cold of the evening. "How amusing. Our positions are reversed. The Cards tell me you love me."

"They speak true," Syaoran said. "I love you, Sakura. Even when I said…when I did the unforgivable, I loved you."

Sakura laughed, a short sound devoid of true mirth. "Then let's use you and your love," she said, coldly reflecting his own words to her.

"I am yours to command." He knelt before her, hoping that somehow she would hear him, understand, and perhaps forgive…not that he deserved it.

"You are in love with pain," Sakura said coldly. "You enjoyed inflicting it on others, and now you enjoy being in its embrace. And so I'll do you a favor: you can still help me capture Cards. You will throw yourself into danger for me. You will suffer for me."

Swallowing the words he wanted to say, Syaoran steeled himself. "I will. For you."

With a predatory glint in her eyes, she added, "And you will receive no thanks from me, not unless I feel generous." She came closer, and he bent down to hear her next words. "Do you know that I want Xiaolang to sheathe himself in me now, over and over until I scream in ecstasy and he pours his seed into me? Do you know that we'll rut like animals until dawn, and I'll come back here and you're going to see his mark all over me and smell his scent on my body? Maybe someday, if you're a good boy, you can listen to us fuck, knowing you tossed away the chance to—oh, what were your words again?—Oh yes, 'lower' yourself to sleep with someone like me." She watched his eyes, and looked satisfied when he flinched at her use of vulgarity.

"You're still the Sakura I knew, deep inside," Syaoran said quietly. "And that Sakura I love, because that's who you really are. Not this angry, powerful, hate-filled person I helped destroy. To atone for my mistakes, I swear I'll help you go back to who you are."

She suddenly laughed. "Innocence, once lost, is gone forever," she said quietly. "Those were your words too. You helped kill that Sakura. But do not despair; you _**have**_ made me stronger, a worthy partner for the Reed heir. For that I owe you some measure of gratitude."

Syaoran stood up quietly then placed a hand on her arm. "Forgive me, Sakura."

"Too late," she hissed as she pulled her arm free. "Let go. I'm leaving."

"Will you go to…to him?"

Though he knew the answer, his voice broke over the word "him"—he could not bring himself to name Sakura's lover.

_No, not lover, _he told himself. He was the one she was sexually addicted to, the one who had Bonded her to him, making her crave his body. He had used an archaic, forbidden spell of dark magic to make Sakura desire him—and Syaoran had created the opening when he tore her apart the night before Xiaolang had completed his preparations for the ritual.

And it was all Syaoran's fault. _I drove her into his arms,_ Syaoran thought ruefully. _What a fool I was!_

Whether or not he would ever see Sakura's eyes alight with love for him again...Syaoran swallowed, and held her arm again. _Don't go,_ he begged silently. _Please don't go to him tonight._

But he watched, helpless, as she shrugged him off without a second thought and cast Fly to bring her down the road outside Shiroihana Academy, to where Xiaolang awaited her. As her form receded in the moonlight, his heart felt like it had broken yet again, because he knew he had hurt her so much, he had changed her into someone else completely.

_It's all my fault! _Syaoran knelt andsmashed his fist into the cold ground, uttering a cry of despair that all in the Academy heard. _I made her this! I did this, I hurt her, I…how could I have been such a fool! _He struck the ground until his hand began to bleed.

"Sakura!" he screamed, all his pain and regret in his voice.

But she did not come back, not until dawn. He knew, because he had stayed awake to await her return—as he always did.

* * *

**A little over a year ago, at Shiroihana Academy**

Sakura crept into the decrepit-looking building on top of the hill, searching for firewood, fruits, flowers, abandoned trinkets or furniture, anything that could help her eke out a living. Since the war had separated her several weeks ago from her brother Touya and father Fujitaka, who were in the South, she had been forced to live on her own, seeking shelter where she could and scavenging for food and things she could either turn into saleable items or barter for clothes and other necessities.

As a child she had been afraid of the dark. But the first time she'd tried going into an abandoned-looking house in the daytime, she had wound up being beaten up by the women who were also looting it. They had been merciless in 'teaching her a lesson,' and Sakura had certainly learned; it was only the kindness of a strange man who called himself Clow Reed that had saved her. He had healed her wounds, and left her with the advice, "Sometimes the dark can be your friend."

And so she had learned; she'd salvaged a dark cloak from the ruins of a house in a town she'd passed several months earlier to help her stay hidden when she worked, and stole into abandoned places when moonlight was abundant. Often she went hungry, but her cheerful optimism in the face of hardship served her well.

Though her life was hard, Sakura had quickly adjusted. At first she had tried applying as a maid, as a cook, anything to get her into the Great Houses where life was hard work but safer, but no one was hiring strangers, least of all a young girl like her who could be a spy.

And she definitely did not want to be in the whorehouses, which were always 'recruiting' girls—she knew from her brother Touya that the girls who went there were abused and raped and used up within months, often with little pay. They enjoyed none of the privileges true geishas did, which some brothels pretended to offer to lure unsuspecting girls in. She shuddered. No, that was not the life for her.

This place on top of a hill had drawn her. A school whispered to be for sorcerers stood nearby, but the small structure was separate from it, and judging from the dust and lack of footprints, no one had been there in a long time.

Her gut instinct, which had been honed over the past few months, beckoned her, and she obeyed. Sakura plunged into the hut-like place and found a wooden door that had crumbled, leading into a passageway that was lit with candles.

"Doesn't feel like there are ghosts here," she told herself bravely, although she was a bit scared. She followed the passage, which ended at a small altar. Words in Western writing appeared on the altar, and upon it was a scarlet and gold book which looked like it would be worth quite a lot. It glowed faintly, and Sakura repressed a squeak of triumph: magical items were worth their weight in gold!

That she had made it this far without running into guards was a miracle in itself, and Sakura was too hungry to care. She picked up the book; it was surprisingly heavy for its size. A golden clasp sealed the book, but as Sakura touched it, it sprang open.

She carefully pulled the heavy cover open. Inside were several large papers, like cards, also scarlet and gold. As she touched them, they suddenly streamed out of the book, caught up in a gale Sakura could not fathom where it had come from.

"Hoe!" She tried to catch the cards, but they danced out of her reach, Rich illustrations were on the obverse sides, and she knew she was losing a fortune, bit by bit. In desperation she managed to grab one card, and she clung on to it as the wind buffeted her around.

Oh, what had she done?

**To be continued in Chapter 2**

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****Notes:** Xiaolang is modeled after the Evil Clone in Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles. Instead of Eriol being the other half of Clow in this story, Xiaolang is descended the human half of Clow Reed. Yes, I know Xing Huo and Fei Wang were not lovers, not even bridge teammates (LOL) in Tsubasa Reservoir, so this should be considered an alternate reality. I've decided to make the time setting feudal in nature instead of based on a specific era, since my grasp of the nuances Japanese history isn't the best and I don't want to insult the Japanese by mixing up eras.

I use the term Great Houses for the small keeps which were practically little villages in feudal Japan. True geishas were selected from good families and were rigidly trained in the tea ceremony, how to flatter men's egos, how to glean political tidbits from what men let slip—in other words, they were not whores. Their favors were fought for, and they made great allies and lovers.

**And on a personal note:** Wow, I'm back after nearly a year. I still haven't been able to reconstruct my other works after the laptop wipeout (I have a new one now), so I just decided to go with a new story first before continuing the old ones. If you read my old stories, please accept my apologies; I need a beta badly as I'm not happy with them. The other story, "She Writes His Heart," will also be posted later. Please do feel free to drop me a note in a review. Constructive criticism is great, and by that I don't mean "U suk plz die" (aw be nice?) Thanks for reading! : D


	2. Contract

**Addiction 2: Contract**

**Summary:** He broke her heart cruelly, denying his feelings for her. Then his enemy gave her the comfort and kindness he never did. Now he must undo the damage before she becomes Card Mistress…and his enemy's, forever.

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**Standard disclaimer: **I don't own the CLAMP characters, only the plotline of this story.

Rated T for foul language. May go up to M depending on how this flows. Mild crossover with the use of Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles (TRC) characters. No spoilers for the various twists and the manga ending of Tsubasa (so kindly don't spoil that ending for anyone else if you've read it). The confrontation scene was co-authored with **CheeseyCraziness **before she retired from FFN to bask in real life. Xiaolang is modeled physically after the Evil Clone in TRC.

Special thanks to **brokenshadow23 **who very kindly located betas for me to try!

* * *

**In Chapter 1: **_Had it only been four months ago that he'd destroyed everything that meant anything to him? Syaoran Li looked up at the moon and sighed. The moon's rays refreshed him—no surprise, as he was, after all, a Li, and Lis resonated to the moon. Moonlight could also give him power, even heal his wounds._

_But not his heart.__No, not when he'd broken it himself with his pride and stupidity. _

_

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_

**A little over a year ago, at Shiroihana Academy**

It was about three in the morning when a magical force was released, so disruptive and powerful that Syaoran sat upright in his bed, waking instantly from a dream he couldn't recall.

He cursed under his breath. _No, it couldn't be._ But he'd be damned if he didn't recognize _**that**_ presence.

_The Clow Cards! _

But they were locked away! Nobody had been able to touch the book—the Moon Guardian Yue made sure of that. How could they have possibly been released?

He even forgot to put on a shirt as he ran out of his quarters in the academy. As he ran across the courtyard for the students' private quarters, he bumped into Eriol Hiiragizawa, who looked at him gravely.

"Good, I'm not the only one who noticed," Syaoran muttered. "Come on."

Together they went down to the basement under the school's main building, whose door was wide open, as though it had never been locked, and another door that Syaoran could swear had never been there before was open on the far end.

Syaoran held up a hand to stop Eriol and went first, slowly and quietly walking down the steps, all senses on high alert. His hand was on the charm at his neck, ready to activate the pendant which turned into his sword should the need arise.

He was expecting a great sorcerer, or an evil spirit, or some kind of strong magical power, yet to be named. When he felt the magical signature the Cards left behind, he quickly summoned his sword. Syaoran was glad he'd learned to cast his elemental spells without needing his ofuda; things would be faster that way. He also no longer needed to shout "Raitei Shourai!" or the other commands he needed to summon the magic. Gathering his magical energies about him, he felt the familiar rush that told him he was brimming with power. _**Now**_ he was ready for anything.

Anything, that is, except the sight of a somewhat grubby, petite, green-eyed girl with short wind-blown auburn hair, kneeling on the ground with the Clow book open wide in her lap…with nothing in it. He'd never seen it before, save in books and portraits of Clow, and the sight filled him with an unexpected fury. _This is a mistake; this had to be a mistake! Only the Card Master or Mistress should be able to open the Book!_ Syaoran thought.

"Hoe?" Her eyes widened in fear as she saw them. She quickly dropped to her knees in obeisance, dropping the book, but clinging to something in her hand.

"Please…I meant no harm, lords!" Sakura touched her forehead to the floor; the two teenaged boys who had entered the room were richly clad, had smooth skin, and were obviously of the upper class. The tallest, whose long dark hair was pulled into a ponytail at his nape, wore glasses and had a severe look on his handsome face—which for some reason was eerily familiar to Sakura. Close to his height was a gorgeous dark-haired boy with amber eyes, who for some reason was shirtless.

Both were glaring at her, and both were armed; the blue-eyed boy in glasses held a long dagger, the brown-eyed boy had a large sword.

Syaoran glared at her. "What are you doing here? Do you realize what you've just **done**?"

Sakura began to shake. "N-No... Please… What's going on? I'm sorry! I thought... This place seemed abandoned and empty... "

"Why would you want to enter an abandoned place?" he asked harshly. "Are you stupid?" He pointed his sword at her.

"And…this place is kept locked," Eriol said as he pushed his glasses up with his free hand. "How did you get in?"

Just as they advanced on Sakura, preparing to subdue her and force the Clow book out of her hands, the school's headmaster, Kaho Mizuki, shoved past Syaoran to look at the girl with her wise eyes.

"You opened the Book," she said softly, then to Sakura's surprise, she smiled.

"I'm sorry!" Sakura whimpered.

"Don't worry. You are safe," she said gently when she noticed Sakura trembling.

After a pause, in which Sakura mastered her fear somewhat, she asked, "Please…where am I?"

"This is the Shiroihana Academy, a revered place of magic and power. How did you get here?" Kaho asked kindly, if sternly.

"Ah... I just came here, and saw this hut outside... I was drawn to it… And I was curious. So I entered... I didn't realize this was an academy… there was a passageway, and I followed it. And this book... It was glowing... I just opened it... things flew out… but I still have this…" She was clearly nervous and babbling as she held up the Clow card she was holding.

Syaoran murmured to Eriol, "How come she has hold of a Clow Card?"

Kaho drew in a breath and then said, "I see. You did nothing wrong... Rather, you must have been drawn here for a reason, and that must have been the Cards calling to you. No, Syaoran, don't argue with me," she said as he glared. "What is your name, girl?"

"S-Sakura."

"Then you are now Sakura, mistress of the Clow Cards, student at Shiroihana academy. For that is the contract of the Cards, one of which you are holding right now."

"C-contract?" Sakura felt faint. "But I haven't signed anything with blood or my mark…"

"The book responded to you," Kaho said, "and you were able to open it. It has been predicted that the next master—or mistress, as the case may be—of the Clow Cards would be the only one who would be able to open the seal on the Book. By the terms of that magical contract, which was activated when you opened the book, you must now capture all the Cards and study magic here at the Academy, to make it your residence until you pass the Final Judgment."

"Hoe…" Sakura said softly. Again, she asked, _what have I gotten myself into? _

But at the back of her head was the thought, _I get to live here?_ A tiny thrill ran through her; it was clearly a good place to live. It was clean, secure, and warm.

"What? She's a girl with little power. There's no way she's the prophesied Card Mistress," Eriol said, frowning. "Master Kaho, I think you're mistaken."

"Nonetheless that is the contract as you very well know. It doesn't matter who she is," Kaho said calmly. "You know as well as I do that the Card Master or Mistress is the only one who can successfully open the book. And quite clearly, she just did. She's the one."

"I won't accept that," Syaoran suddenly bellowed. "You're supposed to be tested and trained. Shiroihana Academy is supposed to find the one, not have the one randomly stumble upon them. We should have all completed our training and then tried to open it. We four moved into the Elite Training, and so it should have been one of us!"

He jabbed a finger at Sakura, and added, "She is an intruder and should be treated—and punished—as such!"

Eriol agreed silently as Sakura shrank into herself with fear.

Kaho sighed. "Calm yourself, Sakura. There will be no punishment or harsh treatment," she said as she gave the boys a rare glare. "This was not up to me to decide and we do not turn out honored guests in the middle of the night—least of all the Card Mistress. That card in her hand proves she has the right to be here. Sakura, come with me. I'll explain what I can. The rest of you, go to sleep. We'll sort things out in the morning."

Sakura watched timidly as the others shuffled upstairs. Her eyes were particularly on the boy who'd been glaring at her the whole time—_Syaoran, was it?_ He was strangely shirtless, and she blushed, thinking that he was really beautiful, what with his thick dark brown hair and beautiful dark eyes and lean, muscled body. He moved gracefully as he walked away, and Sakura watched him.

But then he turned back around and glared at her again, sending a shudder down her spine.

"Idiot," he spat softly.

Then he left with the others.

"Hoe," Sakura whispered to herself as she followed Kaho Mizuki down the dark corridors. She knew she was in trouble, way over her head.

**

* * *

  
****Across the valley, on Kuroyama**

Breathing carefully as he went through the Dragon forms, Xiaolang Reed, son of Fei Wang and the late Xing Huo Reed, secretly took delight in the way his body flowed. He had no false humility; he knew he was splendidly built, lithe muscles on a slender frame sans an ounce of fat, which was why he enjoyed working on his forms naked in front of a mirror.

Light auburn hair tousled in a way women loved to run their hands through, high chiseled cheekbones, skin tanned to the color of light honey, and odd eyes—one brown, one blue—made him exceptionally handsome.

One would expect someone like him to be arrogant, and he certainly seemed to be, but he was surprisingly charming once one got to know him. He saw no point in being rude to anyone who had not proven they deserved discourtesy, after all; his politeness always won men over and landed the loveliest of girls in his bed.

And he adored them all. Sex to him was a delicious release of tension, and he took care to please his partners and make sure they knew he was merely looking for pleasure, not a commitment. So far, so good; no angry women had stormed his family's keep, nor had he made a girl cry after they had ended their dalliance. He'd also always taken precautions against pregnancy. It was always a mutually pleasurable arrangement, and he made sure the girls always left him happy and satisfied, ready to please their own future husbands.

He worked his body slowly, feeling his muscles respond to the familiar routine. He disliked working out at night, as Reeds were attuned to the Sun, but he had had business in the morning, and had only gotten free now.

Then he felt it. Faint, but... the legendary Clow Cards in the Shiroihana academy...

Someone had released them, after all those decades locked away in Yue's safekeeping.

It was natural for Xiaolang to have felt it. His family was the other half of the Clow line, the Sun sorcerers, and he was the most powerful magical member of them all. He frowned as he thought of the descendant of the Moon sorcerers—_idiot boy_. And he grimaced at the thought of the genetic joke that had dictated that he and Syaoran Li would resemble each other so closely that some girls joked the only way to tell them apart in the dark was to call their names.

He hated that. Syaoran was **nothing** like him; as far as he was concerned the Li boy was a prideful, arrogant idiot. _His pride will ruin him someday, hurt him beyond bearing,_ he thought, and he smiled grimly at the prospect.

He had no idea how right he was.

Xiaolang concentrated and cast a finding spell immediately so that he could trace who had released them. He drew his breath in when he saw who it was.

_A girl. _

A girl with lovely green eyes, short tousled auburn hair, a small but pert, athletic body...

She was _**beautiful**_, and ripewith power and of a rich destiny yet to be fulfilled. He drew his breath in as his eyes, in the vision, ran over her rosy cheeks, her even white teeth—she seemed to be sixteen, eighteen at most. He murmured a spell for finding the name she was called by, and was delighted to discover that she was named Sakura.

He opened his eyes as a thrill swept through him. This was the Card Mistress, the one foretold to be the possessor and wielder of great power. The one whom he had sworn to make his wife, as the prophecy said she would be the greatest magician of her time, and was destined to marry one of the Clow line. Together, she and her husband would enjoy great happiness and fortune.

And, as far as he was concerned, he was that descendant. That she was beautiful was a bonus, as far as he was concerned.

Oh this was going to be an excellent opportunity. He smiled broadly, even white teeth glinting in the moonlight. He would pay a visit to the neighboring academy tomorrow morning to meet this girl, whom he'd waited for what felt like all the twenty years of his life.

Xiaolang threw on a set of black robes and began to push open the heavy oak doors of his chambers, thinking, _I must talk to Father. Although I think he already knows, thanks to that mirror of his._

When he arrived at the vast marble hall where his father, Fei Wang Reed, was usually to be found watching a large obsidian mirror, the older man arose. Clad in long dark robes with a bat insignia on them, he was bearded and imposing. He did not waste words.

"You must win her over and father the true Clow bloodline on her," Fei Wang said in a deep voice. "Look past her ragged clothing and the dirt on the girl, and you can see that she is beautiful."

"I already know that," Xiaolang smiled.

"Surely you will win her over. What else has all your bedding of girls been for?" Fei Wang raised a thick, bushy eyebrow.

Xiaolang laughed. "Father! I prefer for love to blossom between us."

"Ever the romantic," his father raised one eyebrow. "Xiaolang, let me warn you never to lose your heart. Give it to her, and she will have your life in your hands."

"Isn't it too early to worry about that?"

"Bear in mind," Fei Wang said sternly, "that she will have to live at Shiroihana. Clow Reed made it that way when he left the Cards behind. The magical contract, which was activated when she broke the seal on the Clow book, mandates that she train with Yue and Kaho Mizuki and the other elite students of magic at Shiroihana until she finishes sealing all the cards and faces Final Judgment at Cerberus' hands."

"Father, I know all this," Xiaolang said. "We have an advantage: we know what she is, and I intend to bring the Key to her tomorrow morning. That way the headmaster Mizuki will have no choice but to allow me to help in training her. I will be admitted on the grounds of Shiroihana. And if you fear I will be attacked, I know—and this is no boast—that no magician at that academy save for Yue can best me. And Yue will not challenge me unless I give offense."

"You've been thinking about this."

"I had a premonition," Xiaolang said. "I've studied the four elite students. Eriol Hiiragizawa has great potential, but cannot find his focus. Meilin Li is an idiot who is only there for her martial arts prowess, and because she is obsessed with her cousin. The Daidouji princess, Tomoyo, is not adept at magic but was chosen for her ability to analyze and withstand it. As for Syaoran," and Xiaolang practically spat the name out, "he struts the school halls as though he were already the Card Master. I'll make sure Sakura takes him down a peg or two."

"You discovered her name," Fei Wang was pleased.

"A simple enough spell," Xiaolang shrugged. "The war seems to have separated her from her family. When I'm not training her, I shall find them…and offer them the hospitality of our halls."

Fei Wang smiled; his son was as intelligent as he expected him to be. But he warned him, "The Li boy is at Shiroihana, and may win her over before you do."

"I won't let that happen. Besides, I'm sure Meilin will make sure Syaoran never gets close to Sakura," Xiaolang laughed. "In that she is a useful, if unwitting ally."

"Ask our Guardian ally what he thinks," Fei Wang said.

"Cerberus!" Xiaolang called.

A small creature that looked like a tiny winged bear flew swiftly to them from the large portals that opened up to the mountainside, and then asked, "Got something to eat?"

Xiaolang laughed. "No, but the event we've been waiting for has happened."

Cerberus blinked, then said, "Oh, yeah, I was gonna say that."

"Sure you were," Xiaolang smiled.

"So who is it?"

"The very lovely girl Clow predicted," Xiaolang said, "and I know, I scryed her and saw her last night. You felt the Cards too, I'm sure."

"I did, of course," Cerberus said.

Fei Wang inclined his head towards the Sun guardian. "Are you ready to help train the girl?"

"By your bidding," Cerberus nodded.

Gesturing with a hand, Fei Wang showed Cerberus an image of Sakura, who was listening earnestly to Kaho Mizuki.

"Pretty," Cerberus said approvingly.

"Glad you like my future wife," Xiaolang grinned.

"Looks like it'll be fun training her," Cerberus said. Then he added wistfully, "I hope she knows how to make good pudding."

**To be continued in Chapter 3**

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**Notes**: I know Fei Wang Reed never evinced any romantic interest in Xing Huo in Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles; heck, he killed her! But still, they make the best parents for Xiaolang for the purposes of this story.

I also reversed the positions of Yue and Cerberus/Kero. Kero is the Sun guardian, and so I gave him to Xiaolang. Yue, I think, would be a harsh taskmaster and would guard the Cards differently from the way Kero did in the anime.

I would like to thank you for your reviews; they inspire me to update (LOL sorry!) : **DN Angel and Cardcaptor Sakura **(Oh you will so hate Syaoran in the next few chapters!), **poems2songs **(No, thank YOU for the review!), **Twilight Kisses** (Yay, and I hope you enjoy them!), **Flamian **(Here's the update, and I'll try to do so every week or so), **AngelEmCuti** (Thanks! Hope you continue to do so), **brokenshadow23 **(THANK YOU for your super kind research for me, I really appreciate it! I'll try not to make XiaoLang too nice XD), **butterflyKISSU **(Syaoran is SO going to have his work cut out for him, ne?), **BunnyParfait **(oh, cute name! Thank you!), and **MikoKagome1113 **(Oh thanks! I hope I don't disappoint you!).


	3. Key

**Addiction 3: Key**

Rated T for foul language. May go up to M depending on how this flows. Mild crossover with the use of Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles (TRC) characters. No spoilers for the various twists and the manga ending of Tsubasa (so kindly don't spoil that ending for anyone else if you've read it). Xiao Lang is modeled physically after the Evil Clone in TRC.

* * *

**In Chapter 2: **

"_I had a premonition," Xiaolang said. "I've studied the four elite students. Eriol Hiiragizawa has great potential, but cannot find his focus. Meilin Li is an idiot who is only there for her martial arts prowess, and because she is obsessed with her cousin. The Daidouji princess, Tomoyo, is not adept at magic but was chosen for her ability to analyze and withstand it. As for Syaoran," and Xiaolang practically spat the name out, "he struts the school halls as though he were already the Card Master. I'll make sure Sakura takes him down a peg or two."_

_Fei Wang smiled; his son was as intelligent as he expected him to be. But he warned him, "The Li boy is at Shiroihana, and may win her over before you do."_

"_I won't let that happen. Besides, I'm sure Meilin will make sure Syaoran never gets close to Sakura," Xiaolang laughed. "In that she is a useful, if unwitting ally."_

* * *

**The next morning**

Sakura was shaken awake by...Kaho Mizuki, she remembered the name. The gentle-eyed redhead smiled. "You sleep a lot, don't you?"

Rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, Sakura yawned. "S...sorry." She felt well-rested; that night she'd had the best sleep since she'd been separated from her family. The bed was so soft and warm, she was reluctant to leave it, having had to sleep on the cold ground with little or no cover for so long.

"Well, we did talk a long time, child," Kaho smiled, and Sakura was struck by the woman's sheer beauty, regal air, and kindness.

"I…" Sakura blushed; all the fuss that had happened last night was because of her. "I'm still not sure why I'm here and what it means to be a Cardcaptor…"

"Don't worry, you'll learn more as you go along," Kaho said, smiling. "Now come on…you must be hungry, and breakfast is waiting."

"I'm sorry, Madam…I mean, er, Master Kaho," Sakura hastily tumbled out of the futon and bowed low. "I…I'm not used to waking up early, forgive me." _Especially since most of my activities are nocturnal,_ she thought, embarrassed.

"Only idiots sleep that long," came a sarcastic voice from the door. Sakura was surprised when she saw a beautiful girl with reddish-brown eyes and long, straight black hair done up in long ponytail buns on the side of her head. She spoke like a member of the nobility, so Sakura quickly stood up and bowed to her.

"Meilin," Kaho said in a warning tone.

The girl named Meilin glared at Sakura then tossed her head and left.

"Sakura," Kaho said. "Listen to me. Expect some hostility from the others in the academy. They have wanted to be the master of the Clow Cards, and for you to come in and suddenly take it away...well, childish pride," Kaho smiled.

"Sh...should I give them back?" Sakura held up the card in her hand. 'Windy,' it read. "Wi…"

"No, Sakura, don't read the name out loud," Kaho interrupted quickly, her voice still calm but her body tensing. "If you do, the card will activate and you need the sealing staff to control them. I think we should head for Kuroyama later, to request the Key from their…leader, Fei Wang Reed, and his son Xiao Lang." Kaho's eyes became downcast at that statement.

"But I can't pay to study here," Sakura said in a panic. "I just...Last night...I..." She stopped herself before she could add, _I came here to scavenge—no, steal the book_!

"There is no payment here," Kaho smiled kindly. "for the Card Mistress. It is our duty and pleasure to teach you. I regret that I was only able to tell you a little bit last night: what the Clow Cards are, and I apologize for pressing you about Clow Reed."

"Oh no, it was all right," Sakura said. "He… He sort of looked like that other boy last night…"

"Eriol," Kaho said, an unreadable expression on her face. "Eriol is…his son. I have not seen Clow in years… not since he… disappeared…" Her voice trailed off.

"Oh." Sakura couldn't think of anything else to say.

Kaho shook her head, then said, "Uniforms are provided. If you wish to go out, you can borrow clothes from the other girls. You've seen Meilin; she's a Li and cousin to Syaoran, whom you saw last night—that's the brown-haired boy. The other one you'll meet is named Tomoyo Daidouji, and she's a princess of the Amamiya line."

Sakura shuddered. If the hostility she'd sensed from Meilin earlier was anything to go by, borrowing clothes, let alone a grain of rice, was going to be a terrifically difficult task she did not look forward to at all.

"Here, you can use this for the meantime," Kaho handed her a light green set of robes. "The dining hall is the third building down the right when you exit this room."

"Er, where should I sleep?" Sakura asked shyly.

Kaho laughed. "Why Sakura, these are now your chambers."

"Hoe...this is for me?" Sakura's eyes opened wide. The room was bigger than her house had been, and was furnished with a real bed and other trappings of luxury: sheets, a mirror, a Western-style quilt, even her own toilet with real running water.

"Of course. It is an honor to house the Card Mistress. Master Yue will meet you after lunch to discuss the capture of the cards," Kaho said. "Now go on and get dressed then head for dining hall down the corridor on the left with the large doors."

Sakura struggled into the robes after washing up in the luxurious toilet of her room. She ran a comb through her hair, and desperately wished she wasn't so small and insignificant. Everyone else she had seen at the Academy was clearly aristocratic… especially that handsome Syaoran boy.

She smiled a bit; perhaps she would see him at breakfast? Goodness, he was even more good-looking than Yukito Tsukishiro, whom she had loved as a child. She left her quarters and slowly made her way to the dining hall, marveling at the carvings, the koi pond, the beautiful wooden statues and the portraits.

Maybe this was all for the best after all?

* * *

In the private dining hall, Syaoran, Eriol, Meilin, and Tomoyo were seated at the large dining table, impatient and annoyed. The new girl was already ten minutes late; the food was getting cold. They weren't allowed to eat until the table was complete, and so they waited.

"Did anyone bother telling the idiot about the rules here?" Meilin seethed. "Does she know we have to wait until all we elite students—of which she is not one, mind you—are at the table before we can eat? The fish is starting to cool off, the rice is getting dry..."

"Do calm down, Meilin," Tomoyo, the other girl, who had violet eyes and long, curling black hair, said quietly. "She doesn't know anything yet."

"And that is the problem," Eriol, a dark-haired boy with glasses and sea-blue eyes, said. "She does not know anything. Not about the Cards. Not about the Academy. She knows _nothing_."

"Where the hell did she come from anyway?" Meilin asked. "She looks poor," she added with a sneer. "No wonder she knows nothing. It's because _she_ is nothing." She chuckled.

"That you think her poverty is a reason to look down on her proves you unworthy," an irritated voice came from the door. All four students straightened up; it was their harshest taskmaster, Yue, half-human and half-angel, who had spoken.

"She's not here?" Yue flew into the room. "Ah, then I shall see the girl later." He was about to fly out when Meilin spoke up.

"You call us unworthy," she said, bitterness edging her voice, "and yet you continue to push us when you teach us. There has to be a reason why we're here!"

Yue looked down at her. "You forget your place. It's Master Yue, and your petty childish irritation is no excuse for you to speak that way. And you say the girl Sakura has no manners? Reflect on this then: the hunchback cannot see his own hunch."

"Yes, but who is she?" Meilin argued, quickly adding, "Master Yue?"

"Why is it that you're still at this academy? Had it not been for Kaho, I would have thrown you out a long time ago," and Yue touched her chin disdainfully, "you magic-less child of a magical family who only came here because she wanted to keep an eye on the boy she worships. You are like a sad little dog. Don't you know he does not feel the same way about you at all?"

Meilin's mouth fell open at the humiliation of Yue's cruel barb. She looked desperately at Syaoran, waiting for him to say something, anything. But he remained indifferent. Knowing she could not strike back at Yue, Meilin decided to take it out on Sakura later.

"But Master Yue..." Eriol began to protest. He was silenced by a silver-eyed glare.

"Surely you can't prefer that unschooled, untrained girl to us," Syaoran finally spoke. "She has very faint magic, Master!"

Yue raised an eyebrow. "Oh and I suppose that in all the years you've been here, your magic was so powerful that the Clow Cards decided to—er, avoid you, O Wise Descendant of Clow Li Syaoran?"

Syaoran went red with anger at the mockery. "We weren't allowed near the cards, Master, and that was upon your orders!"

Yue raised a brow. "It was a test, you fool, and that you did not realize it shows you are unworthy. Besides, they never came to you, or called to you."

He eyed all four disdainfully. "I shall train Sakura myself. The rest of you are free this afternoon. I don't want to see any of you unworthy petty jealous idiots later." Casting a scornful glance backwards, he flew out of the dining hall.

Given how insulted they felt, it was a relief when Sakura arrived a few minutes later, panting. Now they could take it out on her.

Sakura smiled when she saw Syaoran. He was even more handsome in the morning light.

"Good morning! Sorry! I got lost. I..." And that was when she noticed the cold looks all four were giving her. Her smile faded a little.

"Sit down, idiot," Meilin said.

"I..."

"She said 'sit'. Are you stupid?" Syaoran asked, one eyebrow raised.

Quietly Sakura sat at the place farthest from the door. Eriol and Meilin smirked; Tomoyo looked away; Syaoran snorted.

"Your name's Sakura, right?" Meilin asked in a falsely sweet tone.

"Yes!" Sakura smiled, pretending not to notice the insult in how Meilin used her name in such a familiar way without her permission as she didn't want to start off on the wrong foot with them.

"Well then, _**Card Mistress**_ Sakura…are you elevating yourself above us already?" Meilin said in the same sickly sweet tone.

"Hoe?" Sakura looked around. There was no other place except for the one at the other end, with its back to the door.

"Where you are is Master Kaho's place. Don't you know basic etiquette?" Syaoran, who sat at the second highest place on the right side of Kaho's place, said without looking at her, rolling his eyes. "Probably not. Hurry up. We're hungry. Move!"

Sakura grinned nervously, then moved to the other end of the table—which was the lowest position, not that she knew it—between Meilin and another girl. When she'd sat down, she looked at the rest of them for a cue as to how to behave.

They began eating, placing food in their bowls with their chopsticks. Sakura sighed; she was hungry. She tried to reach for the rice across her.

The girl with violet eyes and curling hair sighed. "Say please," she said softly, "and I'll pass it to you. Kindly do not reach for it like a monkey."

Sakura blushed. Oh great, she had embarrassed herself again. "S... sorry. M... may I please have the rice?"

The violet-eyed girl handed it to her without looking at her, but at least she wasn't outright rude. Sakura carefully thanked her and out of the corner of her eye, she watched the others eat so that she could imitate them. None of them spoke, so Sakura also kept quiet as she ate, concentrating on making sure no food spilled from her chopsticks or her mouth. She also slowed down after she saw Meilin, eyes narrowed, who watching Sakura wolf her food down.

Once done, all four rose as one from the table and left Sakura eating there.

"Are you sure that was all right?" Tomoyo asked Eriol. "We never even introduced ourselves to her." What they'd done was a serious insult; they had left without excusing or introducing themselves. Clan wars had started over such insults.

"She's the _Card Mistress_," Meilin sneered. "She can't eat with those who are... lesser... than her. And it's not like she even noticed it was an insult. Talk about straight from the gutter!"

Eriol was the first to snicker cruelly; soon, laughter filled the air. Even Tomoyo reluctantly joined in. All four headed for the practice hall, knowing Sakura would never find her way there on her own. Yue could go find her, for all they cared at the moment.

Left to herself, Sakura sighed in relief. Clearly all four were aristocrats; she was used to rude treatment from that class of people and told herself not to take it too personally. She then set to finishing her breakfast and ate heartily. The food was delicious—fried fish and shrimp with light sweet sauce and egg—and she happily finished up. As she was accustomed to it, she cleaned up the table and was preparing to put away everyone's plates (not knowing that at the academy, servants took care of menial chores) when she realized she did not know where the kitchen was.

Sighing, she told herself, "Everything will be all right!" and carried the plates out of the dining hall. _I'll find the kitchen,_ she told herself.

What she found though after a long walk was the entrance hall. Tired, she set the dishes down and tried to look for someone she could ask directions from. Instead, an opulent purple carriage pulled up outside the entrance to the academy.

A very handsome boy stepped out of it. Though he looked like Syaoran, he was smiling, making him look even more appealing, and he looked straight at Sakura. His eyes were gorgeous; thickly lashed and deep-set, one was amber and the other, clear light blue.

"The Card Mistress, I presume?" He walked towards her, and gave her a formal bow. "Reed Xiaolang of Kuroyama and the Reed Clan at your service." He held out his hand, smiling gently.

Sakura, not knowing aristocratic manners, made obeisance. "I...I greet you, Reed-sama."

He laughed, but his was not a cruel laugh. Rather, it was a musical sound of amusement.

Xiaolang bent down and looked at her. "The Card Mistress bows to no one," he said gently as he raised her chin. "And you can just call me Xiaolang, if you'll let me call you Sakura-chan."

Sakura straightened up and blushed; he seemed so much nicer than the four she had met earlier. "Yes, lord. But how did you know my name?"

"When I felt the release of the Cards last night, I scryed for you and cast a spell to find the name people call you by," Xiaolang said. "I learned it was 'Sakura' and I also know your family has been lost to you for now."

She looked sad, and so he added, "Your older brother and father are safe."

"Oh, thank you!" Sakura bowed again, and smiled.

Xiaolang watched her. She was even more beautiful in person than he'd thought, and delightfully innocent. Innocence was such a rare thing in the world he moved in, and she appealed to him even more.

_I want her, _he thought. When she stopped talking, he bowed. "I have something for you."

"Hoe?" Sakura slapped her hand over her mouth, and Xiaolang smiled. "I mean...do I know you? Er…" She shut up, worried that she was saying something inappropriate again.

"The Reeds are the other family descended from Clow. Ours, if I may add, is the Western half. The Eastern descendant, the Li boy, is somewhere in this academy, not that he is significant," he said sneeringly.

"Hoe…"

"Please, there is no need to concern yourself about it, lovely Sakura-chan." Xiaolang smiled again.

"Uh…sure," Sakura said, smiling back tentatively. Then she asked, "The Eastern half… D-do you mean S-syaoran-san?" Sakura ventured. "Because, er, you look like each other." When Xiaolang frowned, she quickly apologized.

Xiaolang laughed. "Don't worry; I'm aware I look like him. But you needn't be bored by family history now, least of all his. Like I said, I came to give you something," and he turned to his carriage to retrieve something.

Footsteps sounded behind them, and a horrified-looking Kaho and the four other elite students arrived. Syaoran shot a furious look at Xiaolang, and his hand was on the pendant that summoned his sword.

But when Syaoran noticed who was with Xiaolang… His eyes narrowed. She was blushing, and Xiaolang was looking at her with admiring eyes. He could not understand why this made him angry, and so he settled for glaring at Sakura, telling himself she was an idiot.

"You idiot," Meilin hissed at Sakura. "Do you even know who he is?"

"He… he said he was Xiaolang Reed," Sakura stammered. She noticed that Syaoran was glaring at her and at Xiaolang, who had returned with a tiny red box. Xiaolang smiled at her, but at Syaoran he shot a venomous look, quickly veiled with an insincere smile.

"Young master Reed," Kaho said carefully. "To what do we owe the honor of your presence?"

"Master Kaho," Xiaolang bowed respectfully. He smirked at the other students, though, causing Syaoran to redden with anger and Eriol to tense up. "I came to give the Card Mistress what is rightfully hers." And he bowed as he handed Sakura the box. "It is your Key, and the incantation that goes with it."

"Don't!" Syaoran's voice rang out, overly loud.

"Hoe?" Sakura turned towards him. Syaoran had dashed towards them, and his hand had slapped Xiaolang's hand away.

**To be continued in Chapter 4**

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Notes: If it seems like Eriol, Meilin, and Tomoyo are out of character, please be patient. Meilin was hostile to Sakura at the beginning of the anime, but eventually thawed. As for Eriol and Tomoyo, there is a reason for the way they act which will be revealed later. Syaoran, if you will recall, was very mean to Sakura when they first met… yet also strangely protective (remember the Sword episode in the manga and the anime?)

I was wondering—am I doing that badly? I only got five reviews for the last chapter, and I am quite thankful for them. But I can't help but think I must be doing something wrong if there are so few reviews. No, I won't hold chapters back to angle for reviews, but I can't help but think, is it because the pace is too slow? Is there too little SxS? Please do tell me what I'm doing wrong, because after all a fanfic writer's only 'food' is reviews, and wouldn't you get a little bit discouraged if you don't get feedback? So please, even if it's just 'Keep going' I'd appreciate knowing if this story is working. Thanks! (smile)


	4. Repercussions

**Addiction 4: Repercussions**

Rated Tfor foul language. May go up to M depending on how this flows. Mild crossover with the use of Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles (TRC) characters. No spoilers for the various twists and the manga ending of Tsubasa (so kindly don't spoil that ending for anyone else if you've read it since all I've done is borrow characters). Xiao Lang is modeled physically after the Evil Clone in TRC, but has his own personality here.

* * *

**In Chapter 3: **

_"Master Kaho," Xiaolang bowed respectfully. He smirked at the other students, though, causing Syaoran to redden with anger and Eriol to tense up. "I came to give the Card Mistress what is rightfully hers." And he bowed as he handed Sakura the box. "It is your Key, and the incantation that goes with it."_

"_Don't!" Syaoran's voice rang out, overly loud._

"_Hoe?" Sakura turned towards him. Syaoran had dashed towards them, and his hand had slapped Xiaolang's hand away._

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"Don't accept anything from this bastard, you idiot!" Syaoran spat, placing himself protectively between Sakura and Xiaolang. "It will be a disaster for us if you do!"

"Do not offer me violence, cousin," Xiaolang said politely, but there was a menacing undertone as he stepped towards Sakura again. "Under the laws of hospitality, you have no right to threaten me, especially since I have not done anything wrong and have given no offense. Unless it is your intent to wrestle the Key away from its rightful owner?" He laughed harshly.

"Of course not!" Syaoran backed away a step before he realized what he was doing.

"I suppose it's the only way you can get your hands on the Cards, to steal the Key away from Sakura-san," Xiaolang said softly, his tone pitched for Syaoran's ears alone. Syaoran reddened with anger, and Xiaolang felt a surge of vindictive pleasure at how easy it was to set Syaoran off.

Syaoran had hauled one clenched fist backwards to hit Xiaolang, but Kaho Mizuki had reached his side and pulled him away, whispering quickly and urgently.

"Take it, Sakura-san, and forgive my presumption for using your first name," XIaolang said, and he took one small hand in his larger, graceful-fingered one, caressing the back of her hand gently. Xiaolang was surprised; for a commoner, her hands were strangely smooth, though she clearly did work with them.

Syaoran almost moved forward again but Kaho held him back, shaking her head.

"Why can't you just leave them alone, Syaoran?" Kaho whispered. His behavior was unusually emotional, and she was getting worried.

"It's because of him," Syaoran whispered back.

Kaho looked into his eyes. _He may believe it,_ she thought, _but he doesn't realize…_

Xiaolang smirked at Syaoran then placed the box in Sakura's hands. She opened the box. A tiny winged key on a lovely golden chain lay there.

"F-for me?" Sakura lifted it, incredulous.

With another smirk aimed at Syaoran, Xiaolang said, "Allow me, little beauty."

"How utterly cheap," Eriol said, sotto voce, commenting on how Xiaolang was baiting Syaoran.

"What do you expect from the **fake **half of Clow's line?" Meilin said loudly.

Xiaolang looked at Syaoran and said with false sweetness, "Attend to your lovely betrothed, cousin. She seems… lonely."

"She's not my fiancée!" Syaoran spat indignantly.

"But dear Syaoran, is Meilin not lovely and pleasing to the eye? You ought not to let a jewel like her go," Xiaolang said silkily. "If I were you, I would have married her as soon as I turned sixteen."

"Shut your mouth," Syaoran snarled. "I will not marry her!"

At this, Meilin's eyes widened; she paled then turned away. Tomoyo placed a hand to keep her from running off.

In the middle of the commotion he had provoked—and he was vastly amused at how easy it was—Xiaolang took the chain, moving closer to Sakura.

Sakura blushed as he leaned in and clasped it around her neck. Then he bent towards her ear, noting how she smelled fresh and sweet. He restrained himself from licking the sensitive spot where the shoulder met the neck, and positioned his lips at her ear, catching Syaoran watching. He smiled at Syaoran and pursed his lips as if to kiss the girl to annoy the younger boy further.

_That lecherous pig! _Syaoran thought. But Kaho had told him to be silent, and so he obeyed, gritting his teeth in irritation.

The feud that ran between their families was old. The Lis and the Reeds competed for land, the favor of the Emperor, the talent of their heirs…and yet the root of the problem lay in that the Lis were descended from Clow Reed's legitimate daughter, and the Reeds descended from Clow Reed's bastard son.

None of them knew that the two had fallen into a forbidden love, and had been torn apart by their horrified mothers, who had then instigated the feud while forbidding Clow Reed to interfere. The Reed boy had pined away in an arranged marriage and died soon after the birth of his only son; the Reed girl been forced into marriage with a much older lord and had died giving birth to twin boys. In spite their grandmothers told the three children that their parents had hated each other, and that their love affair was a lie made up by the other family.

Thus there should have been no reason for a feud that had been rooted in jealous competition and many hurt feelings, but after the passing of many generations, imagined slights and actual injuries, it had become a matter of honor.

And now, all Syaoran could see was that Xiaolang was interested in Sakura. All he could think of was not letting the older boy get an advantage over him.

_So he shows that girl special attention,_ Syaoran observed. _He must know something I don't. I won't let him have that satisfaction, to put things over me!_

Then and there he resolved to compete for Sakura. She would be Syaoran's trophy. He would win her favor and throw it in Xiaolang's face. It would be easy, right? Sakura was a mere commoner, after all. A few nice words and gestures, and she would be eating out of his hands in pathetic gratitude.

Had Syaoran known how dangerous it was to toy with Sakura's affections, he might have thought twice.

Meilin watched Syaoran's expression. She was no fool; she knew Syaoran had decided on something. His chin had that set to it, one she knew from a long childhood together. And given how intensely he watched Sakura, Meilin realized with a sinking heart that this had to be the start of the prophecy she had dreamt of some time ago that her mother had told her never to reveal if she wished to marry Syaoran: that the new master of the Clow Cards would be a girl, and that the Card Mistress was destined to marry a descendant of Clow Reed.

Meilin had come to Sakura's quarters that morning after hearing of Sakura's arrival the night before from Eriol. She had told herself that Sakura was grubby and ugly, that she was a no-account piece of trash from the streets.

Deep down Meilin knew she was lying to herself. Sakura was a beautiful girl; she had been horrified to see Sakura for the first time. While Meilin was likewise a beauty, Sakura had an inner loveliness, a sweetness to her Meilin could not hope to match, what with her aggressive personality.

Syaoran was susceptible to sweetness, Meilin knew; he got along with Princess Tomoyo alone among the other girls in the academy. Those who threw themselves at him, he usually rejected, unless they offered him their beds and were beautiful; before she had arrived at Shiroihana, she was heartbroken to learn that Syaoran, in competition with Xiaolang, had bedded a few girls in the village and three, older than he and who soon graduated, in the academy—whom she had had the misfortune to meet.

_I need to do something, fast!_ she screamed in her mind.

Had she known that Xiaolang already knew of her dream through his father's looking-glass, Meilin would have acted faster than she did now. He was her ally in that he also did not want Syaoran to wind up with Sakura.

She cast about in her head. Killing Sakura was not an option; Syaoran would withdraw from a murderer, regardless of her reasons. How could she get rid of Sakura when Sakura was as likely to marry Syaoran as she was to marry Xiaolang?

_Please, Kami-sama, let it be Xiaolang! _She had loved Syaoran for long, she couldn't even conceive of loving another. But he pushed her aside, took her for granted, and was often irritated by her presence. And she knew that forcing her presence on him, touching him all the time without his permission, and once, in an incident she would rather forget, entering his chambers and waiting for him naked on his bed—none of these endeared her to him. But she knew no other way to be part of his life.

And now here came Sakura, eliciting angry, emotional reactions from Syaoran, reactions she had never seen in him before. From him Meilin got only reactions of annoyance and bored tolerance, but Sakura… Meilin had seen how Syaoran stood between her and Xiaolang.

He had never, would never do that for her. He would protect Meilin from danger, certainly—she was his cousin, after all—but to act as though she was something he wanted to own or possess… that was not something Meilin would ever know from Syaoran.

_Damn that Sakura! _Meilin bit back hot tears, hiding her eyes behind the fringe of hair on her forehead. If only Sakura had not come to the academy before Meilin succeeded in luring Syaoran into making love to her. If only Sakura hadn't opened the Book. If only, if only!

There and then she resolved to fight Sakura, to show Syaoran who was the better wife for him. Was she not, after all, descended from the same nobles he was?

Then she remembered something… Some time ago, Meilin had found an ancient spell in the forbidden vaults of the Li library, which she had planned to use on Syaoran. "The Shot: A Ritual of Bonding," it had read, once she had translated the runes.

It called for a man to bind a virgin girl to him with the use of sex, an arcane spell requiring components a mere girl like herself had no hope of finding, such as blood from a black cat that had never had a litter, dragon's passion flowers plucked at the seventh waning of the moon, the single black hair of an otherwise purely white wolf. It would make the victim feel a strong infatuation for the spellcaster; she would go insane if she could not make love to the spellcaster. Meilin had originally tried researching how to convert the spell to her advantage and use it on Syaoran.

But the obstacles in her way, aside from the obvious lack of the exotic ingredients, were that she was the wrong gender, and second, Syaoran was definitely not a virgin. Finally, being magic-less, she did not understand magic well enough to conceive of the rituals of changing needed for the conversion of the spell for her needs.

_But Xiaolang likes Sakura, _Meilin thought, cheering up gradually. _If I give him the spell, he's old and powerful enough to try it, and probably ruthless enough—and his family certainly practices dark magic so they will have the components and he can understand the spell! He can bind Sakura to himself, and then he'll do me the favor of taking her away from here. _

_Once she is in love with Xiaolang, Sakura can be prevented from acquiring the Clow Cards, right? Once she is addicted to him, Syaoran and I will be free to capture the Cards together… and he will see, he __**must**__ see how valuable I am to him when we become master and mistress of the Cards!_

Eriol was no longer taking in the scene before him, something unusual given his penchant for observation and collection of data. Otherwise he would have known Meilin was planning something that would change all their lives without her meaning to do so. He was torn between proving himself worthy of Clow Reed, who was supposed to have fathered him, and obeying his own wants and desires. But the uncertainty nagged at him; people doubted it, as Clow Reed had been dead for almost two hundred years. And the Lis and the Reeds viewed him with skepticism; many had claimed to be descended from or to actually be Clow Reed over the years, after all.

Only Kaho Mizuki believed him, but her faith in him was not enough to dispel the cloud of suspicion around him. When he had grown to become almost a duplicate of Clow Reed in looks, and had learned complex spells that defeated even Syaoran, many of the whispers and jeers around him had grown silent. But it wasn't enough… least of all until Sakura came along.

Syaoran was wrong; Sakura's magic was the kind that grew stronger the more she used it. Eriol kept this to himself, unwilling to acknowledge the possibility that she might be the one who could change lives and worlds. Everyone had assumed he, Eriol, would be the most likely to open the Book.

They were wrong—and he was unable and unwilling to accept it.

The Princess Tomoyo also kept silent, thinking of how she had been sent to the academy originally as a mere boarder. Her mother, Queen Sonomi, had never stopped mourning the disappearance of the Crown Princess Nadeshiko in strange circumstances many years before her birth. And when her father had himself quietly died, Tomoyo had become like a little ghost, noticed only when she did something out of the ordinary.

She had tried. She grew her hair out like Nadeshiko's; she learned to sing with a sweet voice that enraptured those who heard her; she did her lessons diligently and behaved properly.

All it accomplished was to remind Lady Sonomi of the loss of Nadeshiko… and soon Tomoyo found herself packed off to Shiroihana to learn history and etiquette.

It was by accident that her immunity to magic was discovered. Eriol had been trying a complex new spell in a neighboring classroom and it had gone wild, shattering the barriers between rooms and stunning into unconsciousness all in the room with Tomoyo—save for her, despite being in the direct line of the spell. Kaho Mizuki had quickly moved her to the elite class as a result of the fortuitous discovery.

Now, watching Sakura, she reserved judgment. She had found something like a family in Eriol, Syaoran, and Meilin. This Sakura had already created upheaval in the group—and Tomoyo did not like change. Meilin was clearly unhappy about Sakura's presence; the vitriol from Eriol was palpable to all; and Syaoran's mixed emotions did nothing to relieve the tension.

Meanwhile Xiaolang quietly instructed Sakura in the use of the Key. "For the first time, you say 'O Key that hides the forces of darkness, under the terms of the contract with the new mistress, Sakura, I command you to release!' "

Wait," he laughed, "not yet," as Sakura was about to whisper to the Key. "We'll do that when I come back, when we begin training together. If you release the Key now, you might attract a Clow card, and it might attack you."

Sakura nodded, so he continued, "After that all you have to do is say 'Release' to summon your staff," he said softly. "That helps you control the Clow Cards. All you have to do is call the Card's name then have it do what you will. I'll teach you how to Seal cards in your first lesson. Later we'll learn to detect them."

He straightened up and smiled. Catching sight of the four other students, he curled his lip at them. Meilin drew closer to Syaoran, who was clearly itching to summon his sword. She laid a hand on his arm, but he shook her off, seething with anger.

"Perhaps it might be time to send the others home, now that the Card Mistress is here?" Xiaolang taunted, though in a polite tone. "They are not, after all, needed."

Syaoran and Eriol both tensed; Syaoran balled up his fists and began to go red.

"Young master Reed," Kaho said in a strangled voice, "that would be something we shall determine, with all due respect. We are in your debt for bringing the Key. Name your price."

Sakura could sense she had somehow done something wrong; everyone except Kaho and the other girl who was not Meilin was glaring at her. She shrank into herself, but then Xiaolang smiled gently at her.

"I ask for the right to help train the Card Mistress here at Shiroihana Academy… and to capture cards with her if the opportunity presents itself," Xiaolang said carefully.

Meilin and Eriol gasped. Kaho paled, but recovered herself. Syaoran choked. _That stupid girl!_ Not only had she entertained the enemy in their base, she had now placed them in the uncomfortable position of having to accept him into their academy because they owed him!

"You **idiot**!" he cried before Kaho managed to push him backwards.

Sakura cringed. Why were they all so mean to her? Yes, true, she was of common blood. But even noble-borns needed to show courtesy to others, didn't they?

If it hadn't been for Xiaolang, she would have wished that all noble-borns would just—disappear.

"Of couse," Kaho said softly. "But will it not be an inconvenience for you, young master Reed?"

"Nonsense, Master Kaho. It will be a privilege to help train the Card Mistress. I shall arrive thrice a week in the afternoons to teach her. You needn't worry about wasting your other students' time; obviously it is only Sakura I shall teach."

Kaho nodded weakly, then as a matter of formality, added, "You will train her here?"

"And at Kuroyama, if necessary," Xiaolang smiled. "Fear not; I know this must be her residence until the Final Judgment. But some materials for her training are there; you very well know that I cannot risk transporting them. And so occasionally I will take her with me."

Kaho paled, but she bowed and thanked him before she turned to go back to the academy.

Sakura was tempted to ask Xiaolang if she could go with him instead; he seemed much friendlier than everyone at Shiroihana. But he smiled at her, bowed, then kissed her hand.

"H…" Sakura swallowed the rest of the word; Xiaolang traced his lips gently, feather-light, across the back of her hand, and when he straightened up, he said, "I shall be back on the second sunrise from today. I look forward to helping you, Card Mistress."

Syaoran clenched his fists. How dare that smooth snake come into their academy and sow discord? And he was practically undressing Sakura with his eyes. Syaoran found the lechery of the older boy an untenable insult. He didn't care about what Sakura felt about the whole thing; he just wanted Xiaolang out of their academy **now**.

"When you are here, you behave yourself, you disgusting…" Syaoran couldn't find the words, an insult bad enough.

"Dear cousin, if you want for women so badly, we at Kuroyama can send you some of those I haven't chosen to let into my bed. Especially since you seem to like my rejects, yes?" Xiaolang said a falsely gracious tone.

The insult caused Meilin to scream, "You disgusting pig!" as she leapt forward to slap Xiaolang, hard.

But the blow never landed. Instead Xiaolang moved out of the way gracefully and swiftly, in one motion also sweeping Sakura out of the way. Due to the force of the unlanded blow, Meilin fell to the floor with a loud, unladylike grunt.

Though the situation seemed funny, Xiaolang was not smiling. What he had seen so far disturbed him. He played the fool when it suited him, but his powers of perception were superb, and now, they were telling him things that did not suit him.

Observing the events at Shiroihana from his father's mirror, he had seen how Sakura was treated earlier and the night before. He had not expected the normally cold, hostile and aloof Syaoran to react so emotionally to Sakura; in fact he had been prepared for Syaoran to have already staked a claim on the girl.

Surely Syaoran realized who she was, and how significant her powers were? Or was he truly ignorant? Had Xiaolang been in Syaoran's place, he would have quickly welcomed Sakura and wooed her; after all, Syaoran had the advantage of living with her in one keep!

Instead Syaoran was rude and disdainful—yet he could not stand how Xiaolang looked at Sakura, how he touched her. There was much emotion in Syaoran which looked like hatred.

And if there was one thing Xiaolang had learned about emotions and people who handle them badly—of which Syaoran was one—the line between hate and love was too thin for comfort. And he knew that Syaoran, once he lost his heart, would be the kind never to let go.

_Absolutely not, Li,_ he thought. _You will not cross that line; I won't let you. You will not discover your true feelings for her. Wallow in your stupidity a little longer._

He realized he would need to win Sakura over quickly. Xiaolang looked forward to it; she was just so delightful, he mused. That the others were hostile towards her showed their utter imbecility, as far as Xiaolang was concerned. She was special, and Xiaolang smiled when he thought of the rare beauty and innocence that came with her power. How could they not see it?

Certainly Sakura was raw; she needed the ministrations of dressers and groomers, but he prided himself on the ability to see potential in a woman. And he could see that Sakura was going to be a magnificently beautiful woman, given a little time and help.

Unfortunately he suspected his distant cousin subconsciously knew that she was special as well, and was reacting like the adolescent he was. Teenaged boys, Xiaolang knew, tended to react with anger and hate when they did not understand what was before them.

_Syaoran must be separated from Sakura, and soon, _he thought. I must find a way to e_ncourage Syaoran's hatred of her. Never let him realize the truth of what he feels, or it will endanger my plans. He will not take her from me!_

His hands clenched into fists. He would not let Syaoran win over him. Not when what was at stake was the future.

**To be continued in Chapter 5**

* * *

**Notes**: If you were reading carefully, you'll notice a few things that give away Sakura's background (heh heh).

**Question**: Would you like to get to the romance part, or may I outline the training and the development of friendships first? See, I have an entire outline prepared, all the way to the ending (and please understand why there will be a character death or two--but NOT SxS, or I won't have a story!), but if nobody wants to read about the training and development, well...Do let me know? Love and hugs!

Now you know the reason why Eriol, Meilin, and Tomoyo seem to be hostile to Sakura. But the relationships you see in the anime and manga will soon be in place. The meanness is not gratuitous, and will disappear; this is, after all, Sakura!

The hatred between Syaoran and Xiaolang is not exaggerated: think of the unreasonable prejudices we all have against various kinds of people, races, religions, etc. There is no real reason for them to hate each other, but it has become a habit and is something they both fall back on as a matter of principle.

In re Syaoran's reaction, I took this from both the anime and the manga. He was rude, disdainful--and yet he always seemed unable to truly tear himself away from her.

Please don't kill me re Xiaolang. I made a conscious decision not to put in the hatefully obvious characters I see a lot of in other stories who are clearly there to draw the ire of the reader, and who obviously have no other purpose than to be villains. Yes, Xiaolang is very charming, and he genuinely likes Sakura. But remember--this is after all a SxS story, and Sakura, in chapter 1, did confess to Syaoran, NOT Xiaolang. You'll see more as we go along; sorry if the pace is a bit slow, but I want the development of their relationship to be more real--making the confession scene more heart-wrenching for both SxS when it does happen.

So why doesn't Sakura just fall for Xiaolang instead? Because love is never as neat as we want it to be—and besides, don't you have faith in good old Syaoran? (haha!)

* * *

**Review thanks:** Hello everyone! I'm sorry if I seemed desperate last chapter but...it was kind of sobering to get few reviews. However, when I saw how many reviews I do have now...Wow honestly that just inspires me to write! (smile, huggles everyone) **Bayb-Tiger, **aw that's OK, I just thought I'd screwed up big time cause honestly I'd seen badly written stories with more reviews, so I thought something was wrong. I understand, don't worry! **poems2songs**, yep, we're at the start, and since I seem to be on a bit of a roll, looks like updates will be either twice a month or, as it's been so far, weekly :D **beaucoup riant**, hello! would you be offended if I said I wish for more of your story? I know I faved it before I left FFN nearly a year ago, haha! **XxSakura-HimexX**, Yes! But this is Sakura. I am so enjoying rewatching the series to get cues for their behavior, and am mulling crossing over Tsubasa and CCS again. Please don't apologize re reviews; I quite understand, I was just worried I'd done something royally wrong. **Sakiyo-chan**, oh thanks! Yes, SxS time is coming up soon, as you can see, Syaoran is going to try to get close to her now. In re Xiaolang, hm, I think I'll let that unfold ^_^ he DOES like her, though. Haha, I wrote the chapter then saw your comment, LOL, are you in Xiaolang's mindset? (ooh hot) **DN Angel and Cardcaptor Sakura**, Yep! And now you can see why they are the way they are. Hope you enjoy! **Shiona Actiu**, thanks, and if I slip up or get boring, please do let me know, ne? Thanks! **winterkaguya**, LOL but, but I love cliffies! You will see how Syaoran drives her into that corner; I wonder if you guys will accept a scene I planned right before that confession scene, a M-rated scene? I like Xiaolang too, and I'm going to try and make it so hard for Sakura to choose--but as you saw in Ch 1, she chose Syaoran. Now you know why Meilin, Tomoyo and Eriol are the way they are. They will change, if slowly. Haha, aww be nice to Syaoran cos' I'm putting him through hell here...**brokenshadow23**, I'm so sorry...that was inconsiderate of me! Feel free to have Xiaolang or Syaoran punish me. Seriously, I just realize you have the same problem. Yes, I wanted to have Xiaolang be elegant but dangerous, someone you're not sure if you can trust but is just too yummy to resist. Cos' we have a lot of obvious villains anyway, so I wanted him there as a figure who is "Is he a villain?" Haha! Thanks so much. **.lover, **Ooh thank you. Why would I take offense when I like Xiaolang myself? XD And if it doesn't change, I actually think that's a good thing for me, cos' it means something I did worked for you. Hope you continue to enjoy!


	5. Commencement

**Addiction Chapter 5: **

**Commencement**

I don't own the characters, only the plot. Rated T for foul language. May go up to M depending on how this flows. Mild crossover with the use of Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles (TRC) characters. No spoilers for the various twists and the manga ending of Tsubasa (so kindly don't spoil that ending for anyone else if you've read it since all I've done is borrow characters). Xiaolang is modeled physically after the Evil Clone in TRC, but has his own personality here.

**From Chapter 4: **_Syaoran must be separated from Sakura, and soon, Xiaolang thought. I must find a way to encourage Syaoran's hatred of her. Never let him realize the truth of what he feels, or it will endanger my plans. He will not take her from me!_

_His hands clenched into fists. He would not let Syaoran win over him. Not when what was at stake was the future._

* * *

Once Xiaolang Reed left, everyone turned to Sakura, and she prepared for the onslaught. Given how Syaoran, Meilin, and Eriol were glaring at her, she braced herself for the worst.

"You little moron!" Syaoran roared. "Do you realize what you've done?" He advanced on her, clearly furious. "Now we owe him! Now we…God damn it all to hell!" He turned away, walking off a few meters in hopes of calming himself.

Sakura shrank into herself. "I'm sorry… I didn't know…" She still didn't know what she had done wrong, for that matter.

"You didn't know." Eriol chuckled softly. "Tell me, Sakura-**sama**," and he stressed the last word hard and mockingly, "how much don't you know about your situation? How little do you know? Would it even fill an ewer of water?"

Meilin and Eriol were crowding Sakura into the wall, and Sakura was getting scared.

Tomoyo could read the expression on Sakura's face, but when she reached forward to stop the others, Meilin turned a frustrated, angry, sad, yet pleading expression on her. And so Tomoyo shrank back, though she felt what they were doing to Sakura was wrong. She could see Syaoran breathing hard as he faced the wall, attempting to calm himself.

"Uh… I know that Li Sh-Syaoran-s-sama is descended from the Eastern half of the Clow line… "

Syaoran snorted and spoke without turning around. "She calls me 'Lord.' Pathetic."

"What did Xiaolang whisper to you?" Meilin asked angrily. "Do you know that he's our enemy?"

_Well he's certainly nicer than all of you!_ Sakura wailed in her mind. Outwardly she shook her head.

"He just told me how to use the Key…" she said.

"And that is how?" Meilin's eyes narrowed.

Instinct told Sakura not to tell Meilin the whole story. "I say 'Release' and call the card…" Sakura stammered.

"Good." With one swift motion Meilin yanked the chain with the Key off Sakura and called, "Release!"

Nothing happened.

She tried it again.

Still nothing.

"You lied!" Meilin furiously shoved Sakura against the wall. "This is garbage! As to be expected of a Reed in league with a guttersnipe like you!" She pulled her hand back, clearly intending to throw the Key away.

"No!" Sakura grabbed Meilin's hand. "Please, give it back!"

"Oh, you want it back?" Meilin sneered as she held the Key up; she was taller than Sakura, who was forced to tiptoe, then jump to try and get it back. "Try and get it first!"

Syaoran knew what Meilin was doing was bullying, and that he should stop her, but he could not understand why Sakura aroused such strange feelings in him. Part of him wanted to scream at her and shake her for being so clueless; another part wanted to comfort her and stop Meilin; still another part was frozen where he was, hoping someone else would just end all this, wishing Sakura had never come to Shiroihana.

Eriol stood back, laughing cruelly at Sakura's predicament. Tomoyo watched him, discomfited by the behavior he was exhibiting. He was normally calm and collected, and his descent into boorish behavior bothered her.

"Please!" Sakura was almost in tears now. "Please give it back, Meilin-san!"

"And who said you could use my name?" Meilin snarled. Something in her was roaring like an angry beast, egging her on, telling her to make Sakura cry, to keep going with tormenting the smaller girl. At the back of her mind she knew she should not be acting this way—but the sane part of Meilin could not prevail over the angry, jealous beast which had taken over.

A glint of gold sailed through the air; Meilin had thrown the Key, hard, and it landed several meters outside the academy gates.

"Go on, go get it!" Meilin said as Sakura ran for it. She laughed gleefully.

Then, as soon as Sakura was outside the gates, she screamed, "Hurry, help me!" as she began to push the heavy courtyard gates closed. Eriol helped her, putting his shoulder to it.

Tomoyo turned her gaze on Syaoran. Emotions warred on his face; if Syaoran had a weakness, it was that he could never really hide what he was thinking to a good observer—and she was one of them.

He could not understand why he felt a surge of anger towards Meilin and Eriol. They were his friends, right? But then the treatment of Sakura wasn't right. Should they be stooping to such lows? He clenched his fists, warring with himself. _She's an idiot. Let them be_, whispered on voice in his head.

The other voice sneered, _You were brought up better than this. Do you really want her to think Xiaolang is nicer than you?_

Syaoran suddenly bolted; he began taking the stairs leading to the guard post above the gate two at a time.

"Where the hell are you going?" Meilin screamed at Syaoran. But then she saw Sakura kneel to the ground, frantically searching for the Key. It gave her a vicious satisfaction to see her rival that way, panicky and close to tears.

Sakura heard the gates moving behind her, and looked up just in time to see Meilin laughing right before the gates boomed shut.

"Go back to the garbage you came from!" Meilin yelled. "And don't come back!"

Sakura frantically patted the grass, parting tufts of it in her search. Where was the Key? She could not find it, and all the while, in her ears rang with Meilin's taunts, _Go back to the garbage you came from. Don't come back!_

Certainly Sakura had encountered her share of nobles, and was used to their sneering treatment. Her father Fujitaka had displayed courtly manners, and taught her and her brother Touya how to read and write, never revealing how he, supposedly a commoner, knew all this. She and Touya had grown up humble and happy; Sakura had always known kindness from her father, and loving playful teasing from her brother. Very little in her past and current life prepared her for such hostility, and even the most cheerful and optimistic of people would crumble under the treatment she was receiving.

After a while, she gave up searching the grass for the Key and began to cry. The academy was horrible. Nobody liked her. The pent-up fear and frustration of the past few weeks was catching up with her, and she cried hard, sobbing into herself.

Then she felt a disturbance in the wind. She looked up to see Syaoran outside the gate, lowered slowly to the ground by a breeze. He looked at her for a long time, an unreadable expression on his handsome face.

Even with tears on her face, she was beautiful, Syaoran realized. She'd been bathed and cleaned up earlier, and now, he wanted to… _No, stupid! _he scolded himself.

Surprised, she stared back. He seemed to be debating with himself, then his face hardened as he reached a decision. He closed his eyes then cast a spell.

A glow radiated from an area several feet to her left, and Syaoran walked towards the glow. Stooping, he retrieved the Key as Sakura gasped.

Syaoran wasn't sure why he was doing what he just did. _She's an idiot, right? Why am I helping her?_ _Oh yeah, to get her favor. So she'll trust me. Yes, that's it. I'm going to punish her for everything…right?_

She had stolen his destiny from him. She had waltzed into their academy and released the Cards and had been declared Card Mistress just _like that_. And there he was, helpless to do anything but accept that fact. He'd trained from the age of three, beginning with martial arts, moving on to potions and sword fighting at five, and entering the Academy at the age of seven. He knew no other life than to be a magical warrior.

So why did his throat constrict at the sight of Sakura's tears?

If he had more experience, he would have realized that she affected him differently. He'd always been awkward around girls, something Xiaolang delighted in rubbing his nose in. He'd always been the one seduced when women bedded him; he'd lost his virginity at the age of fifteen to a gorgeous older student at the academy. Had he known the girl had also bedded Xiaolang, he would have refused. But what teenaged boy could refuse such an offer from a beautiful girl?

His past relationships had not been about love; it had always been simply about sexual release. Young men in his position easily got the favors of girls who wished to be able to brag that they had bedded a young lord-to-be; it was a quick route to security, even if they only became concubines. And the practice was tacitly accepted in his social class; it was considered somewhat shameful for a young noble male to come to his wedding bed without enough experience to please his wife.

Syaoran had enjoyed what girls had freely offered him, but the night Meilin had appeared in his chambers, naked on his bed, he was offended. He cared for his cousin, but not that way…and she could not seem to understand. Her chasing him merely irritated him. He had tried explaining to her that he did not see her that way, that he cared about her but not as a future wife. These days, he was no longer required to marry for duty, and he was determined to marry someone he chose, someone he respected and cared for.

Though he was eighteen, two years past marriageable age already, he hadn't found her yet, but deep inside he believed he would find a girl like that. Meilin amused and irritated him by turns; the girls he'd bedded aroused and satisfied him. He was happy, wasn't he?

Sakura, though, got under his skin; he was curious to know what she thought, how she saw the world, and why she irritated him yet made him feel towards her. He told himself he was curious because he didn't like her, and he merely needed to get to know her to confirm his dislike. But at the same time, the memory of Xiaolang's eyes crawling over Sakura's body infuriated him. He wanted to punish her, to tell her she was stupid, to get her out of his life…and yet the moment she had been locked out of the Academy, he'd gone to her side.

Why? He didn't particularly care to think on it at the moment; Syaoran tended to do things before he understood himself—often to his detriment afterwards.

And now… He tightened his grip on the Key.

"Stupid girl," he said, but without heat as he walked towards Sakura. He handed her the Key then stood there, looking somewhat unsure of himself.

"I… Thank you," Sakura said, surprised and taken aback. She had not been expecting anyone to help her, and yet this gruff boy had come out of the academy and found the Key for her. She looked up at Syaoran, who was determinedly looking away from her. "Thank you for helping me, Li-sama."

He swallowed, then said as arrogantly as he could, with nose in the air, "I didn't help you. I just… the Key… It shouldn't be lying around."

She looked at him and suppressed a smile; he reminded her of her brother Touya, who tended to pretend to be gruff and uncaring because he disliked people realizing he was a nice person. Oh how she missed him and her father!

Sakura stood up and dried her tears, then she tried to put on the chain; still sniffling, she tangled the chain in her hair clumsily.

Syaoran stared at her. _What a stupid girl,_ he thought. But he reached out and untangled the chain from her hair, then let it slide down to her neck.

She turned and looked up at him; Syaoran was a good head taller than her. "Thank you again. Um, how did you do that? Find the Key, I mean?"

"Just… a locating spell," he said, still not looking at her.

"Wow," Sakura said. "You really know magic."

Defensive, Syaoran turned to look at her; was she making fun of him because she was the Card Mistress? But looking into her wide green eyes, he realized that she wasn't mocking him; she even seemed a little envious that he was that much in control of his powers at his young age. He almost preened, but managed to stop himself.

"Simple spell. You'll learn it in your first few classes," Syaoran shrugged, looking away again.

Yet again Sakura was reminded of Touya; this time, she giggled, as Touya had a habit of looking away when he'd been embarrassed.

"You're very good," she said admiringly. "I wish I could really do magic…But I haven't trained like you. You make it look so easy."

He was not good at accepting compliments, so he grunted and began to trudge back to the gates. To his surprise, he heard Sakura move in the opposite direction. He turned and confirmed what he'd heard.

"Oi! Where are you going?" Syaoran called.

Sakura turned around as he walked towards her.

"I… I don't know," she said, her voice wavering. "But thank you again, Li-sama, for finding and returning the Key to me."

"And where are you going?" Syaoran repeated.

"I… don't know. But," and she smiled, "I'll be all right, I think."

"No you won't!" Syaoran walked swiftly back to her. "Stupid! You can't leave the academy. Do you have any idea what will happen once you activate the Key? The Cards will be attracted to you, and they will attack you because you have to best them to be their master. Do you really think you can do it alone, without the training and protection the academy will give you? You have to stay at the academy; it's part of your contract, remember? Don't be an idiot! That's sixteen cards to fight alone!"

"I…" Sakura's eyes faltered, and she looked down. "I don't know if I can go back there," she whispered. "I'm sorry; please forgive my weakness." She turned her back on him to hide the tears he saw brimming in her eyes.

"Look… I…" _Damn it_, Syaoran thought. He had never been good with crying girls; he never knew what to do with them. "Don't cry," he said roughly.

"You and Mizuki-sensei are the only ones who've shown me niceness," Sakura sniffled. "I can't stay there. Nobody wants me there. And I… I don't know if I really deserve to be Card Mistress." She wiped her eyes on her sleeve and slowly began to walk away.

"Look, I…" What? What could he say? All Syaoran could do was walk after her and put a hand on her shoulder to stop her. "You're wrong."

"I don't know about that. But thank you, Li-sama," Sakura managed a smile amid her tears. "Thank you for finding the Key for me. And for being kind."

Syaoran sighed. "Listen, I…" He swallowed nervously. The thought occurred to him that Sakura was the Card Mistress, and those who helped her would be rewarded. She could be the key to finally bringing down the Reeds and elevating the Lis over them once and for all. He quickly decided that he would be nice to her for that reason.

_And that reason alone, _he told himself firmly.

"Look… I can… help you. With… with the Cards…"

"You would, Li-sama?" Sakura's eyes widened. "But why would you want to help someone like me?"

"You're the Card Mistress," he said quietly. "I… it would be a privilege." And a missed opportunity if he didn't. Here was a chance to finally go one up on the damned Reeds!

He was unprepared when Sakura threw her arms around one of his arms and hugged it. "Oh thank you, Li-sama! It would be just… I can't believe…"

"Don't cry again!" Syaoran held up one hand; he was astounded at how easily she showed her emotions. He disliked showing his own; he felt it was a weakness. But here she was, so easy to read. "Just… don't cry, all right?"

Sakura let go of his arm.

"Look… you can…" he began. _Meilin is never going to forgive me for this,_ he thought wryly; he was about to grant someone else the privilege of using his name. _She probably won't speak to me for a month._

But the idea of her not speaking to him appealed to Syaoran, and so he said, "You can just call me Syaoran."

Sakura drew back. "Oh no, Li-sama, I couldn't possibly… I don't have the right!"

"Just do it. All this 'Li-sama' bothers me, since you're not a servant anyway," Syaoran said roughly. "All right?"

"Uh…Okay, but only if you're sure, Li-sa…"

Syaoran raised an eyebrow, his amber eyes seeming to twinkle with the motion.

_Is he being playful?_ Sakura smiled; she was liking him more and more. "I mean, Syaoran-sama."

"Just drop the –sama," Syaoran rolled his eyes. "Okay?"

"Okay." Sakura smiled, and dried her tears. "Thank you."

"You can stop thanking me too," Syaoran said, a tiny smile quirking one end of his lips.

"Okay."

"Now come on, let's get back to Shiroihana." Syaoran turned and began to walk swiftly back to the academy, Sakura following at his heels.

_I think I like him, _Sakura smiled to herself. She wanted to get to know him. Maybe staying at Shiroihana, if it meant having Syaoran near her, wouldn't be so bad after all.

* * *

"Did you see her? She cried just like that!" Meilin gloated. "What a weakling!"

"As to be expected," Eriol said.

"And you didn't help at all," Meilin rounded on Tomoyo. "Aren't you my friend? Where's Syaoran? That jerk! How could he just run away when we were busy?" she ranted.

Tomoyo looked away just as Eriol raised his head.

"Uh oh," was all he got out before Meilin was thrown against the gates; a mighty flapping of wings pushed Eriol aside.

Yue looked at the two, and made a gesture with one hand. They stiffened like boards, and ropes shot out to bind them.

"I expected better of you," he said coldly to Eriol. "Your envy is patently obvious, and it does not suit one of your talents and brain. Your efforts would be better spent trying to help the girl."

He turned to Meilin. "Your jealousy will be the ruin of us all," he said quietly. He bent to speak in Meilin's ear. "Is it love, truly, when it is one-sided and forced on the other party? Or is it mere selfishness?" She gasped; how dare he?

"And you did nothing to stop them," Yue said witheringly at Tomoyo, who fidgeted in embarrassment. "That's almost as good as helping them."

With a gesture, Yue flung the gates open. Syaoran was walking swiftly back to the academy, and trotting after him was Sakura.

"You…" Meilin struggled against her bonds. "Syaoran, how could you! Why are you with her? Did you follow her outside?"

Syaoran ignored her and walked past all of them towards the main building. Meilin's eyes filled with tears.

"Answer me!" she screamed at his retreating back.

He never even turned around.

Meanwhile, Yue flew over to Sakura.

"Card Mistress," he said softly, "my apologies for those baboon-brains. My name is Yue, and I am one of your teachers. Are you all right?"

Sakura bowed. "I'm okay," she said quietly. "But I don't think they want me here. They…"

"Are ignorant idiots," Yue said disdainfully. "I shall deal with them." He snapped his fingers, and Eriol and Meilin disappeared. "The Princess Tomoyo will show you around. We'll commence lessons tomorrow, after the young master Reed teaches you how to use the Key. What did Syaoran do to you?"

"He… He came out and helped me find the Key," she said. "And he promised to help me with the Cards."

Yue nodded in satisfaction, and Tomoyo let out a tiny gasp. Syaoran, helping Sakura of his own accord? Since when had Li begun acting nice to her? She looked in the direction he had disappeared in, then turned to look at Sakura again.

If this girl could make Syaoran help her without even trying, then perhaps there was something more to her than what met the eye.

Yue was giving instructions to Sakura on the progress of her lessons, which would start the next day. He did not seem to be disturbed by the notion of Xiaolang's presence and his offer to help train Sakura as the others had, merely nodding.

"In that case I suppose Cerberus will come with the Reed heir at some point. Interesting," Yue mused. "I have always wondered what the Sun guardian is like. I have never met him."

"Does this have something to do with the splitting of Clow Reed's line?" Sakura asked curiously.

"Yes. It has been forbidden for me to interact with Cerberus, the ban lifting only for this circumstance of your arrival," Yue said. "Interesting indeed." He then clapped his hands once. "But I tarry. The Princess will show you around so you'll know how to get to your lessons tomorrow. I shall deal with the two miscreants now."

Sakura stood there uncertainly as he flew back inside. The girl Yue had indicated, Princess Tomoyo, looked at Sakura, who felt uncertain under her stare. Princess Tomoyo was very beautiful, with pale, almost translucent skin, long curling dark hair, large violet eyes, and a gentle expression on her face. Sakura felt she had no right to even look such royalty in the eye.

Sakura bowed. "I am sorry for inconveniencing you, Princess."

"Oh no," Tomoyo shook her head. "At the academy I'm just… a student. Just call me Tomoyo."

"Uh…" Sakura wasn't sure what to say, and fidgeted.

"Come with me," Tomoyo said softly. "I apologize for letting them do that. I should have stopped them."

"Oh, no, please… really, it's okay…" Sakura drew back, terrified at offending someone else.

Tomoyo looked at her carefully. She was ashamed at how easily her hostility had been riled, but Eriol, Meilin, and Syaoran were her friends, and she knew few others. And she felt for Meilin, because Meilin had confided in her the prophecy of the Card Mistress who would marry one of the Clow line. Meilin was terrified that it was Syaoran who would become Sakura's lover.

"Just come with me, and I'll show you how to get around. All right? And please accept my apologies. As Yue said, doing nothing was just like siding with them."

"O-okay," Sakura said.

They spent the afternoon going around the large academy, pausing for lunch, Syaoran did not turn up for the meal, and Sakura hid her disappointment. Afterwards, Tomoyo pointed out various buildings and explained what they were for. She ignored the servants, but Sakura smiled at them, and after some hesitation, they smiled back at her. She introduced herself in a friendly fashion, and her smiles soon won over much of the staff.

Tomoyo watched her, and felt her heart beginning to thaw. _She is a good person,_ she thought. _If only… if only things weren't so complicated!_

* * *

The morning of Sakura's first lesson dawned clear and balmy.

"HOE!" Sakura yelled as the first rays of the sun penetrated her chamber. She had slept well in her nice bed, and since she'd had her first warm bath in weeks, it was doubly pleasurable.

But according to her schedule, she was supposed to meet Xiaolang in the large field just outside the academy; he was to teach her to use and seal the Cards and help her summon the staff for the first time. She washed up quickly struggled into the training gi provided to her, and raced outside.

She soon learned that none of the other students wanted to have to deal with Xiaolang. As a result they were not there when she finally discovered the true form of the Key: a sealing rod of pink, with a winged head. Whimsically, she thought it was cute.

What neither she nor Xiaolang knew was that Syaoran, concealed in a tree, was watching them. He was uneasy about the prospect of Xiaolang alone with Sakura, and had cast a shielding spell to prevent his presence from being detected. He'd also cast another spell to allow him to hear what they were saying.

So far nothing untoward had happened. Sakura had summoned the Key, then she'd learned how to unsummon it.

Thus began the lessons on sealing a card.

"Now that you've used the Key and turned it into the sealing staff, I imagine it won't be long before the Cards show up to challenge you," Xiaolang said. "You need to weaken a card by either attacking or exhausting it, then you raise the staff and say, 'Return to your true form, Clow Card!' Let's try it on the card you have."

"Oh, yes," Sakura fumbled with her inner pockets, then drew out Windy.

"Remember, right now I can help you. We'll have to hurry and capture other Cards with attack magic so that you won't have to rely on me to catch and seal all of them. Not that I don't think you're capable," and Xiaolang smiled. "It's just that the other idiots in the academy aren't likely to help you. Syaoran, for one, might use the cover of a Clow Card attack to try and steal the Key from you."

Syaoran stiffened, almost jumping out of the tree to avenge the slight to his honor. _That prick!_

But he controlled himself just as Sakura frowned. "He's not like that at all," she said. "He was very nice to me yesterday, though he didn't have to be."

"Really now." Xiaolang rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "It must be… He just wants something," Xiaolang said slowly. "Don't trust him. He'll use you and then once he's got what he wants, he'll drop you."

"Thank you for your concern, but I think I can judge for myself," Sakura said quietly. "I like him, and I like you. Just leave me out of your petty rivalry."

Syaoran almost gasped. Sakura was capable of having a backbone after all. How so very interesting. He smirked when he noticed Xiaolang was frowning.

"All the same, don't give your trust too easily, Sakura-chan," Xiaolang said. "It would grieve me if you were hurt."

Sakura looked at him. "And why would that be so, Xiaolang-san?"

He smiled. "Because… I like you." He placed a hand gently on her arm.

She blushed. "Uh… the stance…" She looked away, raising the Clow Card and stepping away from Xiaolang. "I call its name, right?"

Her attempt to change the topic was futile; Xiaolang followed her and stepped in front of her.

"Sakura-chan," he began, looking into her eyes. "You are beautiful." He touched the hair at the side of her face. "I did not mean to drag you into what you think is a petty rivalry. It's a feud that has stretched for years. I just," and he dropped his hand, "I just don't want to see you hurt. That's all."

_That bastard!_ Syaoran almost cried out. _Don't listen to him! He's the one who's most likely to use you! _

Convenientlyhe had forgotten his earlier vow to use Sakura against the Reeds.

Xiaolang stood looking at Sakura for a while, both their cheeks red with embarrassment, then Xiaolang broke their gaze just at the point where Syaoran was almost ready to drop from the tree and dash between them.

"You use this stance when you want to fight with magic," Xiaolang said, posing himself. Sakura tried to follow him, but she held her legs wrong. He bent down and moved her legs into the correct positions, causing Sakura to blush.

"You smell nice," Xiaolang said quietly.

"Uh… Thanks…" Sakura said uncertainly.

He straightened up just as Sakura looked down; their noses collided.

"Hoe! I am so sorry, Xiaolang-san!"

"No, no," Xiaolang laughed. "It was my carelessness. Forgive me." Then he kissed her hand, making her blush.

Syaoran felt his ears burn. _How dare he! Was he going to seduce Sakura for his purposes?_

Sakura herself was not sure what to make of Xiaolang, in truth. He came on to her rather aggressively, and was making advances she wasn't sure she liked. But because he resembled Syaoran, she got a thrill from his attentions.

_I wish my brother was here. I could ask his advice, _she thought. _Because I think I like Syaoran._

_Syaoran. _Sakura almost sighed. Why couldn't she have just gotten a crush on Xiaolang, who seemed eager to be with her? Syaoran was kind but distant and gruff, and she wasn't sure she could figure him out. He and the others had not been in the dining hall earlier, and she missed the little lurch her heart gave whenever he was around.

She wondered where he was. Did he hate her? But he'd been so uncertain, so unsure of himself, and the others had been so angry when he had helped her.

Maybe… just maybe she might see him later. Sakura perked up and without knowing it, smiled to herself.

_Damn it,_ Xiaolang thought as he watched Sakura. She was not warming up to him; his favorite seduction techniques were being ignored. And from the expression on her face, she was thinking of that damned Syaoran!

Fine. He could play it cool.

"All right. Let's do this. " He then taught her how to cast the lone Clow Card she had. Windy swiftly attempted to escape, but Xiaolang brought it down with his own wind spirit, explaining the capture process to Sakura.

"Now use the stance I taught you and say, 'Return to your rightful form, Clow Card!' If it's been sufficiently weakened, it will dissolve into a card and float towards the person who contributed the most to its capture."

Sakura obeyed him, and when the Card was sealed, it floated over to Xiaolang.

"Oh, I see," Sakura said.

Xiaolang returned the Card to her without comment, resisting the urge to kiss her hand. "Now you must learn how to use the Card. First, write your name on it with this quill—yes, like that. Then raise the staff and call out its name, then tell it what you want it to do. It's fueled by your will, mind you, so if you falter, it may dispel or turn back into a Card."

Sakura called Windy, and then Xiaolang led her through attacks, defenses, and simple commands. He sometimes would come up behind her and touch her, and once, he moved his face close to hers as though he were going to kiss her. Syaoran noted with satisfaction that she tended to move away, clearly a bit uncomfortable with Xiaolang's sexual aggressiveness.

_Serves the bastard right, _Syaoran smirked.

As the morning wore on, Sakura, to Syaoran's surprise, learned quickly, and soon, as the sun crept higher in the sky, she was learning how to duel Xiaolang with magic.

"Release!" Sakura cried, and her Key became a lovely little pink staff. "Windy!" she called next, and the Clow Card in her hand became a beautiful woman of air.

"Now command it," Xiaolang said as he stood ten feet away from her, his stance quiet and calm, "to attack me, just as we discussed."

"Windy! Become the chains that bind!" Sakura commanded, and she stood in the ready stance she had been taught.

Xiaolang raised the index and middle fingers of his left hand, and another wind spirit, a male, sprung up to battle Sakura's Windy. Her brow furrowing in concentration, Sakura clung to the staff harder.

Two wind spirits clashed; Sakura's and Xiaolang's robes fluttered in the mighty gale that resulted. Syaoran was astounded; he had needed days to master the wind spell, and here was Sakura battling Xiaolang, almost to a standstill, on her first day!

Something had to give, though, and it was Sakura, who felt the magic drain her energies. Unused to the sensation, she gasped, lost hold of her staff, then collapsed to the ground, confused. Windy dissolved, and Xiaolang's wind spirit stopped attacking.

"What… But why?" she whispered before she fainted due to the drain on her energies.

"Sakura!" Xiaolang dispelled his wind spirit with a gesture, and ran to her side. "Damn it, I should have warned her!" He smoothed hair back from her face, then, unable to resist, he quickly pressed his lips to her forehead.

Syaoran almost cried out. _That bastard! Taking advantage of Sakura when she was out cold!_

But then he realized Xiaolang could only take Sakura back to the academy, and so he swiftly cast a wind spell to quickly bring him back inside. He would wait for them there.

Xiaolang cradled Sakura gently, then turned to pick up the sealing rod, which had not turned back into the Key. Carefully balancing Sakura in his arms, he cast another spell to carry him into the courtyard of the academy.

He frowned when he saw Syaoran waiting there.

"Reed. You appear to have exhausted the Card Mistress. How… cruel of you," he said quietly.

"My apologies. I overestimated her limits. She is a quick study, and quite powerful. We've already covered dueling." Xiaolang looked Syaoran over. Something told him Syaoran was hiding something, though he wasn't sure what it was.

Syaoran fought the urge to say "I know," and instead tried to take Sakura from Xiaolang's arms. "I'll take it from here. You can leave," he said disdainfully.

"I want to make sure she's all right," Xiaolang refused to relinquish his hold.

"I said, I'll take care of her," Syaoran said in a menacing tone. "Besides, you can't enter without an invitation. Are you going to leave her in the courtyard?"

"I wouldn't dream of doing so. Unlike you, cousin, I know how to take care of a woman," Xiaolang retorted.

_They're like two dogs with a bone, _Meilin thought ruefully as she watched from the alcove where she was hidden. She clenched her fists. Only two days and Sakura already had the two Clow descendants fighting over her!

Why didn't Syaoran just leave Sakura to Xiaolang? What was the point? Why was Syaoran joining the fight at all? Maybe he was after prestige? Maybe he wanted to beat Xiaolang?

She knew she was trying to rationalize, and she did not feel the lone tear that slipped out of her eye. Two days. Two damned days and Syaoran was already being protective of that girl. She'd been at the academy four years and nothing! She practically had to beg him to be nice to her!

_I refuse to bow to the will of destiny, _Meilin thought as she tilted her chin up. Xiaolang had by then reluctantly relinquished Sakura to Syaoran, who then carried her towards Yue's quarters.

She wanted to run to Syaoran and tell him to drop Sakura, but there were more urgent things to do. Slipping a cloak with a hood on, she hurried out the gates after Xiaolang.

**To be continued in Chapter 6  
**

* * *

**Notes: **A double-length chapter; I thought of posting these separately, but since I was out for more than two weeks (my job takes me around my country, often to places without internet, ugh) I decided to just post two chapters as one. Hope that's OK by you guys.

Re names: Syaoran never calls Sakura by name in the series until he's ready to admit to his love for her; mostly he calls her "You" or "Idiot." But here he has a reason to try and get closer to her. Currently he's still warring with himself; part of him is intrigued by her and the other part thinks he can use her for his purposes.

I know Xiaolang is very nice and charming but I promised myself I would not go the obvious "hate the other guy" route. And as you can see, Meilin has a powerful incentive for why she is acting the way she is. Remember though that later on in the series Sakura saves and helps her, eventually winning her over. Poor Meilin is going to regret her actions—just as she does in the series, so remember what she did there to try and make amends later on. Plus, she's in love and has been rejected. It can't be easy…

Syaoran in a tree watching Sakura: hehe, third season of anime!

Thank you for the reviews! Oh my, there were a lot (for me) and I feel so happy! **winterkaguya** _(LOL, don't worry, remember Syaoran was a jerk in the anime at the beginning, and showed his true lovableness later. Xiaolang in all honesty is a man with good intentions--but remember, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. He does like Sakura but...well, you'll see. Wow, you noticed the sins I was showing in the other 3? You've always been such a great reader! Re Sonomi- SHH! hehe please pretend you didn't notice that. I've actually written out the scene where Syaoran and Sakura have a turning point in their relationship AFTER his rejection...it is bittersweet. Hey, give Syaoran a chance, he's nicer now)_, **poems2songs** _(Shh! Hehe you guys are very sharp, it's great when readers catch little clues. I made a difficult decision to slow things down in my chapters, and yes, the aftermath is much closer than you think. Thanks for understanding my situation!)_, **Shiona Acitiu** _(Noonie-noo, I think you know the answer. Here's my inspiration for their situation: Ever notice how we usually overlook the one who loves us and pine for the one who doesn't then when you lose the first guy, you're sad? Ooh that hurts. Here's the thing: I have scenes written out, and I have the ending. What is hard to fill in is the development. Sigh)_, **Xx-Sakura-HimexX** _(Yay! hugs and glomps you. Thank you for that. Syaoran is about 90 percent as dense as Sakura so...As you can see in this chapter, the poor boy is still not figuring it out. In the anime it's Tomoyo and Eriol who prod him to discover his feelings, along with Meilin later on. I intend to stick to that but as always, there will be misunderstandings and confusion. When two people are too shy to communicate, they end up hurting each other without meaning to--and as you saw in ch 1, it WILL happen here. I DELIBERATELY made it hard to choose between the two guys. In truth Xiaolang is sort of like a more aggressive, sexy TRC Syaoran-Clone. Yes Xiaolang is bad in the sense that he can be ruthless in getting what he wants--and Meilin is playing into his hands.),_** 3 (heart-I can't get the rest to display!)** _(here's the next chapter; do let me know if you like it, thanks!),_ **DN Angel and Cardcaptor Sakura** _(Yes, you're very right there. Xiaolang likes Sakura, but right now it's more of lust than love. Love comes later on. As for Syaoran, he has to figure himself out first),_ **brokenshadow23** _(oh thank you! But, but, they can punish me anytime XD A girl can dream. Yes, the picture slowly gets clearer, and I would like to think that by the end of this story you will feel sorry for everyone. I hope I achieve that. LOL yes, am fixing what I have for my other stories and I hope to post them en masse--crosses fingers--during the Christmas break. Wish me luck!),_ **BellaBirdofEdward **_(No, don't worry I do not think constructive criticism is a flame. Like I said earlier, I decided to take this slow. I know what you mean re Xiaolang and Syaoran, and I was hoping that the reader could decide for herself who she liked better, making it more painful when Sakura is forced to choose later on. yes, I want you to end up feeling sorry for everyone. I'll try my best re the pace, okay? Thanks!), _**Avalon's Angel** _(oh, thank you! Please do let me know if you are confused or curious about something; I will gladly consider that in my drafts), _**Jynx **_(LOL that made me laugh. Please let me know what you like and what you don't so I can improve? In return, I'll give you more!),_ **xicekiss** _(thank you! And thanks for thanking me; every review is a blessing!),_ and **lil ramen lover** _(I had to laugh! Yes, I like him; he sort of acts independently when I write, does that make sense? I actually agree with you in that when Syaoran betrays her, he lets pride come before love. He has to learn to lower his pride--and believe me, he WILL. Xiaolang also needs to learn that lesson, incidentally, as you see in this chapter. I am so glad to hear you love and hate them; I hope you end up pitying them to some extent later on. They all need each other, you are so right there. Yes, Tomoyo will be the first to realize things--as always,and Sakura will pay a heavy price for her innocence later on. Poor thing. And I'll pass on your cheer to her XD)_


	6. Turning Points

**Addiction Chapter 6: Turning Points**

First off I would like to thank **MikoKagome1113** for graciously agreeing to beta this and future chapters (hugs). Thank you! Next, since I'll be updating slower now, the chapters will be a bit longer (yay!) Finally, leave me a nice shiny review please? Thank you!

I don't own the characters, only the plot. Rated T for foul language. May go up to M depending on how this flows. Mild crossover with the use of Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles (TRC) characters. No spoilers for the various twists and the manga ending of Tsubasa (so kindly don't spoil that ending for anyone else if you've read it since all I've done is borrow characters). Xiaolang is modeled physically after the Evil Clone in TRC, but has his own personality here.

**From Chapter 5: **

_Why didn't Syaoran just leave Sakura to Xiaolang? What was the point? Why was Syaoran joining the fight at all? Maybe he was after prestige? Maybe he wanted to beat Xiaolang?_

_She knew she was trying to rationalize, and she did not feel the lone tear that slipped out of her eye. Two days. Two damned days and Syaoran was already being protective of that girl. She'd been at the academy four years and nothing! She practically had to beg him to be nice to her!_

I refuse to bow to the will of destiny, _Meilin thought as she tilted her chin up. Xiaolang had by then reluctantly relinquished Sakura to Syaoran, who then carried her towards Yue's quarters._

_She wanted to run to Syaoran and tell him to drop Sakura, but there were more urgent things to do. Slipping a cloak with a hood on, she hurried out the gates after Xiaolang._

* * *

Xiaolang Reed was walking away from Shiroihana Academy, enjoying the sun on his face and body, calming himself after a rather nasty scene with Syaoran. Kaho Mizuki had arrived, ending the argument with Syaoran over Sakura, and taken the girl to the infirmary herself. A few more subtle taunts from him, and glares from Syaoran, he left an annoyed Li behind.

Later he would regret not having cast a wind spell to bring him back to Kuroyama, for dallying on his way. He was walking along the path, admiring the last summer flowers in bloom, when he stopped, turned, then practically flew to grab someone several feet behind him.

"H-how did y-you know I w-was there?" Meilin struggled to speak as he had her by the throat. She flailed, and Xiaolang caught a whiff of something magical from her. Since he knew she was nonmagical, he realized she might be carrying something he might not want to touch.

Had he listened more to his instincts, he would have fled as soon as he sensed her.

"You may be stealthy on your feet but there is no way for you to conceal your aura, not without magic," he said pleasantly as he let her go. "Now. What mischief do you want me to do on your behalf? Allow me to warn you that there is a price."

Meilin raised her eyebrows. "How would you know what I want you to do, if it would be mischief?"

"You came armed with an artifact that reeks of magic. That you have no pouch on you means it's under your cloak, on your person. Probably a scroll or talisman. You probably intend to bribe me with it—or maybe threaten me." He smiled. "Finally, it takes no great leap of intuition to see how you detest Sakura. Your jealousy is far too obvious for a girl of your station. Perhaps you should learn how to calm down. Your temper will be your downfall—and if you're not careful, that of others as well."

Right on all counts, Meilin thought, embarrassed. But she protested, "I'm **not** jealous."

"No?" Xiaolang looked straight into her eyes, one brow raised; his mismatched gaze unsettled her.

Though he had been warned though to watch out for danger coming from Meilin, Xiaolang felt he was reasonably on his guard. Besides, against his better judgment, he felt sorry for the girl. He understood that her temper and rudeness were meant to conceal a broken heart.

"Why don't you go for some other man? You are beautiful, and I am sure there are many boys who would want you," he said soothingly. "You might tell yourself that Syaoran is all you want right now. But if there's something I've learned about love and women, it's that it is never the end of the world if the one you want doesn't want you."

"How dare you!" Meilin had been lulled by his kindness, but now… how could he remind her of such things? It strengthened her resolve to do what she had impulsively planned the other night, with the item she had stolen and hidden on her last visit home. Elite students' chambers were rarely searched, and if Kaho or Yue had sensed what Meilin was hiding, she would have been expelled immediately.

Watching as Meilin seethed quietly, Xiaolang wondered, would she try to seduce him to get her way? Xiaolang almost laughed. Never, not unless Meilin could change her form into Sakura's. More likely she would try to bribe him with the magical artifact she was carrying, whatever it was. He could not get a fix on the magical signature because it was muted by some cloth Meilin had wrapped around it.

That he had let his guard down and saw no threat from Meilin did no credit to Xiaolang's talents and training.

"I am not jealous of that girl," Meilin said. "Why won't you believe me?"

"Whatever floats your raft," Xiaolang shrugged. He walked to a tree stump and sat down, gesturing at a fallen log some ways across it. "I don't like it when you have plans involving her. Let's talk. I might just do what you want if it means you leave Sakura alone."

Meilin took a deep breath. She knew what she was about to do was a terrible thing, but… _If it means I save my relationship, my future with Syaoran…_ She straightened her shoulders.

Xiaolang watched her warily. She had the air of someone who had made bad decisions.

"I need you to s-sed…" No. Meilin could not bring herself to ask Xiaolang to do what amounted in the end to a crime. "I want you to take away that girl Sakura," Meilin said, and she could not suppress the pleading in her voice. "He," and Meilin's breath hitched in pain, "he feels for her. Syaoran… he never acts this way."

"Why don't you just marry Syaoran then and end it?" Xiaolang said. "Or, did you try and fail…and now you're lowering yourself to talk to me so that I can solve your problem for you?"

_Is he taunting me?_ Meilin wondered. His voice sounded like he knew that she had already tried seducing her handsome but aloof cousin. Pain lanced through her at the memory of that awful night; Syaoran had screamed, tossed a blanket over her, and carried her back into her quarters. After that his chambers were always sealed with an ofuda Meilin could not do anything about.

And the other night, after she and Eriol had tried to lock Sakura out of the academy... Yue had sat down and talked to her seriously.

_"Do you realize what is happening? You are a martial artist, Meilin," Yue said quietly. "You of all people should know what happens when you lose control and let your emotions take over."_

_"I don't know what you're talking about," Meilin said stubbornly._

_"Your jealousy is unbecoming of you," Yue said quietly. "Syaoran is your world; you have never been discreet about that. I'll give you some free advice: Let go of Syaoran. You're hurting him, hurting yourself, hurting those around who care about you. Obsessive loves never end well, Li Meilin, and you may regret your actions someday."_

_She looked into his silver eyes, a momentary thrill of panic almost overwhelming her. Did Yue somehow know her plans for Xiaolang?_

_Yue just looked at her. "I do not like having you at this academy, girl, because your temper is but the lining of a cloud of storms around you. And I don't know if you can control yourself, but my advice is, please do learn it. For your sake, and for Syaoran's."_

"You have to help me," Meilin said after a pause. "It's for your own good, believe me."

Xiaolang stared at Meilin coldly. **This** was why he detested the Lis. They were self-righteous and liked to say the Reeds were ruthless and black-hearted, yet here was one of them, unable to control her jealousy, and asking him to do her dirty work.

_There's nothing in it for me,_ he thought. _Why should I help this bratty girl?_ He knew from his father that something had torn Meilin from Syaoran; their relationship was never as good as it had been in the past. His father's mirror, though, did not allow them to see every detail of the magical people they spied on—in this case Syaoran—so he did not know the specifics.

_Or_, repeated a voice in his head that he would later wish he'd listened to, _threaten me with it._

"You know I can't do that," she ground out between gritted teeth. "For a marriage to be legal both parties need to consent and you know Syaoran would never…" She looked away. "You like her, even a blind person can tell. So why are you hesitating? Just get her out of the academy!" Meilin fought back her tears. She would fight for Syaoran, of that she was sure.

"So you want me to take Sakura conveniently away," Xiaolang rolled his eyes and huffed into his bangs, unsure of whether to laugh or lash out. "How pathetically petty of you! I will woo her the right way. I will not steal her like a thief in the night. Do not insult my honor by trying to use me for your own selfish and petty ends." His look was condescending.

"You don't know what I want!" Meilin screamed. "But I know that Syaoran is falling for her and I think she… I don't want that!" Then her face hardened. "You want to beat Syaoran, right? Then by getting Sakura, you win! Do it!"

"Look here, you overemotional shrew, Sakura is bound by contract to stay at your academy. Even if I took her—which I will not—she would have to return. As for you wanting Syaoran, that is no concern of mine," Xiaolang sneered and turned away.

_So be it_, Meilin thought. _He wants to do this the hard way. Fine. It's a good thing ownership of magical artifacts can pass through theft. Now I can force him to do it!_

"Here," and Meilin removed a scroll from her cloak. Xiaolang looked at it then recoiled in horror. "Take it. It will guarantee that Sakura will be yours."

"No," he whispered. Then, louder, "You are an **idiot**. You should never have taken that--there's a reason why the Lis never let it out of their vault!" The polluted magic began to reach at him, and he moved backwards.

"You know what it is," Meilin smiled, and Xiaolang shuddered to see the madness and desperation in them.

"Take it!" she screamed. "I cannot do it! I… You want Sakura, I know it, I can see it in your eyes. This will tell you how to make her your love slave forever—it can even change her personality to match yours. She can be your wife! Don't you want her? She's never had a lover, I can tell, so that spell will work on her!"

"No… Never in that way!" Xiaolang shook his head, unable to believe the depths to which Meilin had sunk.

_The scroll!_ He suddenly realized with a flash of insight that the scroll—if Meilin had kept it with her for a long time, then her mind had been polluted by it. It would partly explain her obsession with Syaoran, explain why she was willing to go to such awful depths. He knew he had to get away from her as fast as he could.

Xiaolang turned to run before the polluted magic reached him, but to his shock, he could not move. "What… Why can't I move?!"

Meilin grimly smiled at him. "So the ofudas work on you after all," she said quietly. She walked forward and touched Syaoran's sealing ofuda, stolen from his quarters while he was with Sakura, and placed on Xiaolang as they struggled.

A note of panic entered Xiaolang's voice. "You don't know what you're doing! Let me go! No… By the gods, girl!" He struggled, but the ofuda would not let him take more than a few steps in a tiny circle.

"No." Meilin did not feel tears creep down her face. "You're the only one who can do this and I need you to do it. You must do it or… I would rather die than lose Syaoran! You don't know what it's like to have someone you've loved all your life snatched away from you just like that by someone who... Don't you understand? Sakura can have you! I have nothing else... Syaoran is everything to me. I don't hate her, I just don't want her to be with Syaoran. You can understand that, can't you? And... You want her and I'm sure you can win her over in time."

"No, no..." Xiaolang pleaded. "Not like this!" He knew the spell would change him, and if he changed fundamentally, as a person, and he used that spell scroll on Sakura, it would change her as well. "Think of the consequences, damn you!"

"I am not giving you a choice. You in fact owe me for this because I know you want her, and I am placing her in your hands. So stop resisting." Meilin said.

Xiaolang tried a last-ditch spell to probe into Meilin's mind and soothe her overworked emotions. When his mind touched hers, he gasped at the depth of the pain and sorrow in it. Unfortunately he also realized that her emotions were fueling the polluted magic from the scroll.

"No…" he whispered as the magic entered his body.

"I, Li Meilin, of my own, will do give this scroll of which I am the rightful owner by title of theft, to Reed Xiaolang, for his purposes and for him to use," Meilin said softly as she walked towards Xiaolang. She bent down and placed the scroll in his hands. "By the laws of the transfer of magic artifacts, as the giver, I command you to use the spell on it on Sakura, so that she will be Bonded to you," she whispered in his ear.

Xiaolang was struggling but even he knew he was lost. Meilin crouched next to him, smiling though tears were in her eyes.

"The longer you resist the compulsion, the weaker you become and the more you will change to fit the will of the scroll. Are you willing to die for her when she could be yours?"

"Damn you," Xiaolang whispered.

"I know I am damned. I would have used the scroll on Syaoran if I could. I won't ask you to forgive me, because I know this is a sin. But I do this for the sake of my love, and I carry the burden of sin freely. Please understand that." She straightened up, then began to walk away.

The last thing Xiaolang saw before he passed out was the scroll radiating a purple beam of light at him, and he knew he was doomed.

* * *

"Ah, there you are. How do you feel?"A baritone voice was the first thing Sakura heard.

Sakura's eyes fluttered open, and to her surprise, the boy named Eriol was bending over her.

"Er…Hiiragizawa-sama…"

"Just Eriol. At the academy we're all just students."

Wary of his change in demeanor, Sakura moved away from him. "I'm sorry to inconvenience you. I'll be fine, I…" The last thing she remembered was being with Xiaolang, so how had she wound up in what looked like the infirmary of the school?

To her surprise Eriol looked away. He sighed, then said, "My apologies."

Sakura goggled. Was he… sorry?

She had no way of knowing that Yue had not punished Eriol the other day, but had instead shown him images of Clow Reed.

_"Your father," Yue said as he conjured an image from Clow Reed's life, "helped strangers, even when they had the potential to hurt him."_

_Eriol gasped; Clow was helping a man, who was a disguised sorceror, carry a heavy burden. The other sorcerer was jealous of Clow, and was preparing a trap for him. Instead, Clow deliberately turned his back on the other sorceror and said softly, "All I ask is that you pass on this kindness to others."_

_A witch confessed her love for Clow, who gently rejected her because he was already married. In anger, the witch tried to curse Clow, who had dispelled the curse and then held the witch gently, telling her, "Turn that anger to a useful purpose instead. Look," and he gestured at the valley below, showing the witch images of sick children, suffering wounded warriors, famers with crops that refused to grow. "If you love me, turn that love to those who need it." And she had._

_"And Clow would have liked for his only son to be kind to others, especially those who do not deserve unfairness." Yue continued, shifting to a horrible battle scene. A small home was in the path of the carnage, and a man who looked oddly like Clow with short brown hair ran out screaming, "Touya! Sakura!"_

_Frantic for his children, the man searched the small barn, the nearby forest, and saw his dark-haired son holding off some attackers so that his sister could run._

_The girl, whom Eriol recognized as Sakura, tried to help her brother, who yelled at her to run. An attacker burst through, and he lifted his sword to fight the man off. The father ran forward to fight the other swordsmen, and he also screamed at Sakura to run._

_Eriol saw Sakura running, getting lost in unfamiliar terrain, sleeping in the forest, scrounging for food. He saw a group of older woman who badly beat up Sakura for merely stepping into their territory, and leaving her for dead in the forest. Then he saw himself through Yue's eyes, glaring at Sakura, laughing cruelly at her... it was embarrassing to have to see himself so adolescent, so out of control._

He looked up and Yue was looking at him quietly.

"You have always reminded me of your father," Yue said softly. "I hope you take after his heart as well. Think about what your father would have done in your shoes."

Expecting harsh punishment, Eriol bowed his head. Instead, Yue unfurled his wings and flew off, leaving Eriol to an even worse punishment: the knowledge that he had disappointed, that he had taken actions completely unworthy of him.

He looked at Sakura and adjusted his glasses. "I… I have been selfish and childish. Can you find it in your heart to…" He paused, then carefully said, "Will you forgive me?" He bowed his head.

"Uh…" Sakura sat up, then the world whirled around her. "Ugh…"

"Don't. You're still weak from the use of magic. That…" and Eriol frowned, "that Xiaolang should not have pushed you so hard on your first training day."

Flat on her back again, Sakura took a deep breath and turned to Eriol. "You want me to forgive you, then."

He nodded. "I understand you have the right to ask me a commensurate favor. Given the gravity of my offense…"

Sakura giggled. It was Eriol's turn to goggle at her.

"Please, don't be so formal, Hiirag- I mean, Eriol-san. I think…" and she gingerly moved up on her pillow, "you were a bit bothered by my arrival. I think that maybe, you were expecting to be Clow Reed's heir and successor, so I kind of understand why… although for a few moments back then I was really scared of you," she admitted candidly. "And so can I ask instead why you were so angry at me before? If you tell me, then maybe we can understand each other and be friends." She smiled, a genuine, radiant smile Eriol had not seen on a person in a long time.

_How can she forgive so easily?_ Eriol wondered. He would have asked for a maximum forfeit had it been him. His behavior had been quite reprehensible, and he was shamed at how clearly Yue had shown him exactly what he had been like—and how ashamed his father would have been, had he seen how Eriol treated Sakura.

"Well, in essence… you are right. I… I did not think before I acted; I only felt my anger, my shame because you had been the one to open the Book, because I sensed you would have a great destiny ahead of you." Eriol looked away again. "I offer you only the truth now as my penance. I still resent you somewhat, Kinomoto-san. But perhaps, if we got to know each other and I could learn to put aside my prejudices…"

"Let's be friends," Sakura said, smiling at him. "How about that?"

Eriol almost laughed in spite of himself. "How can you just let this go without punishing me?"

"Because my father Fujitaka always told me that keeping grudges is like clinging to a knife—it only cuts deeper. I was hurt, and I was scared. But after I had a good cry, it was okay. I truly do believe that everything will be all right."

A pink glow radiated from Sakura at her last few words, and Eriol stood up, astonished.

"You can cast protection spells already?" he marveled.

Sakura blinked. "No. Not that I know of. Only, the man who nursed me back to health some time ago taught me those words. He said it would be like a small light in the darkness when every star goes out in the night."

"Oh gods above," Eriol whispered. "Only my father knew that spell!"

"Hoe?" Sakura blinked. "I got into a fight with some scavengers, and the man who healed me—he looked kind of like you—was named Clow."

She squeaked when Eriol suddenly grabbed her shoulders. "Did he wear black robes edged with purple? Did he have long hair pulled back into a purple ribbon?" His eyes looked a bit wild, and Sakura hesitated.

"Yes, but…"

"My father!" Eriol looked elated. "Do you realize what this means? You are proof that I am… my existence is not a lie. He helped you. You did not know who he was, yet… Kinomoto-san, this is just…" He shook his head and smiled.

"But… How can… I don't understand…" Sakura said slowly.

"Don't worry," Eriol grinned. "I can confirm that. With your permission, of course."

"Er, sure," Sakura said. "But how?" She was very surprised at the turnaround in Eriol's attitude towards her.

"I need you to think of that day, and when I touch foreheads with you, I shall see with your eyes."

"Okay." Sakura thought of the kind man who had healed her wounds after that terrible incident, and Eriol touched his forehead to hers.

When he drew back, he sounded reverential. "Thank you. Ah, Sakura-san, you have given me a priceless gift, one which, in light of my previous behavior, I do not deserve at all." He released her, stood at his full height, then bowed. "I honor you."

"Hoe!" Sakura was shocked; Eriol was a noble, and he was bowing to her?

"It will be hard to repay you for what you have just given me, but I offer you my service, advice, and my martial arts," Eriol said. He drew his dagger from his belt and placed it on Sakura's lap. "My blade is yours to command."

Sakura picked it up by the handle as Eriol stayed bowed. She had no idea what to do and was beginning to feel stupid; for a moment she wondered if Eriol was mocking her. He stayed bowed until the door opened.

"Ah, Kinomoto-san, you are awake," Kaho smiled. In her hands was a tray on which a teapot and some food rested.

"Mizuki-sensei!" Eriol turned to her, his eyes brilliant with joy. "My father—Sakura met him. She knows his spell! She is proof that he is alive somehow!"

"Not necessarily alive, Hiiragizawa. Rather, he manifested to her at a time of need. This is why I believed she is the next Card Master," she said kindly.

"But…" and Eriol glanced at Sakura, "sensei, why did you not tell me?"

Setting the tray on the large chest next to Sakura, Kaho smiled gently. "Would you have believed me that night? You would have said I was trying to get you to accept Sakura. Finding out this way means you knew her story is real. And, I think, truth is the best way to start a friendship."

Eriol smiled. "Thank you for the lesson, Mizuki-sensei."

He turned to Sakura and bowed again, then told her, "Just pick up the blade carefully and return it to me handle side forward. Yes, that's it. Thank you, Kinomoto-san."

"Oh, you can call me Sakura," she smiled.

"I shall… Sakura-san." With a final happy smile, Eriol left the room. As he walked down the corridors towards the library, he glanced out the windows, feeling a strange aura of magic somewhere beyond the outer walls of the school.

Syaoran was walking towards him, a revitalizing drink of ginger, ginseng, and witchweed in a goblet in his hands. He too turned towards faint traces of the odd aura.

Having been trained in magic together for a long time, neither needed to state the obvious. Instead, Syaoran asked. "You'll do it?"

Eriol nodded, pushed a window open, and cast a spell to carry him out towards the aura. It was fading when he arrived, and he could not get a fix on the spell, whatever it had been. What he found disturbed him. One of Syaoran's ofudas was on the ground, and there was a sign of a struggle. Fresh magic mingled with a strangely polluted magic that Eriol did not like.

He sat back on his heels. Only someone at the Academy would have access to Syaoran's ofudas. And it was a sealing ofuda, which meant whoever took it had been planning to trap someone else.

_I don't like this,_ he thought. Was someone trying to frame Syaoran? But for what? Nothing made sense; the magics mixed together and created a mess he could not trace, and so he flew back to the academy to confer with Kaho and Yue.

In the infirmary, Syaoran met Kaho, who was leaving.

"Oh good. Put Sakura back to sleep if you can, will you? She needs the rest," she said, sweeping away before Syaoran could protest.

He shrugged and called out, "I'm coming in!" as he entered.

"You ought to rest," Syaoran said gruffly as he set the tray next to her. "Stop moving. Don't be stubborn."

"Syaoran-san!" Sakura sat up then regretted it when dark spots appeared before her eyes. She flopped back on the bed, and was surprised when he moved fast enough to catch her.

"See what… Damn it," he cursed, and laid her gently back on the bed. She still smelled as sweet as she had when he'd brought her there; carrying Sakura had been a strange pleasure for him, as she was a firm but light weight in his arms, and she just looked so… peaceful.

"I think I'm fine until I try to get up. Oooh, I hate feeling weak!" Sakura clenched her fists.

Syaoran rolled his eyes. "Look, you did really well for your first time, dueling Xiaolang almost to a standstill, so just shut up. Drink this," he pointed at the goblet.

She eyed it dubiously. "What is it?"

"A revitalizing drink. I added honey so it won't taste like… er, goblin blood," he joked weakly.

Sakura recoiled. "Have you tasted goblin blood? What a horrible thought! Were you forced to drink it?" Her eyes were anxious.

He stared at her. "Uh… That is…" He could feel himself turning red. "It was meant as a joke of sorts."

"Oh." Embarrassed, Sakura almost hid under the sheets. "Sorry. I didn't know."

"You didn't have to," Syaoran said. "Er, really." He cleared his throat, then, "If you believe things so easily, you're an idiot. Stay clear of Yamazaki."

"Who?"

Clearing his throat again, Syaoran looked away. "He's one of the other students. Tells tall tales. Daidouji-hime says that his betrothed Mihara Chiharu says that if he begins any story with 'I hear that…' then it's a lie."

"You're very nice to tell me that," Sakura said, softly smiling without looking at him.

They then looked at each other, both blushing. Syaoran seized the goblet after a while and said, desperate to change the topic, "You gotta drink this fast. Come on!"

When he handed the goblet to her, their hands touched, and both, without knowing it, felt a thrill pass through them. They blushed, and Syaoran let go of the goblet as soon as it was safely in her hands.

Sakura made a face as the drink smelled like rotten eggs, then she began to sip at the oddly clear liquid. After the first taste, her eyes widened, and she began to gulp it down. Once she was finished, she turned to Syaoran and said, "That was delicious!"

"Lucky you. It tastes different to everyone," Syaoran shrugged.

"What does it taste like for you?"

"Goblin blood." He said this with a straight face, but his quirking mouth betrayed him.

She eyed him anxiously. "Syaoran-san, you're kidding again, right?"

To her surprise, he chuckled. "You really are a quick study; you pick lessons up fast. How you learned to control Windy so fast… well…" He took the goblet and said, "The food on the tray is for you. I need to go to our sword fighting lessons now with Terada-sensei, but you're excused. Go on, go back to sleep."

"Okay. And thank you, Syaoran-san."

He shook his head. "The –san, remember?"

"Oh. Syaoran-kun," Sakura said, then she smiled. "Thank you again."

He nodded, then left the room, thinking of her smile. Syaoran had never really noticed how pretty Sakura was, but now he was beginning to see it. Her smile and her eyes were her two best features, he noticed, but then there was also her rosy cheeks and lips, her cheerful personality, her…

_Stop it!_ He shook his head and snarled angrily at himself.

"It would be better if you didn't think too much about her," a soft voice said near his ear, making him jump.

No matter how many times Yue crept up on him, Syaoran would never get used to it. "Keh! Yue! Just don't… Gah." Syaoran turned to face the Moon Guardian, determined to change the topic. "What is it?"

Yue didn't blink at the change of topic. "How many ofudas do you have?"

_What a strange question,_ Syaoran thought. _He __**knows**__ how many._ "Fire, thunder, wind, earth… the sealing ofuda. Why are you asking me this?"

"You don't carry them on your person, do you?"

"Why should I?" Syaoran was genuinely puzzled. "You taught me how to cast spells without my ofudas."

"Where do you keep them?"

"In my room."

"Hidden?"

Syaoran raised a brow at the strange undertone of urgency in Yue's voice. "No, just by my personal armory. Why?"

Yue sighed. "You don't always lock your door in the daytime, do you?"

"I do."

"Magical locks?"

Blushing, Syaoran replied, "Only at night." He pushed the memory of Meilin in his bed out of his mind.

"You might want to change your mind about that," Yue said gravely, and out of his sleeve he drew an ofuda.

"Fires of the netherworld," Syaoran cursed. "How…"

"That," Yue said quietly, "is what you must find out."

Back in the infirmary, Sakura lay in the bed, and as she drifted off to sleep, a thought intruded on her. How did Syaoran know what happened between me and Xiaolang, when we were the only ones there?

But dreams soon chased the thought away, and by the next morning, she had forgotten it.

0-0-0

Xiaolang opened his eyes. He was in his light, airy bedchamber at Kuroyama but he could not remember going home.

"You're awake," a deep voice announced.

"Father," he said.

"The Li girl gave you that scroll," Fei Wang said.

"I won't use it!" Xiaolang snapped. "That stupid little brat just…"

"Do you know what I have seen?" Fei Wang stood beside his handsome son's bed. "That thing will eat away at your energies until you use it."

"I am strong," Xiaolang said, and he stood up abruptly. He swayed for a moment, then steadied himself, casting a magical barrier as he did, one meant to hinder the flow of magic from the scroll to himself.

But there was none.

"You have the scroll under control, Father?"

"In our vault. For now." Fei Wang turned to look outside the window; outside, the sun was setting. "You will need it."

"What?"

"The Li boy will win her over before you do. I suggest you use the scroll before he consummates their relationship."

"He can barely stand her, let alone have sex with her," Xiaolang retorted.

"Are you convincing me, or yourself? Come, now, Xiaolang. You inherited the brains of this clan. You saw them yourself. And if you don't hurry, the course of things set into motion shows me they will be in love soon. Do you want that? That girl is the key to finally attaining ascendance over the Lis. You've seen her heart; she is loyal and loving. Use the scroll!"

"No!" Xiaolang chopped his hand downwards for emphasis. "I shall win her over on my own. I know you have plans within plans, Father, but…"

"Pah!" Fei Wang Reed spat. "Your ideals are fine, boy, but you must understand that Sakura is necessary to my plans. You cannot fail me."

"I will not," and Xiaolang's eyes blazed. "Be patient, Father. You've waited many years; you can surely wait a few more."

Fei Wang stared as Xiaolang stormed out of his chambers.

"Oh, but you will see things my way soon, son." He conjured up an image of Meilin Li, and smiled. "Time to nudge your dreams again, little girl." He intended to have Meilin speed things along. Her emotions made her easy to twist and manipulate, and he would have felt sorry for her had his ambitions not been in charge of his decisions.

Then out of his sleeve he pulled the scroll, removed the voiding shield he'd placed on it, and placed it under Xiaolang's bed, casting an invisibility shield on it.

"You will take that Sakura for your wife," Fei Wang Reed said softly, "my son. Given who her parents are, and what her powers will be in the future… I shall not allow the Li boy to love her and take her innocence. You'll see things my way, eventually, especially after she bears you children. You will see."

He quickly scryed the area to see if he was being observed. Xiaolang was in the garden, practicing his forms; Cerberus was eating in the kitchen, and no one else would think twice of a father in his son's chambers.

Satisfied, he left the room and walked back to his chambers.

**To be continued in Chapter 7**

* * *

Thank you for the reviews: **winterkaguya** (Keep that thought in mind--giggles--remember how Syaoran detested Eriol in the anime/manga, and how much fun Eriol had annoying Syaoran? Syaoran is beginning to melt the way he did in the manga/anime--aww, fluff warning ahead! As for Sakura and Xiaolang, have you ever had a guy get all aggressive on you? It makes Sakura uncomfortable, all this sexual aura Xiaolang gives off--in a way you could say her subconscious is warning her of what's coming up. As for Touya and Fujitaka, they will arrive--later. Re Syaoran getting beaten up: Shh. He will, but I won't tell you who does it XD), **storyteller87** (Thank you! I know the pace is slow and turns off those who want fluffy stuff, but next chapter...hee hee), **poems2songs** (Thank you! I made the decision to put in the confrontation between SxS in chapter 1 so that you can see them falling in love in the story but you know it's gonna go wrong. Re Sakura and the staff after she changes, hmm, you'll see ^_^ Meilin is confused and misguided; I've seen so many girls and women who are normally nice, but who lose their heads totally when they are in love. She seems like the type to do this if things are taken to an extreme, so...), **XxSakura-HimexX** (Yes he is, and as you see here, he's beginning to get mooshy :D I love him too, and so even I'm a little scared of the parts I've already written where he tries to win back Sakura...hehe), **michiko14anime** (Hee hee, funny you should say that cos Xiaolang is going to be EPIC FAIL soon re Sakura! Poor guy...), **DN Angel and Cardcaptor Sakura** (Hey! Here's the next chapter, and Syaoran is slowly falling, haha), **Shiona Acitiu** (Thank you! Feel free to PM me re that feeling; even if it's not what I intend with the story, I am always open to ideas! Oh and here's the update, hope you enjoy!), **Avalon's Angel** (Aw, thank you! Hope you keep reading...), **MikoKagome1113** (I know I already said this but that review was awesome. Thank you so so much!), **BunnyParfait** (Here's another reward! :DD Oh, you like long chapters? Okay, I'm trying for 4,000-5,000 words from now on ^_^), and **brokenshadow23** (Haha relax, I have no problem with that. God, I remember school--I work now--and I do not envy you. Good luck with everything! Right now, who the better man is really depends on your taste...but Meilin has pretty much 'ruined' Xiaolang by now--sniff. LOL yes, when I write I make sure to note things down from the anime. Have a good vacation!)

**Notes:**

Kero will arrive, finally, next chapter, we get to see a Card capture, and people will change. Also, this will go to M in while, because of the nature of what Xiaolang will do to Sakura. Unless you have objections, in which case I'll leave out those parts; do let me know? Thanks!

Xiaolang embodies the mistake many people make when they think they are special: they get overconfident. Hence Meilin is able to trap and hurt him. He was concerned about what Meilin might do to Sakura, and so he dropped his guard. Big mistake. Those of you who like him, I bet you feel sorry for him now U_U

Meilin is not thoroughly evil, I promise. I've done some counseling and you know, some girls and women can get irrational and crazy over guys they love--even when they normally are nice people. Imagine how Meilin will feel when Sakura befriends her? Major guilt trip! XD

The idea of an artifact carrying an obligation is a superstition in some areas of my country and in parts of Asia. Pretty much if you give a powerful item freely, you can oblige the recipient to do something. That scroll, incidentally, also played a role in the painful past of Clow Reed. By the way, I decided to call it "The Shot" because Meilin accidentally buys that card in the anime and says she'll use it to aim at Syaoran's heart--therefore getting him attacked by a card! She does things she regrets, but is not evil per se.


	7. Developments

**Addiction 7: Developments**

I don't own the characters, only the plot. Rated T for foul language. Rating may go up to M if it's okay with you guys :D . Mild crossover with the use of Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles (TRC) characters. No spoilers for the various twists and the manga ending of Tsubasa (so kindly don't spoil that ending for anyone else if you've read it since all I've done is borrow characters). Xiaolang is modeled physically after the Evil Clone in TRC, but has his own personality here.

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**From Chapter 6:** _Xiaolang was struggling but even he knew he was lost. Meilin crouched next to him, smiling though tears were in her eyes._

_"The longer you resist the compulsion, the weaker you become and the more you will change to fit the will of the scroll. Are you willing to die for her when she could be yours?"_

"_Damn you," Xiaolang whispered._

_"I know I am damned. I would have used the scroll on Syaoran if I could. I won't ask you to forgive me, because I know this is a sin. But I do this for the sake of my love, and I carry the burden of sin freely. Please understand that." She straightened up, then began to walk away._

_The last thing Xiaolang saw before he passed out was the scroll radiating a purple beam of light at him, and he knew he was doomed._

**

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**

_(Several hours earlier, before Yue showed Syaoran his sealing ofuda in chapter 6)_

Yue, who had flown through the corridors of Shiroihana, looked at Kaho when he found her inside the academy's library, his gray eyes grave. "Did you feel that?"

Kaho nodded; she was still somewhat pale. "Forbidden magic, released…"

"The only place it could have come from is here; there are no other stores of magic nearby, and Kuroyama is too far for a magical signature to reach us." Yue stood up. "How could we not have sensed it while it was here?"

"Could Xiaolang Reed be involved? He was here this morning…"

Yue closed his eyes, reaching out to feel the polluted magic. Even from a distance it made him recoil. "No. His imprint is not mixed in with the magic, the way it would have been had he been the one to control or conceal it. I don't understand… If I could just go there…"

"Perhaps I can help shed a little light on that," a new voice interrupted their discussion. Yue and Kaho turned to see Eriol, holding Syaoran's sealing ofuda and a cloth spun from spider's silk.

"That cloth," Kaho's breathing almost stopped. "That's used to mute magical signatures."

"Someone's been affected by it, though," Yue mused. "But how?"

Eriol held the cloth up so they could see it clearly; it was torn in one place, which meant the concealment and repression of the magic was incomplete. Even more frightening, the magical residue of whatever it had been concealing had seeped into it, turning it black.

"Ah. Whoever had this item did not know that it would open him or her to outside influences, possibly through dreams. That person has been corrupted, and may even be under the control of that outside influence," Yue said quietly.

He moved to stand next to Eriol. "Let me see through your eyes."

When Eriol nodded, Yue touched his forehead to Eriol's; used to this method of retrieving memories, Eriol stood still and opened his mind to Yue, thinking of the scene he'd found outside the Academy earlier.

"Gods below," Yue breathed, "it's been given to someone. It's The Shot."

"The binding spell for a virgin?" Kaho asked.

Yue nodded, and added, "I don't fully understand the nature of the scroll. It was hidden in the vault of the Lis because of its terrible polluting influence. Even to come in contact with it produces a strange obsession in whoever the person liked to begin with. A Li once used it to get the woman he wanted away from her husband, and it ended in sorrow and death—the woman killed herself when he was called up to war and had to leave her behind. Many magic practitioners knew of it, if not what was in it and what it could actually do."

Eriol, understanding from the looks on their faces that whatever it was, was very bad, asked, "Has it been used?"

"No, but…" Yue closed his eyes again, still not letting go of Eriol's forehead, but now, he had taken the spidersilk cloth from Eriol and was holding it gingerly. "The giver had ill intentions towards a girl. That is all I can tell."

He released Eriol, then cursed. "Fires of the netherworld! Had I not been bound to this academy by Clow… I could have traced the giver and the recipient if I could just go to where you found this!"

"Syaoran clearly isn't involved, then," Kaho mused. "He would never be stupid or careless enough to leave his ofuda lying around. And no changes in his personality have been observed. The scroll would bring out the dark side of the receiver; he or she would change, become more ruthless in the pursuit of the one he or she desired."

Eriol did not like where—and to whom—his deductions were leading him, and he was sure the two adults were also concealing their suspicions for the sake of peace. "Could it be someone from the academy?" He did not add, _"And could the target be someone in the academy as well?"_ He was afraid to know the answer.

"It can only have been that," Kaho said carefully. "But let us not point a finger until we have conclusive proof."

"Yes… We won't," Eriol said softly. Leaving the items to Yue, he turned to take his leave.

Once he was gone, Yue said, "He thinks he knows who did it... and who's being targeted." He glanced at Kaho. "You know he will want to get to the bottom of this."

Kaho looked away. "I know. But it is not my place to stop him."

"Kaho? Why don't you…" Yue began.

"Come, we should be at the library now, working on this puzzle," Kaho said, deliberately cutting Yue off.

Knowing better than to pursue the subject, Yue flew off, saying, "I'll see you there."

**

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**

When Sakura was released from the infirmary, she was told to go to the elite students' dining hall. A bit reluctantly, she made her way there, remembering how she was treated the last time.

"I'm sorry I'm late," she said, head bowed as she entered, expecting the same reception she'd gotten the last time she was late.

"Fine, fine. We just started," Eriol said jovially.

A little too heartily, Syaoran thought. Eriol had been in a pensive mood earlier, and he'd asked Syaoran questions about Sakura. He felt, Syaoran thought, like a man who had discovered something that terrified him, but he was unwilling to scare anyone with it.

Sakura gaped at Eriol. He was grinning at her, and Tomoyo was smiling as she indicated the seat next to her; the table had been changed from one with six places to one with eight places. Syaoran sat at the foot of the table, where her place had previously been; next to him, opposite where Sakura was to sit, was Meilin, whom he was ignoring despite the girl's lively chatter. Sakura longed to listen to Meilin; the girl might seem unpleasant but Sakura sensed that she might make a good friend if she would just be a little less hostile.

"Come on, the food's getting cold. You won't like cold buta or ebi fry," Eriol waved her on.

Sakura walked to her place and sat down; Tomoyo pressed a bowl of rice into her hands. Sakura peeked at Syaoran, who gave her a sidelong glance and a nod, but otherwise did not say anything.

"Eat up," Tomoyo smiled. "I heard of how you did this morning against Xiaolang."

"She almost kicked his ass," Meilin smiled. Syaoran and Sakura turned to her, surprised, the latter smiling happily. "Syaoran said," she hastily added.

_Yes, I am going to be nice to her because it seems to upset Syaoran when I'm mean to her, _Meilin thought. Free of the influence of the scroll, she could think clearly, but since she had missing memories, she had no idea of the gravity of what she'd done.

She smiled at Syaoran. Then the thought crossed her mind: _Just you wait until Sakura is taken away from here. Then you'll be all mine._

_What was that? _Meilin shook her head. _What am I thinking?_ She looked around; only Tomoyo with her ever-wise eyes was looking at her, and Tomoyo smiled.

Meilin shook her head and touched her forehead. The strange urge she'd had over the past few months to be close to Syaoran, to be always near him… She felt free of it, for once, and it felt… strange.

Eriol eyed her quietly; he was wondering if he could contrive a way to touch foreheads with Meilin, but could not think of a reason to do so—or what memory to ask Meilin to recall in her mind. If both he and the target did not know, there would be no retrieval. But she seemed to be happy enough, and Kaho had said that anyone in contact with the scroll would be a bit more ruthless, less able to smile that way. But what did he really know?

"Didn't know you listened to my story a while ago. You seemed engrossed in that book," Syaoran said.

"Haha! It was a smutty book. Wanna read?" Meilin waved it in Syaoran's face; the title was "The Wet Garden of Love."

"Ugh." Syaoran waved it away. "Disgusting. Who thinks of those suggestive titles?"

"It happens to be a romance! The lovemaking is quite tasteful; Kurin shows Aira how he loves her when he makes love to her… you ought to read it Syaoran, you might learn something," and Meilin smiled shyly. "There's a part where Kurin first kisses Aira and when his hands…"

"Spare me. I'm not interested." Syaoran turned away, not seeing the hurt look in Meilin's eyes.

Tomoyo expected a more violent reaction from Meilin, who could get irrational when Syaoran hurt her or ignored her, so Meilin's quiet acceptance of Syaoran's dismissal surprised her.

Completely blind to the drama going on near her, Sakura was happily helping herself to breaded pork and shrimp. "Thank you again for watching over me, Eriol-san."

"Me? No, Syaoran was watching over you before that. He carried you there from the entryway. Do you know that he battled Xiaolang to retrieve you?" Eriol said with a straight face. "Syaoran fought an epic battle to save you from his ravening clutches. Xiaolang didn't go down without a fight."

"Hoe!" Sakura turned to Syaoran. "But… But Xiaolang-san isn't evil… he was very nice, please let me talk to him if he said anything bad to you…"

"Don't believe that idiot, idiot," Syaoran said without looking at her; he was spooning curry into his bowl and looking down, pretending to focus on his food. But Meilin could see the beginnings of a blush staining his cheeks, and she gritted her teeth. He never reacted that way to her.

"Er… if I may ask, Eriol-san? Why… why is Xiaolang your enemy?"

Eriol looked at her gravely. "Family history. You ought to be asking Syaoran."

"Xiaolang told me a little about it, but I think… I mean, why should something so old affect you all now?" Sakura said earnestly. "I'm sure he'll listen to me…"

"Idiot. Of course he's being nice to you, he wants you," Syaoran muttered, which Sakura did not catch. "Never mind our family history," he said in a louder voice, "it's really none of your business."

"But if you would just… I don't think I'm wrong," Sakura stood her ground. "I think this whole thing is based on misunderstandings!"

Syaoran merely glared at her.

Tomoyo smiled. She thought the same thing.

"Perhaps we all ought to work together," she said calmly. "That way we could learn more about each other, and get along better, yes?"

"Good idea," Eriol grinned.

"Someone's in a good mood," Meilin peered over at Eriol curiously.

"Someone has found proof that his father is for real," Eriol said cheerfully.

"Ara? How is that?"

"Sakura cast a spell my father invented," Eriol said, lowering his voice. "She saw him, or as Mizuki-sensei says, a manifestation of him. That means I am finally vindicated." He crossed his arms smugly.

"Oh, I see." Meilin looked over at Sakura, who smiled at her a bit uncertainly.

Meilin saw her chance to make amends—come to think of it why oh why had she been so violent towards Sakura to begin with? Taking a deep breath, she said, "We got off to a bad start. How about if we be friends?"

"Is that okay?" Sakura smiled. "Yes, Li-san!"

"Call me Meilin," and Meilin winked at her. Sakura smiled happily, and after a pause, Meilin smiled back.

On the way back to their quarters, Tomoyo walked with Sakura and said, "You'll need some supplies: robes, training gis, and the like. If… if you would like, I can help you."

Surprised, Sakura stopped walking; they were in the gardens that were at the center of their quarters. "You would, really?"

Tomoyo nodded. "I… well, I'm sort of handy with a needle and embroidery."

"Wow," Sakura breathed. "But you're a princess…"

"Ought that limit me then?" Tomoyo smiled.

"No, but… You have such beautiful hands," Sakura said. "Actually, you're very beautiful. Like a real princess should be." She clapped a hand over her mouth and started to bow. "I'm sorry! I'm too familiar with you!"

"No, no," Tomoyo hastened to reassure her. "I… I prefer that. Please do call me Tomoyo-chan, and forget I'm a princess."

"Then please, call me Sakura-chan," Sakura smiled.

That smile, those green eyes… Tomoyo was vaguely reminded of the portraits of the Crown Princess who had vanished before she was born. But it was impossible, wasn't it?

"May I inquire as to your parents?" Tomoyo asked politely.

A shadow crept over Sakura's pretty features. "My mother died when I was four. She was a very beautiful, kind woman. My father and brother are somewhere in the South. I was separated from them by the war. Some soldiers came to our home, and they bought me time to flee." She bowed her head. "I don't know if they're all right…"

"You miss them," Tomoyo said quietly. "I apologize for straying into sensitive territory."

"Oh no," Sakura smiled. "It's all right. I like remembering good things. My father taught me and my brother as we grew up: mathematics, cooking and cleaning, writing, reading…"

Tomoyo paused. "Reading and writing?" Only the nobility knew how to read and write.

"Yes, he said he was my mother's tutor before they married."

A strange excitement was growing inside Tomoyo but she dared not voice her suspicions yet. Princess Nadeshiko had run away with her tutor at the age of sixteen, disappearing without a trace. But Tomoyo did not remember the tutor's name.

"May I ask your parents' names?"

"My mother was Nadeshiko, my father was Fujitaka, my brother is Touya."

"Could you tell me about your mother, please?" Tomoyo marveled at her own steady, calm voice; apparently the lessons on personal control were paying off.

"She had eyes like mine," Sakura said. "Long lovely flowing hair, kind of like yours, Prin-I mean, Tomoyo-chan, except yours is darker. I'm sorry but I don't know who your mother is…"

Tomoyo barely controlled a gasp. She had grown out her hair upon Queen Sonomi's pleas for her to do so, "so that I can be reminded of the cousin and sister I lost."

"M-my mother is Queen Sonomi…" Tomoyo's head was spinning. _Nadeshiko._ Not many people were named after that flower. And only the nobility had tutors. How many women named Nadeshiko could run away with a tutor? Tomoyo quickly did the mental math: if Princess Nadeshiko had first given birth to a son at the age of seventeen, followed several years later by a daughter, then yes, Sakura could be that daughter.

A girl who resembled Nadeshiko. A family with the skills of nobility. She needed to calm down, because she remembered her mother threatening to kill the man—whose name she could not yet remember—who had "stolen" Nadeshiko away. Tomoyo refused to say anything until she had definite proof.

"Oh, I've seen portraits of Queen Sonomi! I think that's where you get your beauty," Sakura said admiringly.

"Er, thank you." Tomoyo said. "My mother is a very kind person, although her duties often take her away from her family."

"I'm sorry," Sakura's eyes lit up with sympathy. "But Tomoyo-chan, let's be friends, how about that?"

"I'd like it very much." Tomoyo clasped Sakura's hands in hers, and Sakura happily giggled. "It's late; I am sorry for keeping you up. Shall I see you tomorrow then?"

"All right. Good night!" Sakura waved cheerfully, then entered her quarters.

Tomoyo stood in the garden for a little while longer, until a rustle alerted her to someone else's presence.

"You can come out now," she said calmly.

"How did you know I was there?" Syaoran complained.

"I did not know it was you, but I do know two things. First, only elite students can enter this section of the school; it's warded against everyone else. Second, that Sakura was supposed to be alone while training with Xiaolang… and yet you knew every detail of their duel," Tomoyo smiled.

Syaoran cursed himself for his carelessness. "Does she know?"

"Not yet."

"So… er… she's not an orphan?"

"Li-kun," Tomoyo turned to face him. "You watch her all the time."

"I… No! Of course not…" Syaoran was glad for the darkness, which hid the blush that was staining his cheeks as though he were some fumbling ten-year-old.

Tomoyo smiled again, then decided to cut him some slack. "You heard everything, I'm sure."

"Her family? Yes, I did. She can read and write?"

"Li-kun," Tomoyo said quietly, "she could be the daughter of my aunt."

"Is that a problem?" Syaoran asked.

"No, because I don't particularly care to ascend to the throne of my mother unless absolutely necessary. But if Sakura is who I think she is, then…" Tomoyo looked up at the sky. "My mother would be happy to know she is safe. But she put a price on the head of the man who swept my aunt Nadeshiko away... and if I'm right, that man is alive, and is Sakura's father."

Syaoran immediately understood. "Say nothing. No need to stir up trouble."

"As I thought." Tomoyo nodded. "Thank you, Li-kun. Good night." She entered her own quarters, leaving Syaoran standing outside.

The moon came out, and Syaoran smiled, stretching out his arms to bask in its rays. After a while, with a parting glance at Sakura's door, he left for his own chambers.

**

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**

"My Lord, you want us to find a certain Fujitaka Kinomoto and his son?" the mercenary leader asked.

Xiaolang nodded, and passed over a bag with some gold coins in it. "It's an advance payment. Take carrier pigeons with you as well so that I can be apprised of what you find."

The mercenary leader bowed, and took his leave.

Xiaolang crossed over to a window and sighed. Ever since that episode with Meilin Li a week ago, he had been fighting a dark side of himself. He reckoned that staying away from Shiroihana for the meantime would help while he searched for a way to counteract the magic of the polluted scroll.

It meant not seeing Sakura, and his insides churned. He missed her, and he knew he was losing valuable time he could be using to win her over. But he knew—if his nightly dreams were any indication—that he would not be able to fully govern himself if he were in her presence. As it was, the sensual nightly dreams left him moaning and unfulfilled; worse, something cruel inside of him was beginning to stir and there were times when Xiaolang fought himself in his mind. That part of him was urging him to use the scroll on Sakura, to claim her for his own. Fighting that part was beginning to be very difficult; he was especially vulnerable to it at night, when he could not fight the sensual dreams he had of Sakura.

_Why me?_ he wondered, then he laughed at his own defeatist thoughts. _I am strong. Meilin Li is magic-less, and cannot be allowed to have this power over me. I will end this, then I will make up for lost time._

Mice caught in a trap know that freedom is just inches away—and so it was with Xiaolang as well.

His father observed him with dismay. _He's stronger than I thought,_ Fei Wang Reed observed. Xiaolang was resisting the spell with almost superhuman strength, but it was taking a toll on him; nightly, the boy had to relieve himself with certain manipulations, and in the last few days, he'd taken to bedding girls in complete darkness, moaning Sakura's name as he reached his peak.

Fei Wang felt no remorse about sacrificing his own son's well being for his ambitions. He reasoned that once Xiaolang had bedded Sakura, the young man would be happy. Hence he believed he was doing no wrong in exposing Xiaolang to the scroll's evil aura.

_Things must move along faster. _Fei Wang cast about in his divinations of the future for a way to force his son back to Shiroihana.

And when the solution occurred to him, he smiled. That afternoon, as Xiaolang practiced his forms, a mirror was moved into his bedroom, one attuned to Sakura Kinomoto's movements. Jealousy would take care of the rest once he had prodded Meilin Li in her dreams to say the words he needed to stir up Syaoran Li.

**

* * *

**

Sakura had been at Shiroihana for a month now, and she was learning magic at a fast rate. Other things, though, were proving difficult for her; while she excelled in swimming and running, martial arts seemed beyond her grasp.

She and Tomoyo drew closer together, the latter waiting for a response from Queen Sonomi regarding her questions about Nadeshiko. Tomoyo had given the excuse that she was studying history, and wished to know about the aunt she had never met.

Everyone at Shiroihana was relieved when Xiaolang had sent a polite message several days after his first lesson with Sakura, saying he was preoccupied with certain matters and would send word as to when he could return to train Sakura again. Meilin even joked that Sakura must have humiliated him so badly the first time around, he dared not return.

No progress had been made by Yue, Kaho, and Eriol regarding the strange discovery Eriol had made regarding The Shot scroll, although Eriol had asked permission to leave for Kuroyama on a special research mission.

The four elite students had welcomed Sakura into their ranks, and they had settled into an easy friendship. Sakura never brought up the issue of the bullying that had greeted her at first, and soon, it faded into a memory. Everyone expressed surprise at Meilin's about-face; she had apparently thawed towards Sakura and Meilin put it down to 'protecting my territory'—that territory being Syaoran—even though she herself had no idea why she had been so irrational about him.

Syaoran's behavior sometimes confused Sakura; he could be unbearably tender at times, patiently tutoring her when she did not understand a spell or lesson—then he would be gruff and dismissive when others were around. She decided to chalk it up to moodiness, and she was partly right.

But those moments were oh so sweet. During their one-on-one training some time ago, Syaoran had surprised Sakura by giving her a treat as they took a break: he'd saved a portion of the fried shrimp she liked and given it to her in the afternoon hours, when the kitchen was closed.

When Sakura had thanked him happily, he had looked away and refused to respond when she thanked him eagerly. Yet the next day, he'd done it again; Sakura later learned that he'd befriended the kitchen staff and bribed them to save those portions of the food she liked for later. Soon he was regularly bringing her treats, and Sakura learned to save peaches in exchange. They would eat the fruits afterwards, the juice trickling down their chins, and Sakura was always thrilled when Syaoran would reach out and remove the juice with a finger. Those moments were joyful; away from the prying eyes of the other students, Syaoran learned to talk to Sakura easily. He'd told her about his deceased father, and how Syaoran wanted to bring glory to the Li name by being an heir worthy of his reputation; about his magnificent mother Yelan Li, a sorceress in her own right; and his four silly sisters, who loved him and were loved by him in return.

Sakura told Syaoran stories of her own life, and Syaoran marveled at the joy she took in simple chores like doing the dishes, cooking, cleaning the house… He asked her what it was like to go to market, to do chores, and Sakura, amused, taught him how to cook and clean so he could experience it for himself.

Sakura confided all these to Tomoyo, who gently advised Sakura to just let things flow. Sakura was afraid that she might be too familiar with a boy who was a scion of a wealthy, influential family, and Tomoyo had told her that things like that didn't matter for a girl who was the Card Mistress.

"To be with you is an honor," Tomoyo said as she embroidered winter robes she was going to gift the other elite students with: a wolf for Syaoran, a rose for Meilin, the moon for Eriol, and naturally, sakura blossoms for Sakura (though that robe she worked on when Sakura was not around). Sakura was helping her with the thread and she was plying a second needle for the outer embroidery.

"Tomoyo-chan, do you know," and Sakura blushed, "why is he so hard to understand? I mean, we both seem to enjoy our afternoon snacks together, so why is he kind of rude when you and the others are around?"

"Perhaps," and Tomoyo smiled, "you ought to be asking yourself what you want."

"I want to be with him," Sakura replied without hesitation. "I want to spend time with him—but I wish it could be with all of you, as friends."

"Friends?" Tomoyo's brows lifted in amusement. "My dear Sakura-chan, let me ask you this: are you going home when the winter holidays arrive?"

"No," Sakura said slowly. "I don't have anywhere to go…"

"I meant no offense," Tomoyo said quickly. "But know this: Eriol is leaving, and so are Meilin and I. Syaoran, however, asked to stay behind. And he got permission to do so." She smiled and did not add the rest: Syaoran had given the reason that "a Clow card might appear and we can't leave the Card Mistress alone."

"How does that make you feel?" she asked Sakura.

Sakura's mouth opened in a soundless "Oh." She blushed, then "Hanyaan! I will be with him, just him, during the winter holidays?"

Tomoyo smiled. "What would you like to happen then?"

"I… I would… I don't know…" The fierce blush on Sakura's cheeks told Tomoyo the rest of the story. She took Sakura's hands in her own.

"What matters is what you want and how you feel. Once you've made up your mind on that, the rest comes easily, don't you see?"

Sakura gripped Tomoyo's hands. "Thank you so much." She hugged Tomoyo, then drew back, a hand over her mouth. "Sorry! I did that without thinking! Please forgive me!"

To her surprise, Tomoyo hugged her back. "Then you must forgive me as well."

The two girls smiled at each other, then Tomoyo clapped her hands. "Now then… we have to plan what you will wear during the break!"

* * *

On a cool day at the end of autumn, Sakura fell asleep under a peach tree as she struggled with a history book that talked, in long-winded sentences, about Clow's life and times. She had woken up after lunch with a crick in her neck, a painful one.

Sakura groaned; now what? Her stomach rumbled as well; she was hungry. But she doubted the dining hall would still be open, so she headed for the infirmary first. On the way there, she ran into Syaoran.

"Where have you been? You missed lunch," he said, somewhat irritably.

Sakura grinned at him weakly. "Sorry. I…"

"You don't look all right," he said as he looked at her.

"It's my neck," Sakura said. "I'm going to ask for a remedy for it; I fell asleep in a bad position and, well, it hurts." She was cautious around Syaoran because she knew that when others were around, he tended to be aloof with her. Around them the other students were milling, trying to get to their classes or the workshops they were supposed to be in.

Syaoran looked at her for a long while. Dare he tell her he'd spent the lunch hour looking for her? _Of course not._ He instead said, "Silly girl. Come with me."

He led her to the dining hall; no one else was around, but two places were set next to each other.

"You saved these?" Sakura asked incredulously.

Syaoran swallowed, then lied, "It would be a waste of food so I thought it would be best to find you and make sure you ate."

Sakura looked at him; clearly, he hadn't eaten yet. "Thank you, Syaoran-kun," she said softly.

"Just eat," was all he said. He sat down; gingerly, she sat beside him. He handed her a bowl of rice, and she topped it with soyed pork belly slices, fried breaded shrimp, and tamago, her favorite sweet egg roll. Two steaming bowls of chicken broth and vegetables were also on the table. They were her favorite dishes, and she looked at Syaoran.

"Thank you."

"For what?" he feigned ignorance.

Sakura giggled. "These are my favorite dishes. I know Eriol-kun doesn't like pork belly, and neither does Tomoyo-chan. Meilin-chan doesn't like broccoli in her chicken soup, so…"

Syaoran chose to place some pork into his mouth to forestall any stammering on his part. They ate, first in silence, then Sakura piped up.

"You made the breaded shrimp, didn't you?" She smiled at him.

_How did she know?_ Syaoran wondered, and his cheeks betrayed him by reddening.

"W-what makes you say that?"

"You like things a bit sweet, and I can taste the honey in the batter," Sakura said. "It's very nice. Thank you."

Syaoran nodded, and once they finished the meal, he held out his hand to her. Out of curiosity, Sakura took it and followed him; _how easily her hand fits into mine, _Syaoran thought.

He led her to his quarters and bade her sit on some cushions, then he lit up some incense with eucalyptus.

"Mmm, that smells great," Sakura said.

He said nothing; he was rummaging in a chest for something, and out came a vial of oil. Syaoran sat behind her, then said, "Relax."

Sakura felt some oil being poured on her; it was fragrant with tea tree oil and mint. Syaoran's hands came down firmly on her shoulders, massaging in firm circles, working out the knot in her neck with skill.

She fought a shudder; his hands on her shoulders and neck were giving her a delicious thrill, and his nearness to her made her think of wanting to turn and offer him her lips…

_No!_ Sakura tensed up again as a result.

"Hey," Syaoran said, "you're tensing up again. Don't fight me. Give in to it. Here, lie face down on the cushions so I can work on it."

Grateful for the excuse to hide her flaming cheeks, Sakura settled gingerly on the cushions and closed her eyes, giving herself up to the release his ministrations produced in her. Occasionally he would press certain spots hard with his thumb; the momentary pain would be replaced by a glorious unknotting of tension in the area.

She didn't realize she had drifted off to sleep until a hand gently moved some hair off her face. Hazily she realized it was Syaoran, and to her surprise, he gently kept on stroking her hair.

_It feels so nice,_ Sakura thought, and she smiled.

Syaoran, looking down at her, could not keep himself from stroking her soft hair. He'd moved her head, and the cushion it rested on, into his lap; Sakura looked so peaceful and trusting, and he smiled as he saw her smile in her sleep. What was she dreaming of? He often wished he had the nerve to get to know her better, not just when they were alone, to learn more about her life than he already did, but he always had to hide behind his façade of aloofness because he was too shy to do anything about his feelings.

_Yes,_ Syaoran admitted, _I like her_. He couldn't explain it; how had she changed his opinion of her without even trying? He sighed and when Sakura turned and murmured as she slept, he found the nerve to touch her cheek. His finger then traced the little bow of her lips, and he found himself wishing he had the nerve to kiss her.

From the open doorway, Meilin watched them. Sakura and Syaoran looked… perfect together, and she felt the tears come down her cheeks. Syaoran looked happier than he'd ever been with the pretty Card Mistress in his lap.

_Why couldn't it have been me? _she wondered. _What did I lack that he saw in her?_

She turned to leave; she couldn't bear to see more, and she bumped into Eriol.

"Spying on Syaoran?" he teased. He peeked inside, and saw Syaoran tenderly stroking Sakura's cheek as she slept in his lap. It was such a sweet picture that he smiled.

"Your self-control is amazing. Why don't you march in there and put a stop to it?" he joked.

When he saw her tears, Eriol's smile faded. He reached out to touch Meilin, who flinched and backed away.

"Meilin… I'm so sorry…" he attempted to apologize.

Her chin quivered, then she spun on her heels and ran away, locking herself into her quarters.

Eriol stared at her, and a sinking feeling took hold of him. Had this been Meilin of just a few weeks earlier, there would have been a screaming fight. She would have thrown Sakura out of Syaoran's quarters, threatened her with bodily harm, and yelled at Syaoran until she was hoarse. Her quiet misery scared him because the abrupt change in her demeanor pointed to one explanation he did not want at all.

On Kuroyama that evening, Fei Wang Reed was scrying Meilin's memories. When he summoned her image in his mirror, he saw that the girl was crying herself to sleep.

_Interesting. _He smiled and cast a spell to put her to sleep, then he entered her mind to search for the trigger to her sorrow.

He didn't have far to look; the lovely little scene of Syaoran with Sakura sleeping peacefully in his lap was at the forefront of Meilin's mind.

_This cannot be good._ Fei Wang frowned. With Xiaolang staying away from Shiroihana, the field was wide open for Syaoran, and it seemed that his relationship with Sakura was going well.

Too well.

So he began to weave Meilin's emotions into what he wanted: the control she had asserted over her feelings for Syaoran, Fei Wang snapped like a weak thread, and he let the resentment and jealousy overlie it. He then created a scene in Meilin's mind: confrontation, accusations, a subtle pushing of Syaoran's weak spots to make him react badly, and a suggestion for Meilin to act upon it and play on Syaoran's pride.

Something inside Meilin protested, and Fei Wang ruthlessly sealed that part of Meilin's conscience away; it was an inconvenience. In truth he would have much preferred to simply kill Syaoran, but ancient magics protected him at Shiroihana… and damn his mother Yelan Li for knowing it!

But this time he would win over the Lis. Sakura would belong to Xiaolang come springtime… he would make absolutely sure of that. The collection of the ingredients for The Shot ritual was almost complete, and once they were, he was sure his son would be ready to stir the pot at Shiroihana into a roiling boil of chaos.

**To be continued in Chapter 8, up within a week—or less, see preview below!**

* * *

**Notes:** I know it's ch 7 already and no SxS has really happened until now; your thoughts? Have I gone too fast?

The list of Sakura's favorite food is as close as I can get from the anime; some of the food I can't identify, but if you look at the bentos she eats in the series and the food she gets mad over when Touya steals it (fried shrimp is her favorite, based on the Season 3 episode where Eriol enchants Touya's bicycle).

Syaoran tends to go slow, but when he does want something, he is steadfast and patient. His awkwardness here with Sakura is a grown up version of his awkwardness with her in the anime.

I decided not to make Tomoyo a camera-wielding "I love Sakura!" maniac here because I believe there is more depth to her than that. Here she is looking for family (as in chapters 4 and 5) and for her to realize that Sakura is family is something that makes her happy.

Meilin, poor Meilin… What could be the effect of all the probes into her mind, all the mind control, the tampering with her memories?

* * *

Here's a preview of the turning point next chapter. It will be up by Friday (yaay fast!) But I figured if I can get ten or more reviews sooner than that (hah I wish) I can post it immediately! Any chance of that? Anyway do leave me a review, thanks so much!

_Meilin's eyes narrowed. "You're falling for that little stray cat," she accused._

"_No! No I'm not!" Syaoran said._

"_Oh yeah right," Meilin rolled her eyes. "You're always looking at her. You let her call you 'Syaoran'. You try to be alone with her all the time…"_

"_Shut it right now, Meilin, before I shut it for you…"_

"_Yeah? Go on, Syaoran!" Meilin yelled. "You luurrve Sakura. You want her so bad, don't you? You look like Xiaolang when he looks at her! Hey, he's coming here tomorrow. Maybe you two can have a staring contest, winner gets Sakura. Whoever makes the mooniest face at her wins!"_

"_Shut up! Shut up, you…" Syaoran yelled back._

"_Yeah? You're gonna lose to Xiaolang. He's always been more suave than you," Meilin taunted. "She'll be eating out of his hand within days." She knew the limits of what Syaoran's pride could tolerate, and she knew he would make some kind of challenge soon._

_Provoked beyond his tolerance, Syaoran lowered his voice. "I will not lose to Xiaolang. I'll show you. Sakura will be in love with me before a year is out. You hear me?"_

"_No, she won't," Meilin laughed. "She'll be Xiaolang's…"_

"_Sakura will confess to me, and you will be there to hear it!"_

"_Make it a bet," Meilin's expression had become calculating and shrewd; she had Syaoran where she thought she wanted him to be. "You must not lose your own heart in the process. Make her love you then spurn her when she confesses, else you become the coward of the Li clan!"_

"_All right, fine!" Syaoran recklessly agreed. "I swear it upon my pride! Are you happy now?"_

_

* * *

_

Thank you for the reviews: **DN Angel and Cardcaptor Sakura,** maybe you'll change your mind about Meilin now? hehe. **winterkaguya,** Yes! I wanted to show how things can make victims of everyone even if they're not involved. Perhaps you'll change your mind about Syaoran now? Re Eriol: In an earlier chapter he is doubted when he tells people about his father. Poor Meilin is also being used by Xiaolang's father. It's just in keeping with Fei Wang Reed's scarily selfish personality in Tsubasa, heh heh. **poems2songs**, Overconfidence and pride are two things Xiaolang and Syaoran share. There's two more coming up, hehe. Here you go with the chapter, hope this answers it! **beaucoup riant**, (blush) thank you so much for seeing that! I hope I've built up to the revelation about Meilin here. **XxSakura-HimexX**, My bad, I had to move the Kero scene to the next chapter to make way for the SxS fluff here; I hope it's a fair trade. Syaoran, angry at Xiaolang? noo, why would he be? LOL **lil ramen lover,** Eee, I love those kinds too (hearts) Have you heard of Vampire Knight? My current love haha, so many noble bad boys there. Meilin isn't that much of an idiot...but as for Fei Wang, hey, the guy killed so many clones and people in Tsubasa, I figured he wouldn't care about using his son for his purposes XD **Shiona Acitiu**, I am happy to hear that (: I love writing his scenes, so when he transforms next chapter, I felt so sad for him. **MikoKagome1113**, Hope you don't mind that I posted this first, sorry if I bothered you. Thanks for understanding why this may have to go to M soon. I wrote that part about Meilin in after your wonderful comments last time. As for SxS, I am still worried I rushed them into the fluff this chapter...sigh, but then things have to move! So I decided to go ahead. And OMG THANK YOU for catching that GLARING error (hides in shame). **BunnyParfait**, hee hee, here's the next one and look, I have the next chapter done in advance! Lol yes, I've asked and seems 4-5K words is something people enjoy. Happy holidays as well! **brokenshadow23**, wow thanks for the PM! I figured Syaoran is a little less touchy-feely than Xiaolang, but he can be almost heartbreakingly sweet in the anime and manga, so I tried to recreate that here. Congratulations on surviving hell week! **Musette Fujiwara**, wow! Yes, yes that's what I tried to do! I don't intend to make this a tragedy, though...I would love to hear your opinion. Hope this works for you!


	8. False Halcyon

**Addiction Chapter 8: False Halcyon**

_I don't own the characters, only the plot. Rating WILL go up to M next chapter because of something that happens between Syaoran and Sakura :D . Mild crossover with the use of Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles (TRC) characters. No spoilers for the various twists and the manga ending of Tsubasa (so kindly don't spoil that ending for anyone else if you've read it since all I've done is borrow characters). Xiaolang is modeled physically after the Evil Clone in TRC, but has his own personality here._

**Author's note:** SQUEE! I love love love you guys for the reviews last chapter! As promised, here's the next one ahead of schedule. Review responses after the spoiler for next chapter. Thank you to MikoKagome 1113 for the crucial piece of advice that helped this chapter along. She's working on chapter 9, and I should have it back by this weekend. You can probably guess how to hurry me along with the revision and posting (winks utterly shamelessly): send me a review! (I know, I know, sorry!)

* * *

**From Chapter 7:** _This cannot be good.__ Fei Wang frowned. With Xiaolang staying away from Shiroihana, the field was wide open for Syaoran, and it seemed that his relationship with Sakura was going well._

_Too well._

_So he began to weave Meilin's emotions into what he wanted: the control she had asserted over her feelings for Syaoran, Fei Wang snapped like a weak thread, and he let the resentment and jealousy overlie it. He then created a scene in Meilin's mind: confrontation, accusations, a subtle pushing of Syaoran's weak spots to make him react badly, and a suggestion for Meilin to act upon it and play on Syaoran's pride._

_Something inside Meilin protested, and Fei Wang ruthlessly sealed that part of Meilin's conscience away; it was an inconvenience. In truth he would have much preferred to simply kill Syaoran, but ancient magics protected him at Shiroihana… and damn his mother Yelan Li for knowing it!_

_But this time he would win over the Lis. Sakura would belong to Xiaolang come springtime… he would make absolutely sure of that. The collection of the ingredients for The Shot ritual was almost complete, and once they were, he was sure his son would be ready to stir the pot at Shiroihana into a roiling boil of chaos._

* * *

Eriol did not feel the need to inform the other elite students of where he was going; he was sure they would object. But he needed to do research on The Shot, because if he was right, Sakura was in danger, and his honor demanded that he do what he could to protect her.

"Not going to tell me where you're going?" Syaoran said as Eriol packed his traveling sack.

"I'll be back soon," Eriol reassured him. "I need to do this."

"I just wish you would stay," Syaoran kicked the wall lightly.

Eriol smiled. "You can handle Sakura," he said wisely.

"I… No… What made you say th- that?"

"We've practically grown up together. I know you like her. Take it easy," Eriol said.

"Shut up! I never said I liked her!" Syaoran said, turning red.

Rolling his eyes, Eriol mocked him. "Okay, you don't like her. You hate her. You think the world's better without her." He heaved the sack over his shoulder, escorted Syaoran out of his chambers, then locked it.

"Aren't you going to seal it?" Syaoran asked.

"I have no ofudas for anyone to steal," Eriol said.

"Fine. You take care then," Syaoran said.

The two walked to the front gates of Kuroyama in a companionable silence.

Eriol placed a hand on Syaoran's shoulder. "I'll be back as soon as I can, old friend. I wouldn't leave this school if it weren't urgent, and if it were not a case of my honor demanding that I do something."

"It involves Sakura then," Syaoran said; he knew Eriol had vowed to protect and help her in return for the proof she provided that Clow Reed was still out there somewhere, and there was a chance for father and son to meet.

"You're just jealous because I'm doing something important for her and you're stuck here slipping off into places where you and she can be alone," Eriol teased.

"Like I care," Syaoran shot back.

Smiling, Eriol tossed back the comment he knew would shut Syaoran up. "If I were you, I'd kiss Sakura soon. Be sure to kiss her breathless for me. But I wouldn't bed her until I was ready to marry her. Sakura isn't the kind of girl you fornicate with and leave. She's the special kind you marry and love forever."

"I… Hey! You… you moron… You jerk!" Syaoran blushed furiously…because his thoughts had been heading in that direction to begin with.

Eriol merely waved from beyond the gate and yelled, "Remember to kiss her!" at Syaoran.

* * *

Tomoyo gently stroked Meilin's hair as the latter wept in her lap.

"It's not fair! I love him! I'm the one who loved him the most, and then this girl just walks in and takes his heart… And you know what burns me? She has no idea how easy it was for her! She doesn't even seem to share his feelings! If-if you'd just seen how he looked at her… Damn it!" Meilin pounded a fist on the hard floor; Tomoyo flinched when she struck it hard enough to make herself bleed.

Without comment Tomoyo gently took Meilin's hand in hers and wiped off the blood; she reached for her herb kit and rubbed a paste on the skin where it cracked.

"Oh. Thank you. I'm sorry," Meilin said, sniffling.

Quietly raising Meilin's face, Tomoyo said, "Please do not blame yourself. None of us can control whom we love. You love Syaoran, and sometimes you act strangely because of him. But do not let this pain control you, else it lead you into a situation you cannot redeem yourself from."

"I…" Meilin swallowed. "It would be easier if she returned his feelings. That way I know there's no room for me in his heart."

"Perhaps she does, perhaps she doesn't," Tomoyo said; she did not reveal that she knew Sakura liked Syaoran as well because it wasn't her place to say so to Meilin. "But what matters is how you feel, and right now you're not happy because you want Syaoran, yet you also seem to be reluctant to hurt Sakura by confronting her. You've changed, Meilin."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Meilin said. "I would never… are you suggesting I would be rude to Sakura? I sort of like her, what are you talking about?"

"When Sakura first arrived here, you were mean to her. You even locked her out of the academy. So why did you change?"

"What? Don't go telling stories just because you're a princess," Meilin said angrily.

Tomoyo looked at Meilin carefully. "You don't remember?"

"Don't say it as if I did it on purpose," Meilin said, her tears forgotten in her indignation. "I know I've been rude but I did not bully her!"

_I have to talk to Eriol about this,_ Tomoyo thought quickly. But that was not to be; she would later discover that Eriol had already left on some cryptic mission.

Out loud she said, "You'll have the winter break to think things over. You're going home to the Li stronghold?"

"Yes… alone." A shadow passed over Meilin's face. "She- he said he wanted to stay… for her."

"Then you must think hard of whether you want to force the issue."

"I'll lose face at home," Meilin hugged her knees and looked outside the window.

"Perhaps I can help," and Tomoyo smiled. "Could it be that you saw your cousin might be falling for the Card Mistress, and in the nobility of your character you found it in yourself to let them grow closer?"

Meilin's mouth opened then closed. "Ah Princess, you are a mistress of positive things. That might actually work."

"With your charm and insouciance, it will." Tomoyo impulsively gave Meilin a hug.

"Thank you. I wish I could repay you."

"Promise me that you will remain true to yourself." Tomoyo said.

"Always," Meilin smiled a sad little smile, and held one hand over her heart.

Had she known how soon she would break that promise, she would have been devastated. She had come to Tomoyo the morning after Fei Wang Reed had invaded her mind and feelings again, feeling confused and lost. Her talk with Tomoyo did her some good, and her winter break would be pensive but peaceful.

It would be Meilin's last time to find peace in a long time.

* * *

"You want to be the Card Mistress and you can't do something as basic as that?" Meilin asked as she pinned Sakura to the mat in the training dojo. "You've got to try harder than that!"

"I didn't choose to 'want to be' the Card Mistress," Sakura grunted, "it's something I _have_ to do. That hurt, by the way."

"Then try harder!" Meilin pulled Sakura up. "Come on! You can do better than that, and no excuses! Ara, I'm leaving soon, and who will train you?"

Sakura pretended to groan, but Meilin didn't fall for it; the two giggled before they reassumed their sparring positions.

Against Meilin's will, she was beginning to like Sakura; her plan to befriend and betray the girl was fading into the distance. Meilin was beginning to wonder why she had hated Sakura so; it felt like a veil had been lifted from her sight.

She still felt some resentment against Sakura for easily taking Syaoran's heart—not that either she nor Syaoran knew it. But could Meilin help but be touched when, as in a week ago, Sakura had actually told Syaoran off for being rude to Meilin?

"_She's your cousin and she loves you. Can't you be a little nicer?" Sakura had scolded Syaoran fiercely after Syaoran had told Meilin to "get off me, you stupid forceful troublesome girl!"_

_Meilin had walked off to hide her tears, pretending she was angry at Syaoran. But she had instead come upon the two of them arguing behind the dojo where it happened._

"_She keeps bothering me!" Syaoran argued, raising his voice._

"_Then be patient with her! She gave you her heart; she tells everyone she loves you…"_

"_I didn't ask for it!"_

"_Then think of how much courage it takes for Meilin-san to keep loving you even when you're like this!" Sakura had yelled back. And to Meilin's surprise, Sakura's eyes brimmed with tears._

_Syaoran had stood there looking at Sakura in surprise. He reached out a hand to touch her. "Don't cry."_

_Sakura shook him off. "How can you be so… so cruel?"_

_He flinched. "No… you don't understand… I…"_

"_Then maybe you should explain yourself better. Not to me but to Meilin-chan." Meilin watched as Sakura swiped angrily at her eyes, and the realization hit her. _

Sakura **does** care for him! She holds herself back from him because she sees what he does to me and thinks either that he'll do it to her, or that she might intrude on something between me and Syaoran!_ Meilin almost cried out, but she stopped herself in time._

_Syaoran had stepped forward and taken Sakura in his arms. "I…" He swallowed visibly. "I'll apologize to her," he said so softly, Meilin almost missed it._

_Then he kissed the top of her head so lightly, Sakura never noticed._

"_You promise?" Sakura looked up at the tall young man._

"_I do," Syaoran smiled a tiny smile—but a smile nonetheless._

_Meilin thought she had already accepted Syaoran's feelings for Sakura but this… She turned and fled into her chambers to cry herself to sleep. When Syaoran had later come knocking on her door, she'd ignored him, despite his repeated pleas for her to open up; when he'd tried to apologize the next morning, she airily ignored him and said, "You can't hurt me anyway."_

_Lies._

_Lies like the ones she told when she tried to convince everyone she was all right. Even though she knew her mind was hazy, and Tomoyo kept insisting that she ought to remember how she had acted when Sakura had first arrived at Shiroihana._

_What Meilin did not know was that once the scroll had been delivered to Xiaolang, his father had erased her memories of the incident in a dream. Her mind was wide open to him because she had been weakened by the polluting influence of The Shot scroll. _

_She would never admit to being embarrassed by her actions with Syaoran and Sakura, though, and she blithely pressed on with staking her claim on her cousin. And now she was training Sakura in the martial arts so she could 'show' Syaoran who was the 'better girl.' _

_But Meilin proceeded to blind herself to what was happening between Sakura and Syaoran; because of Yue's insistence, the two often trained together in preparation for catching Clow cards. Now the two often disappeared together, and during mealtimes, she would see Syaoran watching Sakura from the corner of his eyes. He would follow her movements when they were together in classes, and he was always aware of where she was and what she did._

_More disturbingly, Meilin realized she had periods of blank memories, but in her stubbornness, she insisted to herself that it meant nothing, and refused to confide in Tomoyo, who kept asking her about what she remembered._

I'm all right, _she thought fiercely. _I can take care of myself.

They resumed sparring. As Meilin flew at Sakura, Sakura tried to read her moves; consequently, she missed the kick that Meilin stopped less than an inch from her head.

"Ara, what shall we do with you?" Meilin held her arms akimbo. "Go back to the mirror and practice your forms, go! I refuse to hurt you because you're careless." She swept away to help their teacher Terada-sensei with the other students.

As Meilin walked away, Sakura sighed and tried to go through the "water-flowing-in-a-pebble-free-river" movements, pretending to counter an attack, but since she could not see her attacker, she didn't know how to defend herself properly.

She almost went down due to a wild kick, but someone caught her. Without even looking, she knew who it was, and Sakura could feel a blush creeping across her cheeks; Syaoran had been watching her spar with Meilin. Even in his white gi, slightly stained with sweat, and his hair ruffled from his exertions, Syaoran was still quite handsome, and Sakura despaired of ever being free of blushes when he was around.

That day she had fallen asleep in his quarters, she had woken up to find him looking at her with an expression she could not read. She had blushed, jerked away from him, and apologized profusely—only to find he had left the room.

What she did not know was that Syaoran suffered the same way; he had left the room because he had almost been about to kiss her when she'd woken up. Embarrassed, he dodged away from her when she had jerked away from him.

He hadn't really gotten over the incident, and was still mortified—yet strangely thrilled—at his loss of control. Worse was his longing to touch Sakura again. Right now he was using his natural arrogance to hide the fact that she made him feel awkward. Her eyes fascinated him; he wanted to touch her; he wanted to be near her. He'd controlled his blushing with a lot of effort, and he knew he'd approached her because he just wanted to talk to her, to be with her.

Not knowing that she wanted to be with him too.

"You're trying to read Meilin's moves," Syaoran said quietly. "What you should do is learn how to counter attacks first. Reading moves is an advanced technique; you need to master the basics first."

"Okay," Sakura said. "But it seems so hard…"

"No, it's not." In the background, Meilin was taking over the training of some of the ordinary students upon Terada-sensei's request. The noise and the wild kicks of some of the students was distracting.

"Come with me," Syaoran beckoned to Sakura. "We'll do this away from the crowd. That way you might relax."

He was surprised when, as they exited the dojo, she clasped his hand, at first to stop him from moving too fast. But he looked at her, and her eyes were wide with the plea for him not to make her trail behind him as he usually did.

And so they walked hand in hand, slowly. Outside the courtyard was cold; greenery was dying off as winter was arriving. But the warmth Syaoran felt as Sakura's hand was in his—he looked at her and smiled a rare tender smile.

"You dislike cold," Sakura said when he frowned at the first signs of frost.

"I was born in the summer, in July," Syaoran said.

"Spring, for me," she said cheerfully. "But I like snow, and I like summer."

"You sound like you like all the seasons," he said, amused.

"Well, what's not to like? When the snow falls, we can have a snowball fight. Without magic, how about that?"

"I'll beat you. I won't lose to you," Syaoran grinned.

"Hah. First snowfall, Syaoran-kun. First one to yield or use magic has to make seven meals for the winner," Sakura teased.

"Then you had better be ready to make my favorite dishes, because you shall definitely be conquered by me," Syaoran said boastfully, his fingers tightening around hers. She squeezed back, and he added, "I'll give you a list."

She merely smiled, and Syaoran, after a pause, continued leading her past the buildings of the Academy, to a small shaded clearing just outside the walls of Shiroihana. Small birds twittered in the branches of a sakura tree, bare of its blossoms as winter was coming. One of them took a particular interest in the pair—and, though they knew it not, observed them for Xiaolang.

There he taught her how to breathe first, then led her through the forms of t'ai ch'i. As he expected, she picked the forms up quickly; she seemed to learn faster when the teacher was quiet and patient (though he would never admit he'd picked that up from Xiaolang's first lesson with Sakura), and there was little pressure.

After a while he taught her how to attack and parry. Sakura, focused on the forms and on the lesson, did not notice how Syaoran was turning pink as he touched her. They did some mock sparring, and Syaoran critiqued her form and breathing. After a while, he took her through basic sparring. It was strangely enjoyable, and Syaoran would smile at Sakura every now and then in an encouraging manner, and she would try to hide her blush.

"All right. Now I think you can attack me. Try any variation on the techniques I taught you," Syaoran said, walking off to be ten paces away from Sakura.

"If you're sure," she began doubtfully, looking at the ground.

"The grass remaining here will cushion any falls." Syaoran almost laughed; she was worried about that? "And I'll take it easy. Mind though, Sakura, if you want to learn, you'll have to accept pain as being part of the lesson."

"And avoid it if I can," she said, still skeptical.

"I won't hurt you," he promised.

"I thought pain was part of the lesson?" she bantered back.

Syaoran didn't answer, merely standing still in an attitude of patient waiting. He closed his eyes, hiding his fabulous amber eyes from Sakura's gaze, and she could almost see him loosening his muscles, relaxing in preparation for combat.

_Gods, he is beautiful, _Sakura thought. But more importantly than that, she loved it when they were alone. She was beginning to understand a little; he seemed shy of displays of affection, and she'd confirmed it with Tomoyo. His kindness, thoughtfulness—all helped make up for his displays of pride when in front of others.

After watching Syaoran for a while, Sakura realized she was staring, and turned red. She suddenly flew at him, recklessly attacking with chops of her hands.

Syaoran, surprised by her attitude, was a bit slow to defend himself. But he parried her attacks, catching even her kicks, though when he caught one high-aimed kick, he threw Sakura off balance. She instinctively clung to him to try and regain her balance; unprepared, Syaoran went down with her. He managed to tuck her in his arms before they fell.

"Ooof!" Sakura grunted.

"Are you all right?" Syaoran was on top of her; their legs were entangled.

"Yes. I…" Sakura looked up, blinking. He was so close to her, and she could smell his natural scent. Again she thought of how handsome he was, and she was unable to continue her sentence.

It wasn't like Syaoran could speak either. He was looking into Sakura's large green eyes, framed by thick lashes. He was slowly beginning to see what her true beauty was, and to have it this close made her impossible to resist.

She lowered her eyes and curled her fingers in the front of his gi, blushing. Syaoran knew he should push himself off her, get up and make sure she was all right, but he could just feel how soft, how right she felt in his arms.

What would her lips taste like? Syaoran had bedded his share of girls, and he could tell from her reactions that Sakura was a virgin. But he didn't feel only the need to see her body, to taste her and explore her most intimate secrets; he also felt as though he wanted to preserve the moment, to keep her in his arms, safe from the rest of the world.

His nose was touching Sakura's own nose; Sakura struggled to keep her eyes open. Yes, she had known Syaoran over a month now, but wouldn't he think she was some kind of a cheap whore if she gave in so quickly to… to what looked like him wanting to kiss her?

That was when Syaoran felt an odd aura. He pulled Sakura to her feet quickly.

"Did you feel that?" He summoned his sword by clapping his hands together.

"Feel…what?" Sakura was still shaky, and to her chagrin, she felt disappointed when Syaoran jerked away from her.

"Close your eyes," Syaoran instructed, though he kept his sword out and was holding his arms protectively in front of Sakura. "Feel that aura."

"How…"

"Just do it!" Syaoran barked.

Sakura obeyed him, feeling a little foolish; Syaoran was muttering about being annoyed at leaving his ranshinban board behind in his quarters. He was moving towards her left side, and she was puzzled by his actions.

Then she felt it. Something was radiating towards her; for want of words Sakura thought it was like a challenge, like something energetic off to her left side.

"There!" she pointed.

"Take out the Key!" Syaoran instructed. "Summon it, hurry up!"

Again, Sakura obeyed; once the pink staff was in her hands, Syaoran said, "I'll distract it. You get ready to seal it. You remember how, right?"

Sakura quickly recalled her lessons with Xiaolang. "Yes!"

A large tiger, bristling and crackling with some strange energy, hove into view, and Sakura screamed.

"It's the card!" Syaoran yelled. "It's Thunder! Stay where you are!"

"H-how do you know?"

"Can we discuss that later?" Syaoran lifted his sword; though he didn't need it for the spell, he figured the weapon would come in handy if anything else happened. He advanced on the tiger, which snarled at him and pawed the ground.

"No!" Sakura began to run to Syaoran. "You might get hurt!"

"Idiot! I was _trained_ for this!" Syaoran snapped. "Now get back where I told you to stay!"

Then he noticed that Sakura was preparing to cast Windy. "No! Thunder is an attack card and Windy can't stand up to it. You'll just tire yourself. Let me weaken it first!"

Frustrated, Sakura said, "Then what can I do?"

"Wait! Wait for it to weaken."

"I can't just do nothing!"

"You can and you will!" Syaoran bellowed at her. "Don't be stupid, let me handle this and be ready to seal it on my signal!"

"Raitei shourai!" he called, and lightning struck the tiger. He repeated the process thrice, then when the tiger began to spark and back off, he turned to Sakura. "Now!"

"Return to your rightful form, Clow Card!" Sakura yelled as she raised the staff. Light shot out of the staff and coalesced into a card-like shape; the tiger dissolved and faded into the card.

"Good!" Syaoran ran towards her; the card floated towards him.

"Oh." Sakura watched as he caught it. "So it's yours now?"

"Don't be ridiculous." Syaoran was using the harsh language he preferred when he knew he'd embarrassed himself. "Here. Take it, it's yours, you sealed it." He practically shoved the Card at her, then began walking away.

Sakura stared at him, unable to understand why he was now being abrupt with her. Hadn't he just been about to kiss her? Or was she so stupid that she didn't understand what he was doing?

Maybe he found her repulsive. Yes, perhaps that was why he had been looking that way at her earlier, in the dojo.

She sat down on the grass, sighing. Why was he so hard to understand, to figure out? For want of something to do, she took out Windy, holding it up along with Thunder. The two cards were ripe with a different energy, more sympathetic, more friendly than before they had been sealed.

"I wonder why that's so?" she murmured. "Before they turned back into cards, their energy was different. Almost hostile."

`"That's 'cause they acknowledge you as their mistress now," a small voice said.

Startled, Sakura sat up. Sitting next to her was a tiny golden winged tiger.

"Have you got some food?"

"Uh…" Sakura looked around; Syaoran was nowhere in sight. "Who are you?"

"Don't tell me no one, not even Yue, has told you who I am?" The little tiger, whom Sakura was beginning to find awfully cute, perked up one ear and raised an eyebrow. "Especially given how long it takes me to travel here from Kuroyama?"

"Mmm, no… uh," Sakura racked her brains for the things Yue had told her in their question and answer sessions. "You're… a flying… tiger?"

"Try 'guardian,' the kind that goes with the Sun," the little creature suggested with a small amount of exasperation.

"Oh! You're Cerberus-san!" Sakura stood up and bowed. "Pleased to meet you."

"Do you know how to make pudding?"

"Hoe?" Sakura looked at the tiny thing. "Yes, I can cook but…"

"Then you're number one! I'll be coming here every now and then. Just one thing; you would have thought Yue would have sensed me and would have greeted me by now," Cerberus complained.

"And I would have thought you would have remembered that I am bound to this academy," a voice from above answered. Sakura turned to see Yue on the walls above them.

"Still as bad-tempered as always," Cerberus said.

Yue's mouth quirked. "Insults, brother? Then," and he flashed a rare grin, "Sakura, you should call him Kero-chan, don't you think that suits him _because he's so cute_?"

Cerberus bristled, but Sakura smiled. "Yes, it's so cute! Kero-chan!"

"Yue!" Cerberus growled.

Yue merely smiled. "I sensed you coming a mile away."

Sakura suddenly blushed; had Yue seen what had happened between her and Syaoran? But then one could never tell, not with his calm demeanor.

As Yue and Cerberus continued to bicker, yelling insults and invectives, the birds in the sakura tree flew off.

All except one—which had watched Syaoran walk away. He had leaned against a nearby wall, then thumped it lightly.

"Why couldn't I do it?" he asked himself. "Why?"

* * *

"Damn it!" Xiaolang bellowed as he smashed his fist into the wall beside the mirror. He had seen Syaoran above Sakura, and he knew that Syaoran had been about to kiss her. He had also seen how Sakura had reacted when Syaoran walked off.

The servants of Kuroyama cowered, unwilling to seek the source of the disturbance. Xiaolang had been strangely moody lately, a change from his usual sunny demeanor that he had slowly descended into over the past few months. A steady stream of girls had been shipped into the castle, and several of them left confused and scared after having sex with Xiaolang in complete darkness. They told stories of how he called them 'Sakura' and how a strange malignant aura was present in his bedchamber.

"Calm yourself, son," Fei Wang Reed walked into Xiaolang's chambers.

"He's moving in on her!"

"Then why don't you? What's stopping you?"

Xiaolang's mismatched eyes darkened; he was losing the battle to retain his sense of self, and Fei Wang smiled.

"You're right, Father," Xiaolang's blue eye glinted. "Why should I hold back?"

"Go back and train her then. Keroberos is already there."

"The scroll," Xiaolang said. "I want it, Father."

"And you shall have it. I've taken the liberty of preparing the ingredients for you, although some are not yet ready."

"Keep preparing them, Father. We shall have Sakura. And once we do, we can end the war and rule Nihon with the Card Mistress by our side," Xiaolang said.

"Send a message to the academy, my son. You'll find the scribe in our great hall. I shall bring the scroll to you there."

Xiaolang smiled. Why had he hesitated in the first place? How silly of him. He went to the great hall and called for a scribe, dictating his message: he would be at Shiroihana the next day to resume lessons with Sakura. He ordered the message sent immediately.

Fei Wang entered with the scroll, and handed it to his son.

"You'll need to practice those caresses," he said, indicating the diagrams on the scroll.

"I see." Xiaolang studied the scroll late into the night. He knew he would have to act fast; he needed to be able to steal a kiss from Sakura for his preparations to begin, for The Shot to work properly.

Now if only the stupid mirror could be enchanted to show her clearly while she was in her quarters, then he would feel better! That was his only weakness: when Sakura and Syaoran were in the elite students' section, they were protected by powerful wards; only little glimpses could be seen.

Fei Wang returned after a while. "How very interesting," was all he said as he handed a message to Xiaolang.

Xiaolang scanned the parchment. Eriol Hiiragizawa was asking for entrance to Kuroyama to study some scrolls and books in their library.

"I want him to be very comfortable here," Xiaolang smiled. "Very, very comfortable for a very long time."

"He'll ask us for an oath of hospitality," Fei Wang warned.

"And you will take it, Father. Not me."

No need to ask; Fei Wang knew what his son wanted. "We can put him to sleep for long periods of time, and you can assume his identity. But how do you intend to use that advantage?"

"Why Father," Xiaolang said, "who says I shall stir up trouble? Only, as her **trusted** friend Eriol Hiiragizawa, I shall make suggestions to Meilin Li about that little relationship developing between lovely Sakura and my boorish cousin Syaoran. I do, after all, owe Meilin for, shall we say, giving me the scroll. When this is over, Meilin will have Syaoran—whether he likes it or not; Sakura will hate him, and she will be mine. I'm sure you can prod her along in her dreams. A few false images of Sakura in—shall we say, intimate moments with Syaoran should do the trick. All I need are Hiiragizawa's clothing."

Fei Wang almost breathed a sigh of relief. So this was his son's dark side? _Then I was right to use the scroll's influence on him. Everything I've invested in him is worth it._

Then Xiaolang called for their steward.

"Bring me that girl you found earlier. The one who looks like Sakura. Bring her to my chambers, washed and perfumed."

The steward bowed. Xiaolang then spent the night practicing the sexual binding caresses on the unwitting girl—and the next morning, the girl had to be physically evicted from Xiaolang's chambers, weeping and crying for him. "Don't send me away, I love you, I need you! Make love to me, please! You can call me Sakura, any name, as long as you make love to me!"

Watching from Kuroyama's ramparts, Fei Wang Reed smiled.

Now all they needed was Sakura herself. A few more preparations, mostly with Meilin Li as their pawn, and Xiaolang would be ready to step in and claim his Card Mistress.

And it would start with the release of a few Clow cards he had trapped. If Xiaolang assisted in their capture, then surely Sakura would trust him.

* * *

"Take care of yourself, Sakura." Tomoyo hugged Sakura, who returned her friend's hug, then she turned to Meilin to do the same. On the other side of the road outside Shiroihana, students were walking away, riding carts or horses or even donkeys, calling out farewells to the students who were staying behind.

Meilin, who was riding with Tomoyo, said, "And you practice those forms, you hear me? Get Syaoran to teach you!"

"I will, and when you come back, let's spar!"

"That's a promise!"

Syaoran stood by the carriage, hefting the girls' luggage into the back, refusing to let Sakura help him. He watched as the girls said their goodbyes, a small smile lifting the corners of his mouth. After a while, he walked over to bid Meilin and Tomoyo goodbye; their carriage drove off, and they waved until they were out of sight.

Two whole weeks alone with Sakura would be wonderful; he wouldn't have to hold back or pretend. And maybe he could tell her a little of what he felt, to test the waters. If she held any affection for him, then he could work with that.

A few snowflakes drifted gently down, and Sakura squeaked. "Snow!"

"Yes, so?" Syaoran smiled lazily at her.

"Soon the snow will rise high enough for a snowball fight! Then I will bury you in it—without even summoning my Key." Sakura giggled.

"Hah. Keep dreaming."

"Just you wait!"

Syaoran placed a hand on top of Sakura's head. "Come on, back into the school. You'll catch a cold out here." He ruffled her hair as they walked back to the elite students' quarters; she'd told him she hated it when her brother did that to her, and he'd gotten into the habit because she said it reminded her of her brother.

"Oooh!" Sakura flailed her arms. "I'll get you for this, you…"

"Go ahead and call me names," Syaoran chuckled; he pressed gently on her head as a joke.

She calmed down, and sat on a large rock. Syaoran sat beside her.

"I like the holidays," she said, smiling at him. "Let's have fun, Syaoran-kun."

"We will." And as if it were natural, Syaoran leaned her head on his chest and placed his chin on top of it; as if it were natural, Sakura wound her arms around his waist as he placed an arm over her shoulders. The snowflakes fell around them gently, and Syaoran smiled.

Perhaps she was the one for him, after all. Everything felt so right, so natural; in his embrace she felt like she belonged there, was a part of him, not a strange sensual presence the way other girls had been to him.

Sakura snuggled closer to Syaoran; as Tomoyo had predicted, the moment all the other elite students were gone, Syaoran became more affectionate. Yes, she liked winter… but best of all, she loved being in Syaoran's arms.

As he always did, Syaoran secretly pressed a kiss to the top of her head. He felt like they had all the time in the world—and for two blessed weeks, they would.

Like Meilin, those would be the last two weeks of peace Sakura and Syaoran would taste in a long time.

**To be continued in Chapter 8**

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**Important note:** When MikoKagome1113 and I discussed the turning point previewed last chapter, I decided to insert scenes between SxS that pushes the rating to M. So what you get next chapter is fluff and a little lime that shows you how much Syaoran feels for Sakura now. Later you can contrast these with the scenes between the possessed Xiaolang and the captured Sakura. Here's a preview:

_Syaoran turned to leave Sakura's room when he almost collided into her coming out of the bathing stall with nothing but a drying cloth wrapped around her body._

_Her lips formed an O, and she blushed bright red—just as he did._

"_Oh no, Syaoran-kun, I didn't know you were still here, I'll just go back…" she babbled as she turned to move back into the bathing stall._

_No. Fate had played him this hand, and Syaoran decided, who was he to flout Fate?_

_His hand came down on her shoulders, and she was turned to face him. Sakura noted that his eyes had gone dark as he pulled her closer. Was he… finally going to kiss her?_

But I want him to kiss me!

_Every nerve in her body tingled; it was like there was nothing between her and Syaoran. His lips were so close to her own, and she could feel his breath against her lips._

I want her,_ Syaoran thought. _Why should I deny it?_ He moved in and rested his forehead against hers._

_Sakura clung to the knot in the drying cloth as hard as she could, frightened that it would drop and reveal her nakedness to Syaoran. But another part of her wanted it to happen. There was no one else around, after all, just the two of them—and who knew what would happen next?_

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**Notes:** You may recognize the second scene as being inspired by the third season of the anime, the one episode where Meilin shows up XD This is Meilin's real personality, as you can see. She isn't evil, but once she is under someone else's influence, things go to hell. Poor Meilin. Her rollercoaster emotions are not clear to her because of the memory control Fei Wang Reed is using on her. Imagine how mad she will be when she finds out?

Tomoyo and Eriol speak formally because a) in this story they are both nobility and b) in the anime and manga they use the polite forms of speech, always. Syaoran tends to be cruder, more straight to the point, like he can't waste time on niceties, while Meilin uses a rough form of speech to seem tougher than she really is.

Sakura is basically a sweet, forgiving, loving person, and when she and Syaoran draw closer, she becomes more open towards him, making later events more painful, and opening her to Xiaolang's manipulations.

And to answer a question: I'm trying to stay in canon of the manga and anime as much as I can, so there will be no ExT here as that pairing is "fanon". No offense meant; I've paired them in my other stories anyway.

Xiaolang is no longer the kind, polite person he was at the beginning; that boy would never have bedded anyone to relieve sexual tension, as his first appearance makes clear. As Syaoran has slowly revealed his gentle side, conversely Xiaolang has turned to his ruthless side. This way you still feel sorry for Xiaolang, and maybe some of you will begin forgiving baka (silly) Syaoran.

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Thanks to **Twilight Kisses** (hi, welcome back! Well, here comes more SxS and the sexier scenes are on the way as well), **yuuki O O** (you're welcome and here's the next chapter!), **DN Angel and Cardcaptor Sakura** (sorry if the bet was moved but it's for a good reason, and I'm glad to see you saw what's happening to Meilin), **unLimitedEnds** (Wish I could answer that without spoiling the rest of it so what I'll say is, partly the spell is responsible), **Sakura-chan** (Ooh thank you. And yes, you added, thanks! The thing is, SxS WILL get together first, but soon you will see how and why everything went wrong. As for Syaoran not being Sakura's first... Hmm. Define "first"? heh heh XD I can't answer that completely without giving a twist away), **Ametyist213** (oh noes sorry I had to move the bet but did you like this one?), **Shiona Acitiu** (Yes! Thank you for seeing what's happening to poor Meilin. The issue of sakura's dad will come up later...and here's the next chapter!), **twilight0331** (Aww thank you. I do try hard to stay true to them as much as I can and right now I am rereading the manga to help me get more of a perspective), **jadorelavida** (Technically Chapter 1 was a 'flash forward' and this is the real storyline. We're working towards the scene shown in chapter 1, which will be a few chapters down yet), **XxSakura-HimexX** (Yay thanks! More fluffiness here, in fact, and those who know me know that means some major angst is coming soon, haha. Thanks!), **-x-Sakura Li-x-** (You make me blush, aww thanks. As for my other stories, gosh I have drafts but no beta, so hang on a little. But I will finish them!), heart 3 (haha thanks), **MikoKagome1113** (Yes, it will get pretty dark before the light returns, for a long time. Don't you think we tend to think better in weird nonwriting situations? XD Yes, I agree, I often felt like throttling Syaoran but hey, I think he will redeem himself in the story. Poor Xiaolang is going into hell now. As for Meilin, you know what I have planned, and you contributed beautifully to it, thanks!), **a fan** (Yes, in chapter 1 Sakura undergoes a profound change influenced much by the spell. Please do review again? XD), **BunnyParfait** (Yay thank you! I'm sorry Meilin will be doing her thing a little later than planned, but I hope the SxS fluff here makes up for it. Poor Xiaolang is feeling lust for Sakura, no thanks to the scroll his dad planted under his bed, and well, he's sleeping with girls and pretending they are her. Yikes!), **neko-chiidesu** (I am so glad people are beginning to see what really happened to Meilin. Don't worry, Xiaolang will not be there yet, despite the letter he sent. Hope you enjoy!), and **Meeh!!!** (Yes, there is that coming soon, but I hope that's not the only reason why you'll read LOL. Sorry for the slowness but hope you like this).


	9. Love in Winter, Part One

**Addiction Chapter 9: Love in Winter, Part One**

_I don't own the characters, only the plot. **Rating is now M**, and will intensify next chapter because of Syaoran and Sakura's new relationship. **Those who are offended must not read on, and please accept my apologies.** Mild crossover with the use of Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles (TRC) characters. No spoilers for the various twists and the manga ending of Tsubasa (so kindly don't spoil that ending for anyone else if you've read it since all I've done is borrow characters). Xiaolang is modeled physically after the Evil Clone in TRC, but has his own personality here._

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**Author's note:** Hey! Another quick update, thanks to the amazing beta skills of MikoKagome1113, without whom I would be floundering helplessly. Thank you for generously sharing your time! Please, do drop me a review, they really make me happy—and I will try not to be too explicit next chapter!

Preview of Chapter 10 and review responses at the bottom.

* * *

**From Chapter 8:** _"I like the holidays," Sakura said, smiling at him. "Let's have fun, Syaoran-kun."_

"_We will." And as if it were natural, Syaoran leaned her head on his chest and placed his chin on top of it; as if it were natural, Sakura wound her arms around his waist as he placed an arm over her shoulders. The snowflakes fell around them gently, and Syaoran smiled._

_Perhaps she was the one for him, after all. Everything felt so right, so natural; in his embrace she felt like she belonged there, was a part of him, not a strange sensual presence the way other girls had been to him._

_Sakura snuggled closer to Syaoran; as Tomoyo had predicted, the moment all the other elite students were gone, Syaoran became more affectionate. Yes, she liked winter… but best of all, she loved being in Syaoran's arms._

_As he always did, Syaoran secretly pressed a kiss to the top of her head. He felt like they had all the time in the world—and for two blessed weeks, they would._

* * *

Meilin stirred in her peaceful, dream-free sleep. Once she had arrived home at the mighty Li stronghold, she had been greeted fondly by everyone, hugged half to death by Syaoran's sisters, and interviewed eagerly by her parents, who were proud of her achievements.

Everyone was curious as to why Syaoran had not come home with her. The excuse Tomoyo had given her about why she had given up on Syaoran worked like a charm, and soon she was plied with presents, consolatory favors, and even lovely dates with handsome young noblemen of her rank arranged by his sisters. She even liked one of them, a dark young samurai named Kurogane, whose surly demeanor hid away a kind, gentle nature.

What did bother her was that Yelan Li had called her aside, concern etched on her face. She'd interviewed Meilin about why she'd given up on Syaoran, and then mentioned concerns about Meilin's aura being 'polluted'.

"What have you handled lately?" Yelan Li asked carefully. "Did you touch anything strange at the academy or… here?" Because it was possible that Meilin had handled something in the Li vault; as far-fetched as the idea seemed, Yelan wanted to be sure.

"Huh? You sound like Tomoyo-hime," Meilin complained. "Really, Aunt-sama, I'm all right."

"But my dear, something…" Yelan closed her eyes and focused on Meilin's aura. A few stray wormlike black remnants of something malignant lingered on its edges. "May I touch foreheads with you?"

"Huh?" Meilin knew that was a way of exchanging memories. "Ce-certainly, Aunt-sama, but… I'm confused. Why are you so worried?"

"Because you are my flesh and blood," Yelan said fondly. "Come, touch your forehead to mine, dear child."

The moment Meilin did, Yelan began to see memories, and she felt sympathy for Meilin when she realized the truth of what Meilin was hiding. She saw Syaoran watching a beautiful green-eyed girl, patiently teaching her lessons, and the expression on his face was surprisingly sweet. She watched as he let her sleep on his lap. She saw him kissing the top of the girl's head, holding her tenderly in his arms.

Yelan smiled; her son was finally in love, and it warmed her heart to know. The girl was quite lovely in a sweet, innocent way… but something was wrong… Yelan felt a premonition of something wicked coming that girl's way.

But when she tried to probe a little more, she ran up against a hard, dark barrier in Meilin's head. The darkness was a void reaching out for her, and Yelan desperately fought against its siren lure. It was black magic, used to suppress or erase memories, and now she realized that whatever was hidden in Meilin's head was very damaging information.

_Someone is trying to manipulate events at Shiroihana! Someone is targeting Syaoran through Meilin!_ Yelan finally escaped the darkness and sat back, panting. Part of what she had seen was a tangle of manipulated and confused emotions in Meilin.

And now Meilin was unconscious—as many victims of such magic tended to become when the malevolent magic was found. The manipulation of her mind had weakened Meilin, Yelan realized to her dismay, and she was tempted to forbid her to return to Shiroihana until they could unlock the mystery in her mind.

But to do so ran the risk of injuring Meilin and alerting whoever was trying to control her that someone had penetrated his or her secret, thus exposing Meilin to more danger. And it might provoke the person to try for Syaoran more openly.

Yelan Li sat back on her heels after she used magic to move Meilin onto a couch. She stroked the girl's hair, wishing she could discuss the situation with someone who knew what to do. But she could not investigate further into Meilin's mind without endangering herself, so Yelan began to ponder the clues she already had.

Meilin had no memory of being controlled. She did not remember a lot of things after the green-eyed girl arrived at Shiroihana. Her emotions, when it came to Syaoran, were tumultuous instead of the straightforward love and affection Yelan remembered. And the darkness arose around Meilin's older memories of Syaoran and the other girl…

**Wait…**

Yelan closed her eyes, searching her memories. That girl…

The answer came to her in a blinding flash. _The Card Mistress! The dream Meilin's mother reported to me about a descendant of Clow Reed and the Card Mistress is true—and it may be Syaoran who is destined to be her love!_

Elation filled her, but she pushed it aside in her worry over her niece. Meilin was caught up in something beyond her understanding or power to deal with. But Yelan knew she could not leave the Li stronghold; her duty was to her clan, and the running of the everyday affairs of the Lis fell to her. Should she be hurt, Syaoran would be forced to come home and assume her position, as his older sisters were already happily married to men who were powerful in their own right; as daimyos or area lords, they had domains of their own to attend to. They would require their wives to support them, and in this time of civil war, it would be impossible to summon her daughters home.

Could she forbid Meilin to return? No, the girl would want to know why. But then she was a danger to herself and others; Yelan knew she could not fight that barrier in Meilin's mind without hurting herself, and if she was out of commission, the Lis themselves would be open to attack from outside.

Particularly from the ominous Fei Wang Reed, who had already succeeded in killing her husband. Yelan had no proof, but she was sure he'd used magical assassination techniques on Syaoran's father, and she did not trust the man to stay away if he got wind of trouble in the Li stronghold. No, she had to stay and be vigilant against more of that terrible man's attacks against the Li clan.

She clapped her hands, and servants came into the room.

"Meilin has fainted. Please carry her back to her room and tend to her," she asked her faithful attendants, who complied with her request.

Now she was worried. Where could she start her search for whatever it was that polluted Meilin's aura? Was there anyone she could ask about it?

* * *

Eriol stood in the antechamber of the audience hall of Kuroyama. To his relief he did not see Xiaolang, but he could sense a lot of strange magics in the Reed keep. It made him uneasy, but he sobered himself with the thought of finding something on The Shot inside Kuroyama.

The hall doors swung open, and attendants ushered him into the presence of the strange Fei Wang Reed. Eriol approached his throne with the weird bat insignia on it with caution.

"Welcome," Fei Wang said in his deep voice. "You wish to use our library?"

"If I can afford to repay you to do so, I would," Eriol said politely.

"Of course." Fei Wang eyed Eriol, then said, "You wished to learn of The Shot? Why?"

Keeping his gaze steady, Eriol said, "We might have trouble with that scroll, and so I'd like to learn what I can of it."

Fei Wang nodded. "That is a dangerous course," he said quietly. Candor was necessary now to disarm Eriol and keep him from being suspicious. "I do not approve of it but you are welcome to use our library. But you," and he leaned forward, "must swear an oath never to disturb books, scrolls, or artifacts not related to The Shot."

It was his gamble to lure Eriol into thinking that he had no other plans for him. Eriol betrayed no outward reaction, but when he spoke, Fei Wang rejoiced inwardly.

"Swear me an oath of hospitality in return, Lord Reed."

"Gladly." Fei Wang placed his index and middle fingers together on both hands, and a small ribbon of magic poured from them. "I, Reed Fei Wang, shall personally do no harm to my guest, Hiiragizawa Eriol, and I shall ensure his comfort for as long as he stays in my domain. He shall not want for food nor drink nor shelter, and I shall allow no bodily harm to come to him."

And it was true, especially since he'd worded it that way. Eriol would not come to any bodily harm; Xiaolang however, free of the oath, could put Eriol in a suspended state for his plans to come to fruition, as soon as Fei Wang suggested it.

Eriol nodded and made his own oath. Fei Wang allowed his face to relax, and he smiled at Eriol. "I apologize for my son's absence. I realize that this may seem unhospitable but I have set Xiaolang tasks that need immediate attending to."

"I understand," Eriol said, relieved at not having to face Xiaolang.

"Then let my retainer show you to our library," Fei Wang said. A woman bowed out from the shadows and glided towards the entry, beckoning at Eriol to follow.

Once in the library, Eriol worked carefully, cross-referencing and exploring books. No one bothered him, and though he searched diligently, all he could find by the time the sun sank under the horizon were references to The Shot, and the story of Li Kaixing, who had used it to steal away the beautiful Fu Cheng from her husband, and the fatal consequences.

"Hiiragizawa-sama?" a voice called. It was the woman who'd brought him to the library.

"Yes?"

"Would you like us to serve you dinner in here?"

Eriol stood up and bowed. "Only if it is not an inconvenience."

"No, Hiiragizawa-sama, it is no trouble." Soon dishes of delicious food were wheeled in, and Eriol ate away from the papers and books he was reading. Once he was satiated, he plunged back in, and conjured a light to help him read. He worked into the late hours, and when exhaustion overcame him, he fell asleep over the books.

Xiaolang entered the library once Eriol's sleep was deep. He took Eriol to the lavish and comfortable chambers prepared for him, and stripped Eriol of his garments, replacing them with other clothing. He cast a sleeping spell which would ensure that Eriol would wake up only when Xiaolang wanted him to. Then he snipped a lock of hair from Eriol.

Completely lost to his dark side, Xiaolang never stopped to consider his plans carefully. All he could see was the triumph of winning Sakura's love, if by an artificial means.

Inside him, the Xiaolang who had once been the dominant personality raged against his imprisonment. He had realized who had trapped him inside himself, but he was lost, and he could not take over himself again, not now that his jailer was his own aspect: the dark, terrifying side of himself he had never thought would ever control him. And this dark Xiaolang smiled and thought, _She will be mine, at last._

And the real Xiaolang could do nothing but watch himself as he did things that would disgust and horrify him for the rest of his life.

* * *

"Hoe!" Sakura leaped off to the side, and Syaoran jumped to shield her as the Card they were fighting flung hot daggers of fire at them. He had identified it for her: Firey. And ironically the damned Card had snuck up on them as they were in the middle of their promised snowball fight.

The day had started with the sun up in the sky; Syaoran was feeling playful and he had challenged her, so they had gone outside, where a snowfall during the night had covered the grounds. They had been happily laughing and flinging snowballs at each other when they had sensed a Clow Card's aura. Soon they were in the thick of a fight with the vicious Card.

The battle had melted some of the snow outside Shiroihana, and the damp was a problem; soon, Sakura realized, the slush would turn into water and if she and Syaoran got wet, it might mean they would get nasty colds in the middle of winter, the kind that were hard to heal. To try and stop that, Syaoran was using a wind spell to keep them off the ground. He yelled at her to try and weaken the other Card using Thunder, and Sakura obeyed.

Thunder engaged the Firey card, but it wasn't enough; it refused to turn back into its real form, appearing to them as a pillar of flame. Sakura was frantically trying to control Thunder while simultaneously thinking of how to capture the Firey card as Syaoran fought to keep control over the wind spell that kept them afloat. When a firebolt singed Syaoran's arm, he cried out as he lost control of his levitating spell, and they collapsed on top of a drift of snow. Sakura stood up, ready to help Syaoran—who had fallen into a fairly deep drift—when something grabbed at Sakura's ankle and she went down, losing control of Thunder.

_Water. So much cold, freezing water _was the thought that scrambled through Sakura's head when whatever it was finally let her ankle go after a brief struggle. Her breath expelled itself in a gasp, and she struggled upwards, gasping a precious breath of air before she went down again.

The Firey card had melted a fairly large area of snow earlier, but Sakura was sure that pool of water had not been there a while ago. Then it hit her: _the aura of another Clow card!_ She almost moaned, and panic threatened to overwhelm her, but she realized that she needed to stop the Card that had her in its domain first.

"W-windy!" she managed to call, and Windy carried her away from the pool of water. The water chased her, and once she was out of its range, she turned to survey the situation.

Syaoran wasn't looking upwards; he was sitting up, shaking his head. The fall had knocked the wind out of him, and so he never saw the water threatening him.

_**No! **_Sakura screamed the word out loud when the water engulfed Syaoran. He struggled in it, cursing. Sakura turned when she felt some heat from behind her; it was the other Card, and it was smirking.

"Two… Elemental… Attack…" Syaoran gasped out his yells.

Two elemental attack cards… Sakura felt dismayed. How would she ever defeat them? She shrieked as Firey attacked her again; Syaoran's dark head disappeared under the water as Windy carried her further away from Firey.

"No!" Sakura screamed. Using the force of her emotions, as Yue had taught her, she launched Thunder against Firey again, and this time, Thunder prevailed. Firey fell into the water, and Sakura sealed it quickly before turning to the problem of Watery, which she had recognized as being the new attacker.

_Wait. Where's Syaoran?_

She could not see anything but vague shapes in the wave Watery now raised against her, and she thought she could see Syaoran's shape in there.

"I won't let you!" she yelled, and she had Windy deposit her on a more secure snowbank. She knew she had to act fast; drowning didn't take very long.

"Windy! Bind the water and force it to expel what's in it!" she ordered, and she bent her will to the task of forcing Watery into the waterspout she created, narrowing the funnel of water and forcing it to expel what was inside it. Rocks shook themselves free, but no Syaoran.

In fury Sakura released her energy into the staff, knowing it was a dangerous course but she thought, _I have to get Syaoran out of there now!_

Somehow the waterspout got stronger; Sakura could feel another magical force working with her. Watery soon revealed its own form, a pixieish creature dizzied by the spectacular force created by the wind, and Sakura sealed it.

The card fluttered to her, and she scanned the area for Syaoran.

No Syaoran.

"No!" She wished she had learned the tracking spell Syaoran had once demonstrated for the other students; she wanted to find him. She began to cry, standing up and running towards the pool of water left behind, not minding the freezing cold. Sakura stumbled at the water's edge, but she shoved her arms in and began to part the water, yelling Syaoran's name.

She could not touch any part of him; in her fear, Sakura dove into the cold water and tried to look for Syaoran. Where was he?

When someone grabbed her from above, Sakura feared it was someone trying to keep her from finding Syaoran, so she fought back.

"Hey!" Someone pulled her out of the water and then held her close. "Oy, stop it, I'm here!"

It was Syaoran.

Sakura wept for relief into his damp clothing; he was soaked but none the worse for the wear.

"Where were you?" she asked.

Syaoran brushed her tears away. "On the branches of that tree," he pointed. "Used a wind spell. That waterspout idea was brilliant; I joined in, if you don't mind."

He was safe. Relief coursed through Sakura, and she embraced him tightly. Syaoran put his arms around her as well, holding her close, but then she sneezed.

"Oh, filthy hell," Syaoran cursed. "I won't let you get sick!"

He cast a wind spell to bring them back into the academy, and once inside he bellowed for the attendants to bring braziers, lamps, and other heat sources to the elite students' area. They quickly complied, and when he lifted the ward to their quarters by inviting them in, they brought the items to Syaoran's chambers. Once they were gone, he roughly began stripping Sakura of her outer clothing.

"Wh-what are you d-doing?" Sakura stammered through chattering teeth and backing away from him.

"You're w-wet and c-cold. You n-need to d-dry off quickly." His teeth were chattering as well, and he could feel the heat creeping up his cheeks—Kami-sama, he was stripping Sakura, after all! But Syaoran knew they had to be warmed quickly so that they would not develop the fever that came from exposure to cold.

Embarrassment overcame Sakura, and she begged, "P-please t-turn ar-around. I-I'll d-do it m-myself."

Syaoran snatched up a thick quilt and a drying cloth, and placed them on a bench near Sakura; he took up another quilt from a chest at the foot of his bed and practically ripped his clothes off, drying himself with his blanket. Soon they were both cocooned in blankets, sitting on his bed. The braziers and lamps weren't enough to overcome the cold, though.

"Ah." Sakura suddenly stood up and picked up her staff. "Firey, release!" she commanded. "Please emanate warmth for us through the braziers," she asked the Card politely.

It nodded, and soon, warmth dispersed through the room. Syaoran could feel the chill leaving him, and soon, Sakura was warm enough to talk.

"That was awful," she said quietly.

His wits about him again, Syaoran said slowly, "You used Windy to defeat Watery?"

"I-well," and Sakura looked embarrassed, "I kind of poured some of my energy into the staff…" She expected to be chastised for her recklessness.

"I see." Syaoran gathered his thoughts. The battle to seal two Cards at the same time had not been what he expected; it had forced him to think on his feet and, he was sure, it required more energy than Sakura's first card capture, which had knocked her out from the drain on her energies. But Sakura had handled the situation with surprising strength. "How did… I mean, where did you get the strength to do that?"

"I wanted to protect- I mean, to make sure you… er," Sakura stopped, blushed hard, then suddenly said, "I must return to my chambers for dry clothes… um… er…"

Syaoran was puzzled; why was she avoiding her own explanation? "I'll follow," he said as she practically scooted out of his room. It was a learning experience, and so he intended to make Sakura sit down and talk about it.

Sakura slammed into her quarters, thoroughly embarrassed by the situation. She'd thought Syaoran was in trouble, and had acted accordingly. But now that the adrenalin rush was gone, she felt tired. She struggled into her sleeping robes and managed to ask Firey to warm her quarters as it had done in Syaoran's quarters earlier before she collapsed into bed.

"Hey. Are you all right?"

Dimly Sakura could see Syaoran in her doorway; he was closing the door. "You really ought to be less careless about your habit of leaving doors open," he scolded gently.

Sakura murmured, trying to explain herself, trying to say _yes, I was upset because I was worried about you,_ but then Syaoran sat on her bed and touched her hand.

"Sleep, Sakura." He stroked her hair gently. "You're tired. We'll talk tomorrow." About how he'd realized that she'd captured two Cards in one day, and how she could use the Cards according to her will. He was proud of her, though he knew not how to tell her.

Asleep, Sakura never felt the featherlight kiss Syaoran bestowed on her forehead, or registered the fact that he had finally called her by her name.

* * *

Sakura knew she was dreaming; she always did. The dream was new, yet familiar: she could see a woman in black robes from behind. She didn't know why she knew but the woman was not a girl anymore. And when the scene shifted, the woman laughed soundlessly; Sakura could see her shoulders quaking in mirth.

Before her, on the ground, was a dark-haired young man, lying face down. He came closer and closer into view, and Sakura saw that his head was bloody. When the woman bent down with a knife, Sakura screamed and bolted upright in her bed, crying.

_I know that young man! I don't know why but I do! _She began to sob; the feeling of the dream was one of regret and sorrow, and it overwhelmed her.

At times like these she missed her family even more. She was happy at the Academy, but there was no one like her father Fujitaka, who could hug her and tell her it would be all right. There was no Touya who could jokingly call her a 'monster' and take her mind off her troubles.

**Father! Onii-chan!**

She turned into her pillow and cried; were they alive? Were they dead? Eriol, who had assumed the role of friend and mentor to her, had assured her that she would know if something bad had happened to them, and so far, she had felt nothing of the sort. Yet the uncertainty of not knowing was beginning to take a toll on her; combined with the dream, she was now quite upset. Her breath hitched in little whines; Sakura gave herself up to her misery, and cried herself back into an exhausted sleep.

Later that morning, with the sun already up, she woke up to the sound of hard knocking on her chamber door and calls of "Hey you! Do you intend to sleep all day?" It was Syaoran.

She sat up and caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror; she looked awful. Sakura's eyes were red and swollen, her hair was tousled even worse than Syaoran's, and her nose was red.

"I… I'll be out in a while," she called.

"Oh no you are not sleeping in today! Get up, lazybones, or I'll come in there and make you get up!" Syaoran sounded irritated. "Breakfast is already over, you've missed it!"

Syaoran was sure that would get a rise out of Sakura; he knew she loved mealtimes very much. So he was surprised when she called out after a pause, "I… You go on ahead. Please d-don't worry about me."

_Something is wrong, _Syaoran thought. "Damn it, you open the door this instant!" he said. He tried the doors and discovered to his dismay that they weren't even locked.

"Oy you, you ought to keep your doors locked! How stupid are you? This academy may be safe and this area is warded against others but you…" He stopped when he saw her face.

Sakura turned away, but not before he'd seen she had been crying. "S-sorry about the doors. I… I'll be out in a while. I'll meet you in the… in the l-library."

"Hey." His voice was softer now, and he came closer. "What happened?"

No way was Sakura going to admit she was crying over a bad dream, not at her age. "Something got in my eye. Go on, please, I'll catch up with you."

"You shouldn't play mah-jongg because you can't bluff." He sat on her bed, and turned her chin so he could see. "Why were you crying?"

Her lower lip quivered, but she tried again. "Nothing, really… I…"

"Bad dream?" Syaoran's eyes were warm and gentle; seeing into them up close somehow made her feel safer.

She sighed. "Yes." She turned away from him. "You can laugh at me now."

"I won't," Syaoran said, concerned about her refusal to talk about it. "You should talk about it, because if you keep it in, you'll only be more upset. Come on," and he laid a hand on her shoulder.

His touch was comforting, and the gentle look in his eyes… To her shame Sakura found herself unable to control a tear from escaping one eye.

_It must have been a really bad dream_, Syaoran thought. Like it was natural to him, he folded her into his arms.

"Tell me about it," he said softly. "That way, you can purge the dream from your thoughts, and you'll feel better."

Sakura sniffled, but then she realized she was in Syaoran's arms. He had placed his chin on top of her head, and pressed her to his chest, and she could smell him, clean and freshly bathed. His warmth was comforting, and she found her sniffles subsiding. He did not say anything, merely waited for her to calm down.

Then she told him about missing her family first. He patted her back, encouraging her to go on. But when she told him about the dream of the woman, the boy, and the knife, he held her away from him.

"Do you recognize them?" he asked.

"No but I have the feeling I know them. Does it make sense to you if I tell you that I feel like I should stop her, like she'll regret what she did? I don't know why I care about what she does but I do. And the boy… all that blood… Syaoran-kun, I just…" Her eyes filled with tears again, both in sorrow and in frustration over her inability to properly describe what she saw and felt.

"Shh. Don't cry," Syaoran said, and he pressed Sakura closer to himself again. "I'll help you. When you're calm, we'll go to Yue and ask him about this. Okay?"

He held her, savoring her softness in his arms. He rather liked having Sakura there; she felt like she belonged there, and Syaoran had never felt that way about anyone before. But then he also felt like he wanted to make love to her, and he shook his head. No, he couldn't. What would the others say if he took her for a lover? That he was taking advantage of the lonely Card Mistress? That he was using her for his own ends, to gain power over the Reeds?

_Oh you hypocrite,_ he chastised himself. _Wasn't that precisely what you set out to do?_ He was ashamed. That he did care about Sakura, Syaoran was sure. He just needed to sort his feelings out, that was all. He needed to prove to himself that he cared about her, to understand why he felt the way he did about her so that if he confessed, he would not be shifting the burden of his guilt or confusion onto her. It was the least he could give her, after all. And his pride wouldn't let him do anything until he was sure he wouldn't suffer any bad consequences from it.

Syaoran bent down and as lightly as he could, so that Sakura would not know, he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. It made him feel closer to her, and when her arms encircled his waist, bringing her closer to him, he smiled.

After a while, he chuckled when she said, "I'm sorry; I'm keeping you from breakfast and I think I smell awful because I haven't bathed yet."

He looked down; she was looking up at him, slightly embarrassed.

"You think of the silliest things, you know?" He let her go. "Go on, bathe quickly. It'll be cold water by now though. I'll wait for you."

Sakura smiled up at him. "Thank you, Syaoran-kun."

"Feel better?"

She nodded. "Yup!"

He released her from his arms, placing a playful finger on her nose, which she shook away, giggling. Syaoran then turned to look out her windows, not noticing that she had entered the bathing stall, thinking she had left the room; he thought she had headed out the door to get hot water for bathing and would return in a while, so he settled himself to wait for her.

Sakura poured water on herself (heated with her newfound trick with Fiery to a pleasant warmth) with the wooden dipper; part of her did not want to bathe but to savor the scent Syaoran had transferred on her skin. _Hanyaan, he is so wonderful,_ she thought happily. Though she wished he could be nicer to her when others were around, she told herself that maybe he did not want to embarrass himself in front of others.

She quickly soaped herself. Her hair was easier to manage now that she'd let Tomoyo cut it short, with little tendrils that reached her shoulders. She closed her eyes and thought of being in Syaoran's arms, of being touched by him… her thoughts strayed into forbidden pastures when she wondered what it would be like to have him touch her as a woman.

She touched the shoulders he'd massaged some time ago, ran her finger over where his hands had held her earlier that morning. While she was still innocent, Sakura had been taught by her father Fujitaka that there was no sin in thinking sensual thoughts about someone she liked very much.

She was, after all, the same age as Syaoran; sometimes he even teased her about being an 'older woman' as she'd been born three months ahead of him. They were both of marriageable age, and her father had made sure Sakura understood that sexual attractions were normal between people who liked each other. But she didn't want it to be that way with Syaoran—_assuming he likes me,_ she quickly added in her head. She wanted to be someone he loved, someone he would cherish… someone he would marry. Sakura almost laughed; that would be quite the Cinderella story, if it ever came to pass; he was the powerful Li Clan's only son, and she was just some commoner from the South.

She tried to make a case for him liking her. _He's nice to me. He makes me feel hanyaan. He saves me food every afternoon. He holds my hand and hugs me. He's concerned about me._

But then again, she reminded herself, he was nobility and she was a commoner. He was aloof to her when others were around. And most important of all, he'd never said anything about liking her. For all she knew he was nice because she was the Card Mistress, and was hoping to gain an advantage by being her friend. Her shoulders drooped.

But Tomoyo had said that Syaoran treated her differently from everyone else; could she make those assumptions of him liking her then? All his actions: the way he fed her, held her, was there when she needed someone… Sakura sighed happily.

Could this be love that she felt? Tomoyo had advised her to sort her feelings out first, after all.

Outside, Syaoran was standing by the window and could not hear the water in the bathing stall; had he known, he would have fled the room immediately and waited outside. He was thinking of Sakura; his family had no strong objections to its members marrying smart, beautiful or handsome commoners, thanks to his parents' broad-minded views on that, and even then, if Tomoyo was right, then Sakura was probably of renegade nobility lineage. Plus, she was, after all, the Card Mistress.

He smiled at the thought. He would have to court her properly, announce his intentions so that people would not think he was after Sakura merely because of the power and status of being the Card Mistress' lover—and eventually husband, he hoped. The corners of his mouth lifted in a hopeful smile.

_Does she feel the same way about me? _Syaoran, for all his sexual experience, had never really had a close relationship with a woman. But Sakura was like his best friend as well; while she could be incredibly dense, she was also sympathetic and kind, and could cheer him up with a smile or a look. _She understands me,_ Syaoran thought, _and isn't that a good foundation for a marriage? Friendship and sexual attraction?_

His mother had told him that the reason why her marriage to his father Tang-Ku had worked was because they were friends prior to marrying at the age of sixteen. Love had naturally bloomed from the friendship, and though Tang had died when Syaoran was still a small boy, Syaoran had memories of seeing sweetness and love between his parents. Though Yelan Li had many powerful suitors, they knew that she was still in love with her deceased husband, and several had given up their suit when she had honestly apprised them of that fact.

_I would like that kind of a loving relationship,_ Syaoran thought. Sakura's presence was soothing to him, and she was easy to talk to. She admired him openly when he did things she couldn't, yet she also made achievements of her own without shame. They got along well, and he liked so many aspects of her personality that it sometimes felt like she'd been made for him.

Plus there was that pull, that attraction to her that Syaoran felt. He sometimes had dreams in which he made love to her; while he'd never seen her body, in sparring sessions and unguarded moments, he'd seen enough of it to know that he would like to be her lover. He bit his lip; he was tempted to hide in the bathing stall and to surprise her there as a joke, but that might be going too far. Besides, what if she entered it naked? Then she might scream her head off, and he would be severely punished for sexually harassing her. He sighed and turned away from the door of the bathing stall.

_What was taking her so long, come to think of it? _Syaoran sighed, and decided he might as well keep waiting until she returned; he could leave when she got back from wherever she had gone. Silly girl hadn't sealed her door again, he noted.

He noticed that Sakura's view of the valley below from her window was quite nice; too bad it was spoiled by a view of Kuroyama as well. He smirked when he remembered that Xiaolang had not made an appearance since his one and only lesson with Sakura. _I hope he stays away permanently,_ Syaoran thought.

Out of boredom, he picked up some trinkets on a chest; Sakura seemed to like cute little figurines, and he examined a penguin, a cat, a pig, and a clumsily molded bear that she'd made in a crafts class she had joined a few weeks ago. He made a mental note to mold her a bear from clay, and to give it to her for the holidays; he was nimble-fingered, and wanted to see how surprised she would be.

Then he came upon a rough drawing of her family, with little hearts around it. The drawing tugged at his heart. _What's it like for her not to know where her family is? _he wondered. Was there a way for Syaoran to find out what had happened to them?

Syaoran smiled. That would make Sakura happy, and he resolved to bribe Eriol to help him do a locating spell. It wouldn't be easy, since he did not know anything about Sakura's father or brother but their names, but then he intended to try without telling her. That way, if he failed, no one needed to know, and he wouldn't be disappointing Sakura.

He turned when he heard a noise, and he almost collided into her coming out of the bathing stall with nothing but a drying cloth wrapped around her body.

Her lips formed an O, and she blushed bright red,

"Oh no, Syaoran-kun, I didn't know you were still here, I'll just go back…" she babbled as she turned to move back into the bathing stall.

His hand came down on her shoulders, and she was turned to face him. Sakura noted that his eyes had gone dark as he pulled her closer. Was he… finally going to kiss her?

_But I want him to kiss me!_

Syaoran stared; he'd stopped her by instinct, not wanting to let her go. She was freshly bathed and he felt an arousal stir him as he scanned her wet hair, the droplets of water on her skin, the flush on her cheeks and chest… and he leaned forward to breathe her scent and warmth in.

His lips were so close to her own, and she could feel his breath against her lips for several long moments. Was he going to do it this time, kiss her?

He did; he tilted his head and captured her lips with his own.

She closed her eyes instinctively. Sakura had never been kissed before, and she was like a blinded deer; she stood there, letting Syaoran kiss her, unaware of how to respond to him. She wanted to twine her arms around his neck and draw him closer but to do so would mean letting go of the drying cloth. Syaoran was fully dressed in a winter kimono, thick and plush; she had nothing else on, and her white underkimono was in her garment chest.

But she could feel herself responding to his gentle kisses; he'd backed her up against the wall and she gratefully leaned against it. Soon his tongue touched and traced her bottom lip, then gently parted it from the upper lip so that it could enter. As it slid softly over her own tongue, caressing and tasting her, Sakura made a soft sound of pleasure. She was not ignorant of the joys two people could give each other; her father had made sure to tell her that when she'd begun menstruating. He'd told her that when two people were in love, as he and her mother Nadeshiko had been, it wasn't just a pleasure of the flesh; it was also a sharing of souls, of feelings.

Just as it was now.

Every nerve in her body tingled; it was like there was nothing between her and Syaoran.

_I want her,_ Syaoran thought. _Why should I deny it?_ He moved in and rested his forehead against hers. He could feel her sensual responses, and he delighted in them.

Sakura clung to the knot in the drying cloth as hard as she could, frightened that it would drop and reveal her nakedness to Syaoran. But another part of her wanted it to happen. There was no one else around, after all, just the two of them. She shivered, both from the chill and the anticipation.

His kisses moved to her chin, then to her neck; she felt her knees buckle and was grateful for the wall against her back. Sakura gave herself up to his gentle kisses; his lips were fluttering at the base of her throat, and his hand was caressing her nape, causing her to breathe harder.

Then he took her hands in his, making her drop the drying cloth.

Gods above, she was small and slender, but utterly captivating; Syaoran drank in his fill of her small nipples, her little waist, the tiny triangle of hair that hid her most secret place.

"You are a lovely blossom," he whispered, and he bent to kiss her again.

She blushed a deep red, and looked away, shivering, unable to stop him even though she knew exactly what he wanted now.

Syaoran noticed that she was shaking, and realized that in addition to the cold, she was afraid and unsure. It was his first time with someone like Sakura; the girls he'd bedded had been experienced and skilled. Again the feeling of wanting to protect her from the world swept over him; he almost laughed because he knew that as the Card Mistress, she had the potential to be a greater sorcerer than he ever could be, but as a girl, she was vulnerable to him—and in that he held power over her.

And that was precisely why he couldn't do it, not until she herself indicated her readiness to make love with him.

Sakura felt her quilt over her shoulders; Syaoran had taken it from her bed and wrapped her in its warmth, then he picked her up and laid her on her bed. Gratefully she looked up at him and was surprised by the tender expression in his eyes.

"I'm sorry," he said as he sat by her side, caressing her cheek.

He was surprised when she moved up to kiss him. "N-no," she stammered. "I…" She was desperately forming words, and with a glimmer of insight he realized that she was trying to explain what she felt to him but she couldn't say anything because she wasn't sure herself.

So he held her in his arms again to calm her down.

"Sakura…" he murmured softly, "the truth is, I want you—the way a man wants a woman, do you understand? But I won't force you into anything you don't want."

If she hadn't seen that she was in love with him earlier then Sakura knew it now, with an overwhelming sense of rightness.

_I only wish we could be like this all the time!_

She smiled and looked up at him. "S-stay with me?"

Syaoran smiled. "Of course. Always." It was the closest he could get to a declaration of love; he knew he would have to go home and get his family's approval first before he could declare his intentions to her. Then he would probably have to go on a quest to seek her family. He knew it would separate them, but he wanted to honor her by doing things properly.

But… Syaoran closed his eyes and willed his arousal away. That was going to be a bit of a problem. He wanted so much to make love to her, to touch and taste her… but not until he knew she wanted him as well.

"Quickly, get dressed," he said, but his tone was playful. "We've got to eat. Then we can go search for that card I felt this morning."

"Hoe?" Sakura blinked. "I felt nothing!"

"That's because you were asleep," Syaoran smiled. "I came to see if you'd felt it, which is why I was at your door this morning."

"I see." Sakura smiled. "I'll be out in a bit then."

Syaoran stood up, then he pecked at her lips gently. "Don't take too long."

"I won't." A thrill rushed through Sakura as he reluctantly let go of her and then took up a post outside her door. She touched her lips, feeling the slight swelling that came from such intense kisses, and smiled.

_At least he likes me enough to kiss me, _she thought happily, and as she dressed, she could feel happiness and light glowing from her.

She had no idea how literal her thoughts were; in the brightness outside, Syaoran, basking in the glow of their little intimate moment, never noticed the light coming from her room.

Once dressed in a winter kimono, she came out. Syaoran held her hand and they went to the dining hall together… and along the way, Syaoran kissed Sakura again.

_Life is wonderful, _Sakura thought, as she smiled up at Syaoran, who was caressing her cheek gently with one hand.

Had he known what she was thinking, Syaoran would have agreed. Life was wonderful… for now.

* * *

Kaho smiled as she watched Syaoran and Sakura frolic in the snow outside the Academy. The two had been busy capturing cards over the week—they'd caught Dash, Fly, Erase, Maze, and, oddly, Wood so far. Exhausted at night, the two would snuggle over the braziers and discover how Sakura could use the various cards. A different glow came from the two now that they were alone; even Yue had remarked on the happiness of the pair.

Which was why she had no regrets about sending Xiaolang a regretful letter telling him that Sakura had left for the winter holidays with the Princess Tomoyo, and for him to come back after the New Year. He could not challenge her word, as the school headmistress, and she breathed a sigh of relief. Perhaps the time she bought for Sakura and Syaoran would help them realize their feelings for each other. Perhaps they could, united, prevent the disaster of forgetting that awaited if Sakura failed to master the Clow cards.

**To be continued in Chapter 10**

* * *

**Notes:** Meilin is not a bad person, and the anime clearly shows that. Free of the card's influence you can see how she is suffering without knowing it.

I know that in feudal Japan women were not accepted as clan leaders, but since Yelan is Chinese and let's assume the Lis took up residence in Japan, then it can be possible for her to be the leader there. Also, if you remember her in the first CCS movie, she kicked butt!

Xiaolang is lost inside himself, literally. In psychology, there are theories of the id, ego, and superego. Let's assume that Xiaolang is the dominant personality, and Dark Xiaolang is who he would be--or rather, is now--because he has no morality or conscience to distract him from what he wants.

Firey: I'm following the card's name as shown in page 30 of Volume 7 of the manga. I know it should be Fiery, but hey, who am I to contest CLAMP there? Haha.

Why doesn't Syaoran just say fuck or other dirty words? Because this story is set in a much earlier time.

Kami-sama: God

In my research I was surprised to learn that women in feudal Japan wore no panties as we know them unless she had her period. As odd as it sounds, the underkimono, usually white, was their underwear.

* * *

And because I'm evil, here's a preview of Chapter 10 (with certain details cut), which will be M. You have been warned!

_Syaoran could not believe they were in his bed, intimately locked together in an embrace meant only for lovers._

But I am her lover now, am I not?_ After all they had kissed so often since the first time, and they had moved onwards to the final intimacy they now found themselves in. The urge to love her and protect her almost overwhelmed him; he could not speak now, not even if he wanted to, because he could feel his heart swell with love for her, defeating any words of love he could have said._

_Yet they had all the time in the world. Once they made love, afterwards, he would tell her as soon as he could gather the courage to do so._

_Sakura closed her eyes as Syaoran's lips met hers; she believed was ready. She loved him so much, and when she looked into his eyes, she saw the same emotions. The way he'd gone berserk after the Card had hurt her showed her the truth; she couldn't be wrong._

_Then she felt as if she were being ripped apart, and she jerked away from Syaoran, crying out in pain._

"_Sakura!" Syaoran moved to hold her, but then his eyes were riveted to the bloodstain he saw on the sheets._

"_Oh Kami-sama I am so sorry!" _

_

* * *

_

Thank you to: **Sukaihime** (thanks, how do you like this chapter?), **DN Angel and Cardcaptor Sakura** (Aren't they? More fluff ahead!). poems2songs (Yup, things are going fine now, and yet I see you noticed how things keep on moving. I'm afraid the bet with Meilin is in the second half of this chapter; I had to move it to accommodate other events. Thanks!), **MikoKagome1113** (As you can see I decided to move up the Eriol scene here to add some foreshadowing and interrupt the fluff a bit LOL.), **Star Melodies** (Haha, I know what you mean about there being way too many vampire novels. But that's the way it is; when Harry Potter became big, so many other wizards/magicians etc popped out of the woodwork. I would love to be published but I don't know if I'm good enough to sustain the interest of lots of readers; I mean I see other works with way more reviews so...oh well, more practice for me!), **Shiona Acitiu** (Thank you! I'm interested in your suggestion re Meilin and Xiaolang...hmm, tell me if you have ideas XD), **yuuki O O** (haha here is the chapter, do let me know what you think, thanks!), **XxSakura-HimexX** (Ohohoho, and the scenes get more intense next chapter. You do realize Kero-chan will someday hold her to that promise? Haha), **Ametyist213** (More fangirling now? I hope you enjoy these scenes!), **heart 3**--it won't display properly (haha, I bet you'll like next chapter even more!), **BunnyParfait** (Oh, I hope you don't mind M rated scenes. I'll try not to be too explicit next chapter. Indeed, you're right re Xiaolang, he's using people--see how he feels here? And his father planted the scroll to force him to change--can't say more heheh), **jadorelavida** (I am glad you can see the tragedy looming for them which is why I placed fluff here--it will be painful when things blow up. I am amazed you saw that little clue, but I can't answer you right now, except to say you're very close. And it's very perceptive of you to remember that Xiaolang is searching for the Kinomotos! BTW I love Joss Whedon so could you point me to that story? or is it a series? Here you go with the longer chapter!), and **YamiNoTomoyo** (hello! Thank you for noticing how I tried to work within the canon. It's not easy, so I appreciate that :D )


	10. Love in Winter, Part Two

**Addiction Chapter 10: Love in Winter Part 2**

**NOT a new chapter, but since FFN was going crazy when I uploaded this, and some people PMd me to say they didn't get the alert, here it is again. Sorry to those who already read this!  
**

SORRY! I forgot to move up the rating to M last chapter, and I have done so now. Please do not read on if you are offended by such scenes. Not pointless porn though.

Once again, please give a hand to my wonderful beta **MikoKagome1113**, who helped me even with a big bio project coming up. Hope you aced it!

* * *

"Fujitaka Kinomoto and Touya Kinomoto?" the guard called as he leaned into the rough hut they were in. They were cold; their thick but dirty cotton garments were not the best defense against the bite of winter.

Captured in a raid on their village, the two male Kinomotos were now prisoners of the Southern daimyo they opposed. They soon discovered that Sakura had not been caught; she was not in the pleasure houses as a forced prostitute, nor in the lord's house as a maid. For that they were grateful, but the hard labor they had had to endure had aged both of them by a few years in a short time.

They took comfort in that they could not feel that Sakura was in danger. Touya, for one, had always been connected to his sister, and he sensed no danger to her. Their sacrifice had worked.

But now, why were they being summoned?

"Apologies, Kinomoto Fujitaka, Kinomoto Touya." The guards sounded nervous. "Please, follow me."

"Er…" Fujitaka began.

"Don't trust them, Father," Touya muttered. He could not believe their jailers would show them any kindness or consideration.

Out loud he said, "Whatever it is you want, I'll do it if you spare my father." He kept his eyes averted; he knew Fujitaka would be upset if Touya allowed himself to be beaten up again.

"Just come along," the head guard said. "Someone's looking for you."

Touya looked at his father, both of them feeling wary. Was it a trick?

But when they followed the guard, they were led to the daimyo's castle, where, in a small, comfortable room, their slave collars were removed, and they were given clean hot water for bathing, then dressed in clean clothes. Soon they were in front of the daimyo, and there was a man in dark robes with a bat insignia on the front.

Menace radiated from the mild-looking man. The daimyo was trembling. "Kyle-san, here they are. We meant no harm. We did not know..." he babbled.

The man called Kyle merely stared at Touya and Fujitaka, bowing to the older Kinomoto respectfully, much to Touya's surprise. He then said softly, "They have been mistreated," as he straightened his glasses then smiled at the lord, who shivered.

"Did you think I would not be able to tell if you bathed them and gave them new clothes?" He spoke in a pleasant tone but Touya touched his father's arm; the room had grown cold.

"Please… We did not know Lord Fei Wang Reed was looking for them," the lord stammered.

Touya needed no special training to see that the lord and his guards were very, very afraid of the man with the small spectacles and slender build. But more disturbing was his father's reaction to the name Fei Wang Reed; he started, then sighed.

"Otou-san?" he whispered.

"It is nothing," Fujitaka whispered back.

"You're just one man," the lord tried to display some bravado by challenging Kyle.

Kyle smiled. Immediately the air turned so cold, everyone save for Kyle could see their breaths issuing from their mouths.

He smiled again, and said, "Such bad weather we're having, don't you think?" His cheerful manner was much more menacing than any amount of threats or aggressive posturing.

One of the guards' swords iced up suddenly and shattered; another guard yelped when his shoes burst into flame. The lord and the other guards recoiled when Kyle turned his gaze on them.

His voice was hard. "You will recompense the Kinomotos for all they lost under you and for their suffering. Say… two hundred gold pieces each?" He smiled when the lord blanched.

"As for me, I deserve a finder's fee." He stepped closer to the lord and smiled again. "The same amount. Bring it here now, along with thick traveling cloaks, a cart, horses, and other provisions. And don't try giving me poison in the food or water, or copper or silver coated with gold; **I will know**. If that happens," and he began nonchalantly cleaning his glasses, "you might find that a little… plague might ruin your little fiefdom. That would be so, so terrible, would it not be?"

"You heard him! Empty the treasury!" the daimyo commanded quickly. The sum was a terrible price; thirty gold pieces could buy a large farm and its animals, after all, but to get rid of Kyle, the lord would do anything.

Kyle waited as the gold was brought to them. Six hundred gold pieces went into a sack for transport; they were given a cart with horses, and Kyle bowed to the Kinomotos. "Should there be anything else you wish, I would be happy to provide."

"Command the daimyo to release the villagers," Fujitaka said, standing tall.

"As you wish—Lord Fujitaka." Kyle turned to the daimyo, who was hesitating. "Release the villagers, or…" He didn't have to complete his sentence. The lord, who feared for his life, whispered, "Do it!" to his minions.

Kyle turned to Touya and Fujitaka, who cringed when he smiled. "Why deny it? Why did you turn your back on your noble background?"

Touya gasped when his father said, "I… had my reasons."

"Well, let's see," Kyle flicked his eyes at Touya. "Your daughter is missing."

"Do you know what became of her?" Fujitaka became more alert, stepping towards Kyle, a new straightness to his back.

"We do… but you must come home to see her—and the rest of your family."

Touya stared at his father, who clenched his fists, clearly in the grip of some unpleasant memories. He'd never spoken of his own family, after all. Then, "All right. We'll go with you."

Kyle nodded, then took the position of the cart driver; a confused Touya and a tense Fujitaka climbed in after him.

"We'll get more provisions along the way… this will be a few days," Kyle said. "I shall take care of it, Lord Fujitaka."

With every mention of the word 'lord,' Touya noticed that his father frowned. But now was not the time to ask, and he decided to ask later, out of earshot of the strange man named Kyle Rondart.

* * *

"Delicious!" Syaoran tapped the bowl with his chopsticks. "I should win bets with you more often," he gloated. He and Sakura had bet on who the last card they captured—which was Shield—would float to, and it had been him. The penalty was that Sakura had to make Syaoran's favorite food: tenshin, a shrimp omelette with gravy over fried rice, and fried breaded kisu fish.

In truth Syaoran had simply wanted to see if she could cook well; plus, his pride had been wounded when she'd been the one to think of a plan to catch Wood last time. He wasn't disappointed; she had a light hand with ingredients, and her flavors were subtle rather than overwhelming.

Sakura smiled. "You got lucky," she said, "and don't gloat. It doesn't become you," she chided. "Next time though, you're making me menrui. Zaru soba!"

"Oh for heaven's sake." Syaoran grinned, then pecked Sakura's lips gently. "There. Better?"

"Still doesn't become you," she said impishly. "Maybe if you do it again?"

Syaoran threw his head back and laughed; then he kissed her again, more deeply this time. Sakura threw her arms around him and kissed him back. They rubbed noses when the kiss was broken, then laughed together.

It felt wonderful, and he'd been doing it often lately, laughing in Sakura's presence. They were happy together, and they'd even begun sleeping in each other's chambers, snuggled together like happy kittens. Though the scene with the drying cloth had never been repeated, the new trust and intimacy between them made him happy.

Sakura herself found that Syaoran's presence was soothing. Despite the dangers they faced, what with Clow Cards coming one after the other to test them—and now they had begun testing how she could use the Cards in ways other than how they had been intended. He had begun searching for her family, and Sakura guessed at this because he asked a bit too many questions about how they looked like.

"Hey," Sakura said as she snuggled in his arms, "when are we going to do anything about the Card outside? I think it's trapped in the ice." It felt like the Card was begging her to come for it, in fact.

"It can stay in the ice," Syaoran said lazily, turning to kiss her. "Wouldn't you rather snuggle with me?" He proceeded to feather kisses across her lips, nuzzling her neck with his nose and licking gently at her shoulders.

"Uh…" Sakura found it hard to concentrate when he was affectionate, "Syaoran, really, we should… ohh…" She closed her eyes as he explored her nape with his tongue; it was a sensitive spot, and he tended to take advantage of those when he found them.

Not that she didn't when she found them in him.

"Ohh? What's that?" he teased.

She gave him an exasperated look, and he laughed. "Fine, fine. Let's go get it." He stood up, helped Sakura stand up, then they trudged through the darkening corridors of Shiroihana, hand in hand. Soon they stood outside the academy, near a frozen pond.

"Oh, the poor thing," Sakura said; a rabbit-like creature was desperately trying to break through the ice.

"Why, that's Jump," Syaoran said. He summoned his sword from his pendant and carefully cut through the ice to free the Card. Sakura summoned Firey and asked it to help warm the other card.

Shivering, the little rabbitlike card peeped gratefully at Sakura and Syaoran and made a sound like a little chirp as its fur warmed up. Then it closed its eyes and snuggled into Sakura's arms.

"Oh thank the gods it's not going to be a tough capture," Sakura sighed. She called her staff then said, "Return to your true form, Clow Card!"

The little creature turned into a card labeled "The Jump" and Syaoran looked up. Large—snowflakes?—were drifting from the sky. He held out a hand. No, they were sakura petals.

"Another card," he said. That happened too often; they tended to come in pairs, and Syaoran figured Sakura was simply getting strong enough to manage such captures.

"Mmm," Sakura said as she stood up. Petals from peonies, sakura blossoms, peach blossoms, even plum and nadeshiko blossoms wafted towards them. She giggled as whole blooms began raining on them.

"Look, Syaoran, aren't they lovely in the snow?" And they were; the riot of colors against the pristine white snow looked like a little patch of fairyland.

"Look, Sakura, shouldn't you catch the card?" Syaoran playfully retorted.

"Oh, let it have some fun." Sakura saw the card, a lovely girl with curled pink ponytails, dancing atop one of the walls of Shiroihana. It smiled when it saw Sakura looking up at it, and beckoned to her.

"Don't get too close," Syaoran warned.

"What's the harm?" Sakura took Syaoran's hand and placed a peony blossom in it. "I imagine you'd like this," she smiled.

Syaoran stared. A peony. His favorite flower, not that he'd ever told her. And she'd just given it to him.

It was a sign. Who was he to ignore fate?

Sakura was dancing in the snow, laughing happily as snowflakes and petals and blossoms floated about her. Syaoran watched her, feeling his heart warm.

_I love her, _he thought.

And he knew it was true, though he did not yet have the courage to tell her. She was his world, and she made his world brighter and happier. Syaoran placed the peony in a pocket of his winter kimono, and beckoned to the Card, which he had recognized as Flower.

"Come on," he said, "don't make it hard for Sakura now."

The Card nodded, smiling as it danced in the air towards them. He touched Sakura's arm once he was near her.

"The Card, Sakura," he whispered in her ear. "Come on, seal it so we can go back inside."

Sakura turned, and watched his amber eyes as he looked at her. The expression in them was ineffably tender, and he touched her chin.

"If I… should it come… I mean," Syaoran stammered.

She watched as he struggled with words, and was stunned when he asked, "If I were to ask, w-would you consider m-marrying… me? I mean, if I were…to do so?"

"Hoe," she said softly. "But… Syaoran… why?"

"What do you think this is?" He touched his forehead to hers. "Did you think I kissed you to pass the time? Do you think I spend time with you… for no reason? I choose—to be with you, don't you know?" he said softly as he tucked her hair behind her ears.

She said nothing, but crept closer so that he could fold her into his arms. Then, "I think I would, I mean, say yes, if you should ask, should the time come," she said softly.

"I'm sorry that time isn't now, yet," Syaoran said as he pressed her to him. "I need to fulfill certain obligations first. And there's the Cards to think of, for you. Plus—I'd have to ask your family… if they can be found…"

Looking up at him, Sakura nodded. "I understand." _And when I feel ready_, she thought, _I will tell you that I love you._

They hugged again, Syaoran pressing his face to her hair to hide unexpected tears. _Boys don't cry,_ he admonished himself. He loved her so much, and it was the first time he had known such a powerful, intense emotion that he was scared. Could love be a weakness? Why did he feel so strongly about her? No, he must master himself first, his pride insisted. No weak knees, no overly sentimental thoughts.

He kissed the top of her head, then chuckled when she said, "Uh, Syaoran? The flowers… are burying us…"

Syaoran turned and saw Flower riotously celebrating around them, flinging handfuls of petals and blooms in their direction. And they were now waist deep in the blooms. He gave the Card a withering glance, but Flower merely laughed and winked, still spewing out flowers.

"Cut it out," he said gruffly. The Card obeyed, to his surprise.

"Please, thank you," he heard Sakura say as she raised her staff and sealed Flower.

The weather around them calmed down; in the little light they had left to the day, Syaoran suddenly stopped and looked back at the flowers carpeting the path.

_I will marry her in the Spring after this one, _he promised himself. _I just have to talk to Eriol, and to my mother. If they approve, then I will find what has become of her family and make it formal._

"Syaoran?"

He looked at Sakura and smiled. "I'm here," he said as he took her hand in his. "Let's go back." They trudged back into the academy, not seeing the birds that had been watching them all this time.

* * *

"Hiiragizawa-sama," the maid said as she bowed to Xiaolang then passed.

_Excellent,_ the dark Xiaolang thought. _The maid, who has served here for five years, does not recognize me._

He turned to go back to his chambers, then removed the robe he'd enchanted with Eriol's hair. His hair immediately turned into shimmering waves of light copper from the midnight blue they had been; one of his eyes went from blue to amber; and his build became slender again.

As Eriol, he intended to penetrate Shiroihana and keep a closer watch on Sakura and Syaoran—to sabotage what he knew was their deepening relationship. Cursing the magical limitation that prevented him from spying on the pair in the elite students' quarters, Xiaolang rued that Sakura was now being openly courted by Syaoran. Earlier, in fact, Syaoran had informally proposed marriage to her.

_And she accepted!_

He'd held back on going to Shiroihana because he was waiting for one last ingredient for The Shot. It would be ready in three days, and in the meantime he intended to go to Shiroihana as Eriol.

Syaoran trusted Eriol, and had even seen his friend off as he left for Kuroyama. As Eriol, he would be able to plant poison into Syaoran's mind, and spur Meilin into action. _That's one love story that will not have a happy ending, that of Sakura and Syaoran,_ Xiaolang thought grimly. _I am her happy ending, and she just needs to see it!_

A small snag in his plans was that he could not penetrate Eriol's memories, no matter how hard he tried. Xiaolang would have to fly blind into Shiroihana as Eriol, who now lay in a hidden chamber, sleeping a restorative sleep. No harm was done to him, certainly; the sleep would actually strengthen Eriol's magic and body. If he had his way, he would have killed Eriol, but he knew that act would bring terrible retribution on his father.

No, he would have to wait until everything shattered at Shiroihana and he could release Eriol when it was too late for the son of Clow Reed to interfere. While there, Xiaolang could always pretend Eriol had been hardened by his weeks away from Shiroihana.

_You're a fool if you think that will work,_ the Xiaolang buried in his consciousness taunted. _You've lost sight of who you are, and it seems to include the intelligence I had when I was in control. Give up._

"Shut up!" Xiaolang faced the enchanted mirror his father had given him. In it, he could see himself, two versions of himself: the old Xiaolang, smiling and gentle, whom he had trapped inside himself with the help of The Shot, and himself, the new one, dark and hard and evil-eyed.

_You will lose. You always will. You needed Father's help to take over my body, and you will need Father's help to shut me up. Who's the weakling, huh? _The trapped Xiaolang taunted the dark Xiaolang who was in control.

"I'll teach you a lesson." Dark Xiaolang closed his eyes and entered his own mind.

"About time, you coward," the trapped Xiaolang taunted. "Do you know something? I know how to get into Shiroihana, how to win their trust, and how to win Sakura without the use of The Shot."

"But you won't tell me," dark Xiaolang sneered. "Because it's the honorable, righteous way. Spare me the pain of torturing the information out of you."

"No. Not until you give me back control of my body!"

"Why Xiaolang, don't you realize we are permanently connected?" purred the dark Xiaolang. "I am **you**—I am your darkest desires, the evil things you are capable of doing if you had no conscience. I am the better part of you. You would have given way to Syaoran over Sakura in the name of honor. Honor, pah! Weak, spineless fool! There is only power!"

"Since when is integrity weakness? That in itself is a form of power, fool," the trapped Xiaolang answered as he stood up to face the dark Xiaolang. "I kept you in check because you're the uncivilized part of me, the part that has no respect for anything, the part that can only destroy."

He gasped as the dark Xiaolang pressed a dagger to his throat, and let the tip of the blade slide in.

But then the dark Xiaolang gasped as well; an identical wound had opened on his throat, and was bleeding.

The trapped Xiaolang began to laugh.

"Kill me! Come on, kill me!" he taunted as he pressed the blade deeper into his throat. Dark Xiaolang pulled the blade away, aghast.

"You can't kill me without killing yourself. I am you, after all," he mocked the dark Xiaolang by using his own words. "And now…"

A blast of magic flung the dark Xiaolang against the walls of trapped Xiaolang's prison. The trapped Xiaolang began to cast more spells, pounding dark Xiaolang with the full force of his fury.

"Do you yield?" the trapped Xiaolang bellowed once he'd gotten his evil self pinned beneath him. "Give me back my body!"

To his surprise, dark Xiaolang began to laugh. "You just proved me right. Once I take Sakura, there is no going back for her unless she embraces the dark side of her—or she will die. Surely even you can see that her sweet little self will never win over her opposite, her dark half; imagine the power and evil in that lovely dark Sakura!" He licked his lips. "Sweet little Sakura will never, ever be able to fight her way out of the imprisonment our dark Sakura will devise for her—I mean, look at you!" He laughed, making the trapped Xiaolang wince.

"If you kill me now, we both die. If we live, though," and his voice suddenly became honey, "we taste her virgin flesh. We bed her, and hear her moan our name in pleasure. We see the secrets of her nubile little body, exposed for us alone. If we cooperate, we can be unstoppable. And we can see the dark side of Sakura exposed as well. Will she be a wanton lover in bed, I wonder?"

"No," the trapped Xiaolang moaned. "Leave her alone!"

"Oh no," the dark Xiaolang sneered. "I'm ready to go to Shiroihana. In fact, I think I shall deflower her right there, under cousin Syaoran's nose. I want him to see the rose stain of her virginity taken away."

"You can't!" the trapped Xiaolang screamed.

"Watch me," the dark Xiaolang smirked. Suddenly he was outside his mind. He faced the mirror, seeing the trapped Xiaolang pleading with him wordlessly.

"You remember the girl we practiced on? The one who looked like Sakura?" The dark Xiaolang summoned up sensual images of the girl, naked and writhing in pleasure, and he forced the trapped Xiaolang to face the false Sakura in his mind. "Have that to console you for now. Touch those pert little breasts. Shove your manhood into her. Do you like it?"

He watched as the trapped Xiaolang, helpless against the memory which was now seducing him, tried in vain to fight the false Sakura.

"Get laid. Now shut up!" The dark Xiaolang slammed the gate to his mind firmly shut, and laughed as the trapped Xiaolang faded away.

* * *

"Those dreams she's been having bother me," Kaho paced her office as Yue stood by the window, listening to her. "It's a good thing they've abated thanks to Syaoran."

A small smile crooked Yue's lips. "Ever since he started sleeping with her, you mean. I thought students were," and he paused to search for a word that would annoy Kaho, "forbidden to have sex in the school?"

"You know they're not doing that," Kaho said a bit grumpily.

"Ah," and Yue raised a finger, as if he'd scored a point, "and that in itself is interesting. Since when does Syaoran resist temptation? They're all alone, and it's not like Sakura would truly stop him, not given his skill in bed and her feelings for him," Yue teased, while keeping his face straight.

"All right already; he's in love with her."

"Thank you for admitting it." Yue smugly folded his wings.

"Just because you predicted it doesn't mean you can be insufferable," Kaho complained.

"No. Merely, that I think my other prediction about the love that could blossom between you and…"

"Yue." One cold, hard word from Kaho. "Enough. You know it's forbidden."

"You can't forbid love," Yue said calmly. "When I loved my master, they also said that men could not love men. That creations could not love their masters."

"I am headmistress of this school and I cannot allow… I…" Kaho took a deep breath to calm herself, realizing that Yue had baited her into the verbal trap.

She gave him a glare, then said, "That Xiaolang accepted my lie without a fight… I'm glad, because Sakura has several more Cards to capture and this delay allows her to learn more and get stronger. But I don't like this."

"Neither do I," Yue said. "There are too many factors to consider, and Xiaolang's continued absence when he fought so hard for the privilege of training her—I don't know what to think."

"And Eriol hasn't come back yet."

Yue sighed. "I have a bad feeling about that. I've been making Sakura tell me her dreams, and she keeps seeing one scene over and over again: from behind, she sees a woman standing over a bloodied man, and the dream makes her anxious. I can't erase her memories of the dream over and over; you know what memory manipulation does to a person, so I tell her it's just her anxieties talking. But she is the Card Mistress, and if she dreams of those things repeatedly, then there is significance to it."

"She cried the first time she had that dream, didn't she?" Kaho asked.

"She did. Syaoran had to calm her down," Yue mused. "The dream repeats itself, and never varies."

"Does that mean the future cannot change?"

Yue began to pace slowly. "I don't know. The thing about the future is, it is never a fixed road, although in their rush to avoid fate, some people fall right into the trap of the future. I do not want Sakura to be trapped by the vision… else the tragedy of the world take place."

"Forgetting," Kaho shuddered. "All of us who have been near Clow Cards…"

"We're just bystanders," Yue said. "But as we speak, forces that need Sakura to fail, and forces that need her to succeed are beginning to align. Power attracts power, and Sakura is a prime target for those who want to use her and her power. So the faster she and Syaoran claim the cards, and we understand her dream, the safer Sakura will be. She is of marriageable age, and if she isn't married, she is vulnerable; with a husband…"

Kaho snorted. "Here we go again with that old myth of how women are better off with husbands."

Yue stamped a foot impatiently. "No, that is not it! I meant that if she has Syaoran by her side, then powers above them will find it that much harder to use them both."

"You forget that Xiaolang is also a descendant of Clow Reed who can protect her." Kaho's eyes twinkled. "You want Sakura to end up with Syaoran."

Flustered, Yue glared at Kaho, then flew off.

Kaho turned back to the window. _Please let them finish catching the Cards soon,_ she prayed to no one in particular.

No one, though, heard her other prayer for the safe return of the one she secretly, desperately loved.

* * *

Sakura was coming out of her quarters, and was about to cross the garden between her and Syaoran's rooms when she saw something flicker by the entrance to the elite students' area.

Dark tousled hair on the tallest head. Glasses over kindly brown eyes. And long flowing hair…

… _like her mother's._

No. Can it be? Sakura darted after the vision, dropping her fur-lined cloak. The visions were moving higher, upwards to the ramparts of the Academy.

"Wait! Please!" Did this mean her family was dead and they had paid her a visit in the school? She had to know!

Syaoran thought he heard Sakura call, and came out of his quarters to see Sakura's cloak on the ground. He swore.

"Sakura!" He set off to chase her aura. It was erratic, and there was a Clow Card with her. Not good.

When he found her, she was stepping off the highest part of the Shiroihana water tower, an expression of rapture on her face. She looked like she was about to embrace someone.

"NO!" Syaoran screamed, and cast a wind spell to catch Sakura. But he was too far… and he was too slow…

His wind spell managed to catch Sakura a few feet from the ground, and he was relieved when she began to cry, "Okaa-san! Otou-san! Onii-chan!" He cursed again, and scrambled to her side.

She was crying. He touched her face, and her eyes were wide open and unseeing as she called for her family.

Nearby the aura of the Card was overwhelming. Syaoran fought not to look at it, because he knew it would trick or attack him. He reached out a hand and called, "Raitei shourai!"

His anger made the spell much stronger, and the Card was stunned. He fired again and again, his fury turning his lightning bolts red, sizzling in intensity. Soon the Card was subdued, and he shook Sakura.

"Wake up! Goddamnit, Sakura, wake up! You must seal the Card immediately! Before I tear that worthless thing into half!"

Somehow Sakura woke up; fuzzy-eyed from crying, she said, "Huh?"

"SEAL THE CARD NOW!" Syaoran screamed; he had no choice but to force her to wake.

Sakura turned; the Card had turned into a strange pattern of lines and shapes that changed rapidly. "Return to your true form, Clow Card," she called weakly, and the Card was sealed.

"My dad… my brother… my mother…" Sakura said softly. "I couldn't reach them…"

Syaoran had never been sorrier to tell her she was wrong. "It was Illusion," he said. "It lied to you… showed you what you wanted to see and not the truth."

"Oh." Sakura closed her eyes. A lie. Not her family. Tears crept down her cheeks as she closed her eyes.

"I'm sorry," Syaoran whispered. He picked her up and carried her into his quarters, varying a fire spell to mimic what Sakura did with Firey to warm the room.

"Never ever tackle a Clow Card alone. Promise me that," Syaoran begged as he held Sakura.

"I'll always call for you. I promise," Sakura said.

Syaoran looked at her, touching her chin tenderly. And as if they had discussed it, their lips met. At first it was tender, two lovers reunited after a terrible threat of separation, but when his tongue entered her mouth, it became a passionate declaration of love. Tongues swirling, he gently pinned her to the bed, and she yielded to him completely, wanting him, needing him.

He pushed her kimono open so he could kiss her neck and nape. She gasped softly as his tongue fluttered at the hollow of her neck. Gently, he left a love bite on her shoulder, then he pulled her kimono away, leaving her in only her underkimono. Syaoran's amber eyes took in her creamy skin hungrily.

"Sakura," he whispered tenderly as he began to kiss her again, exploring her neck and shoulders. When his hand found her small breasts, and stroked them gently through the fabric of her underkimono, they both knew it was time for them to learn how to love each other.

The underkimono whispered off her, and he could see her breasts, small and round, crowned with small pink nipples. He touched them gingerly with the pads of his thumbs, causing her to arch towards him, and when she did, he kissed her again, letting his feelings of love pour into the kiss as he fondled them. Then he began to kiss her down from her chin, her neck, her shoulders, and then her little breasts, then he bore down on them with his mouth.

"Sakura," he whispered softly, raising his eyes to meet hers.

"Syaoran," she answered, then gasped as he returned to her breast.

His mouth was warm, and she knew he was tasting her as he teased and swirled each nipple in turn with his tongue. Her fingers twined themselves into his thick, dark bronze-colored hair, and she gasped as he left love bites on each breast in his eagerness.

"Am I hurting you?" he asked, when she gasped.

She shook her head, then reached up to kiss his neck; he rolled so that they were facing each other on the bed, and he let Sakura explore him as he had her. What felt like hours passed in this way, until Syaoran reached his fingers down curiously, sliding them between her thighs as he continued to kiss her. She closed her eyes and drew her breath in.

For Syaoran, it felt like his first time again. Sex to him had been an affair of getting quickly to his orgasm: he had the girls service him by sucking on his manhood, then he would mount them quickly and ride them until he was satisfied.

But not with Sakura; he wanted to keep the moment with her, to stay here, in the faint light of the flames in the braziers, hidden away from the world and loving each other slowly, tenderly.

After a while, he ran his fingers up and down her thighs, then, catching sight of the tiny pink folds under the sparse hair at the junction of her thighs, he sent his fingers questing there. Sakura bit her lip as Syaoran teased the little furled lips gently, and when they unfolded, he found a tiny bud which he began to stroke slowly and gently.

The dew that came from her, and her gasps and throaty expressions of pleasure intrigued him. He raised the finger he'd been fondling her little bud with to his lips, and tasted her dew. She was salty, like the sea, yet as always, sweet. And so he returned his finger there, wanting to taste more of it, wanting her to give him more.

He added another finger, gently rubbing up and down as he continued to kiss her. He found her tiny bud again, and stroked it gently with his thumb, using her own moisture as a lubricant. She moved, and gasped; she felt her body heating up, another surge of delicious sensations building up where he was touching her.

Sakura breathed hard; she could feel his emotions. No one could touch her that way and not love her; that she understood. His eyes were dark but gentle; he watched her intently, kissing her every now and then to reassure her.

When he took his finger away and knelt between her legs, Syaoran pushed her hips upwards, then plunged towards her womanhood. He gasped in admiration when he saw her small, roselike folds up close, took a breath, then pressed his mouth onto it, licking gently up and down them, greedily tasting her, feeling how soft she was, savoring this intimacy.

He thrust his tongue inside her, moving it in and out over and over, savoring the taste and feel of her most secret place, the one he knew only he had the right to touch. She clamped her thighs around his face, and then, after she arched into him, he felt her shudder. Sakura gasped, and tightened her grip on the sheets as she came, hard, for the first time in her life. She hadn't known such ecstasy was even possible, and she raised her hips so that he could continue touching and fondling her down there.

He slid back above her, and kissed her again, letting her taste herself on his mouth. He felt he would burst from the love of her, and embraced her, trying to touch as much of her skin as he could with his.

Syaoran realized that it was time he consummated the act; he raised himself and stood up, shedding his own clothing, until he was naked in front of the girl he loved.

He knelt in front of her, raising himself on his elbows and looking down at Sakura, impossibly beautiful in the scant light of his chambers. Syaoran could not believe they were in his bed, intimately locked together in an embrace meant only for lovers.

_But I am her lover now, am I not?_After all they had kissed so often since the first time, and they had moved onwards to the final intimacy they now found themselves in. The urge to love her and protect her almost overwhelmed him; he could not speak now, not even if he wanted to, because he could feel his heart swell with love for her, defeating any words of love he could have said.

Sakura closed her eyes as Syaoran's lips met hers; she believed was ready. She loved him so much, and when she looked into his eyes, she saw the same emotions. The way he'd gone berserk after the Card had hurt her showed her the truth; she couldn't be wrong.

He positioned himself between her thighs, kissing her gently, using her moisture to ease his passage into her. There was only pleasure at first from his heady kisses—then suddenly, something hard was slowly intruding into her body, making her feel as if she were being ripped apart. Sakura jerked away from Syaoran, crying out in pain.

"Sakura!" Syaoran pulled himself out of her as fast as he could, then moved to hold her. His eyes were riveted to the tiny bloodstain he saw on the sheets. Gods, hadn't he prepared her properly? How stupid and impatient was he?

It never occurred to him that she simply was small, and it was, after all, her first time. Though he hadn't fully penetrated her, he had been the first—hence the blood.

"Oh Kami-sama I am so sorry!" Syaoran groaned as he stroked her back. Sakura was shuddering, but thankfully, she was not crying. The sensual mood was broken, and Syaoran felt horribly, terribly guilty.

_She's not the kind of girl you fornicate with and leave. _Eriol's voice rang in his ears.

_How could I have done this to her? I forced her, I never asked her if she wanted to make love!_ Syaoran crooned gently into Sakura's ear, holding her as she shivered. He felt like a big monster looming over her, and he realized how much bigger he was. She was so small, and he'd just… forced himself on her.

Hot shame flooded him. He stood up once she stopped shaking, and wordlessly handed her her clothing, apologizing profusely and looking away as she put them on, a bewildered look in her eyes. Once she was dressed, he carried her back to her quarters and stayed there, holding her but not saying anything, until she fell asleep.

_I'm a monster, _he thought. _How could I have hurt her?_

He walked aimlessly out of Sakura's chambers, his mind confused and awhirl as he wandered the corridors. How could he face Sakura now?

_She probably thinks I took advantage of her. _A cold chill gripped his heart when he remembered asking her if she would marry him the other day. It looked like he'd said that, proposed marriage so that he could bed her! And only the worst of cheaters and ruffians used marriage to trick poor girls into bed.

If only he had been stronger! If only he had hung on to his self-control, if only he hadn't taken things so far, if only he hadn't **wanted** Sakura so much!

"Problems, Syaoran?"

Syaoran's head whipped around. "Eriol?" What Syaoran thought was his friend stood at the entrance to the elite students' quarters. Strangely, the barrier to outsiders was shimmering, and Syaoran would not realize the significance of this until it was too late.

"I'm back. How about inviting me into our area?" Xiaolang, who was wearing the robe that granted him Eriol's guise, held his breath, but Syaoran wasn't paying attention.

"Come on in, idiot," Syaoran muttered, granting Xiaolang access to their quarters.

"And why are you disturbed?" Xiaolang asked in Eriol's smooth baritone.

Syaoran clenched his fists, then, "Can you come into my chambers, because… I need to talk to you… about… about…"

"Sakura." Xiaolang could barely keep the triumph out of his voice. Syaoran looked worried and uncertain.

"Yes… I need your help."

_I have you now, fool!_ Xiaolang rejoiced, then said, "Come, let's talk about it," _you unsuspecting idiot_, he added in his mind. The trapped Xiaolang was screaming so hard it was difficult to block him out, but Xiaolang forced his presence down with a silent spell. "Perhaps I can help you with Sakura."

"Thank you," Syaoran said gratefully, and turned to lead the way to his chambers.

Syaoran never saw the cruel smile that graced the fake Eriol's lips as they entered his chambers. Xiaolang knew he would formulate an appropriate response once he heard Syaoran's story, bad advice which would tear them apart.

In her room, Sakura sighed and slept on, murmuring Syaoran's name lovingly, unknowing of the disaster that awaited her.

* * *

**Coming up next:** _The dark Xiaolang, in the guise of Eriol, gives Syaoran… and Meilin… very bad advice. Sakura is lured to Kuroyama to see her family, unknowing that a terrible fate awaits her there at dark Xiaolang's hands._

Aren't SxS so sweet? Apologies for the fluffiness. But now the question is, How did all this sweetness turn into the horror you saw in Chapter one? Stay tuned, and please do leave a review? ^_^

* * *

**Notes:** Syaoran and bets: Syaoran has a lot of pride in the series although when it comes to Sakura he can control it. I needed to magnify this flaw for the pivotal point of the story to work, so forgive the non-canon detail.

Tenshin: Listed as Syaoran's favorite food in the manga (he and Sakura both dislike konnyaku, a jelly-like snack, haha) so I used it here. As for the fish, I added that detail in myself.

Menrui: Noodles, usually cold; in the manga Sakura happily sits down to a cold soba meal in volume 1. Her father and brother are both good at cooking this!

Card behavior: Kero notes in the manga and anime that the cards are all testing Sakura before allowing themselves to be captured. Some call out to her, literally, and others give her problems. Since I can't do all 70 captures in the anime (yikes!) I went with the 19 in the manga. But I shall put a spin to this later on, heh heh.

Dark Xiaolang: I've been wrestling with this and then a friend pointed me to several readings and similar anime/cartoon episodes. The best example of what Dark Xiaolang is can be found in Justice League Unlimited, in the episode called Ancient History. He embodies the dark side of Xiaolang, present (theoretically) in everyone: our darkest desires, the evil things we are capable of doing. Watch him carefully.

Trapped Xiaolang is the original Xiaolang. He is a nice guy, basically, who's lost control, no thanks to The Shot scroll, of himself. His father helped trap him there because Fei Wang knows the depths Xiaolang can sink, and the powers he can unleash when his conscience is not in control.

* * *

**THANK YOU** to **Star Melodies** (oh thanks! Here's the update!), **poems2songs** (Much sweeter, yes? And isn't that torture: Yelan KNOWS but can't do a thing… The Shot weakened Meilin badly, so FWR easily got to her. Re Yelan in the future: Can't say, shh XD Same thing with Eriol; I'm sorry about that but all will be revealed in time. We're almost at the present now!), **XxSakura-HimexX** (No! He IS in love, muahaha! XD Kero will be back in a bit; his role comes up AFTER Sakura is in Xiaolang's hands), **Shiona Acitiu** (I agree—they have been put through so much, but wait till you see what Sakura goes through next chapter. But, and major spoiler, one of them may not survive. Senseless things happen to good people, after all), **BunnyParfait** (BLUSH! But I will gladly give you lotion XD See the spoiler above with my response to Shiona Acitiu? Heh heh), **winterkaguya** (YES, exactly! Honestly writing chapter 11 is quite emotional for me, so wish me luck. Yes, Yelan has a history with FWR, to be revealed later, and how the heck did you know? As always, you are sharp. I wonder how you feel now that you know there are two Xiaolangs in his body? Which in itself does not bode well for Sakura. Eriol here is not Clow's reincarnation but the boy I felt he deserved to be. Oops for him, haha), **DN Angel and Cardcaptor Sakura** (It's nice of you to see that! And you're right—they love each other very, very much. Keep that in mind when things go to hell next chapter XD), **brokenshadow23** (Please don't apologize, it's ok! Aww, but I know there are several good ExT stories here. I need something else to torture Eriol with here. LOL Kaho knows more than she's letting on, as always, ne?), **yuuki O O** (HAHA! I know, and I bet I lost a few readers because I took it slow but at least you can see that SxS didn't rush into things, making what happens next more painful because they fell in love slowly), **CcsXTrc123 **(Here's part two, and do drop me a review? XD), **michiko14anime** (EEK thank you for pointing it out, are you offended? Sorry!), **MikoKagome1113** (Part of the story's goodness is thanks to you—hugs. Thank you ever so much!), **teenureen** (Thank you so much! Honestly, I love writing, and it takes my mind off the people I want Dark Xiaolang to massacre at the office—kidding. I hope you enjoy this chapter!), and **Darkness carrier** (Wow, what a pen name! I am so so thankful for your review. I was a little resentful that people ignore fics which use canon, but now I realize that you guys are the best. I tend to agonize over my chapters—ask MikoKagome1113 who betas for me haha—because I do not want to disappoint you and my other readers, plus I want to do justice to SxS and not just make this fluff in which replacing their names with "Ana" and "Bob" make sense. I do not forgive your long review… I LOVE IT THANK YOU!)


	11. The Rape of Trust

**Addiction 11: The Rape of Trust**

Yet again it is the brilliant MikoKagome1113's beta help that makes this chapter what it is. Thank you!

* * *

**Previously:** _Syaoran clenched his fists, then, "Can you come into my chambers, because… I need to talk to you… about… about…"_

_"Sakura." Xiaolang could barely keep the triumph out of his voice. Syaoran looked worried and uncertain._

_"Yes… I need your help."_

_I have you now, fool! Xiaolang rejoiced, then said, "Come, let's talk about it," you unsuspecting idiot, he added in his mind. The trapped Xiaolang was screaming so hard it was difficult to block him out, but Xiaolang forced his presence down with a silent spell. "Perhaps I can help you with Sakura."_

_"Thank you," Syaoran said gratefully, and turned to lead the way to his chambers._

_Syaoran never saw the cruel smile that graced the fake Eriol's lips as they entered his chambers. Xiaolang knew he would formulate an appropriate response once he heard Syaoran's story, bad advice which would tear them apart._

_In her room, Sakura sighed and slept on, murmuring Syaoran's name lovingly, unknowing of the disaster that awaited her._

* * *

"I think I hurt her," Syaoran said, his face pale and drawn.

He was standing in front of the fireplace in his room, and the one he thought was Eriol was looking at him, shadows hiding his expression.

"Oh Kami-sama, Eriol, I… _**hurt**_ her."

Syaoran bowed his head and leaned it against the stone wall of the hearth, biting his lip. He didn't know what to do; part of him wanted to run away, the other part wanted to grovel in front of Sakura and beg her forgiveness, and yet another part wanted to hold her, to tell her of his love for her and damn the consequences.

"What do you mean?" Dark Xiaolang, in Eriol's guise, gave Syaoran a hard, measuring look, then relaxed at what he saw.

_Good,_ he thought. Syaoran was emotionally overwrought, uncertain and unsure of himself. It made the younger boy easier to twist and manipulate as he needed.

Syaoran closed his eyes; he could not bring himself to tell Eriol the exact details of what he'd done to Sakura. Though he had not fully penetrated her, he had managed to enter her by about an inch, and she'd bled when he tried to make love to her. And the expression of pain on her face was unbearable; he'd give it all to take it back, to not have gotten carried away, to have had more control.

Instead, he said, "I… er, tried to make love to her."

Xiaolang turned pale as well. If Syaoran had taken Sakura's virginity, then all his plans were for nothing! _Stupid fool!_ He thought furiously.

"Tried? What do you mean, 'tried'? You either did or ya didn't!" He crossed over, turning Syaoran roughly and shaking him hard, lapsing into rough speech which was not characteristic of Xiaolang.

Not noticing the shift, Syaoran mistook the false Eriol's concern for anger. "Look, I didn't succeed in making love to her, all right? But I hurt her… and Gods, she might think I mentioned marriage to trick her into bed with me. I didn't mean it that way… I love her, I really do!"

Gritting his teeth, Xiaolang managed to keep his voice steady. "Did you penetrate her? Go all the way? Did you break her hymen? This is important! **Answer** me!" He crossed over and shook Syaoran hard.

"No!" Syaoran turned away from the false Eriol. It was a good thing for Xiaolang that Syaoran was so overwrought, it never occurred to the latter to ask why "Eriol" would be so interested in such intimate details. "I… did not manage to make love to her," he said in a strangled voice. "Is that a good thing?"

"Ah." Xiaolang sighed in relief and let go. "Yes. Yes, it is. Because…" and his expression turned serious, "are you intending to rob her of all her dignity?"

Startled, Syaoran turned back to his 'friend'. "What?"

"Look at you. You've made her fall in love with you. The way she looks at you… I gotta congratulate ya, Syaoran, she's your dog!"

Syaoran looked at the false Eriol. "Why are you talking that way?" His brow was furrowed in confusion at 'Eriol's' strange word choice.

_I've been careless,_ Xiaolang realized, and quickly added another lie to try and get Syaoran back on track with his guilt. "You're using her. Face it, Syaoran, she's become your dog. She loves ya-uh, you, is devoted to you—she even let you try and do the nasty with her, though you two aren't married! It's amazing how brilliant you are at subduing her. You really will go any length to win over the Reeds at Kuroyama, eh?"

Something was wrong, but Syaoran couldn't figure it out. Why was Eriol talking differently, choosing slang words and a different tone? And… what was Eriol suggesting?

"What are you trying to say?" Syaoran asked slowly.

"You're trying to enslave the Card Mistress. Good move, Syaoran. You teased her by pretending to kiss her then you slowly seduced her in your quarters. I know you tried to kiss her the day Cerberus came to this school. You also proposed marriage to her recently, but said it wasn't the right time… then that very night, you tried to seduce her. Brilliant." Xiaolang applauded sarcastically.

"I… no, I didn't!" Horrified, Syaoran backed off, not realizing that the real Eriol would have no way of knowing those details. Nor would Eriol's logic ever have been so faulty and ridiculous. It was something that would occur to him only when it was too late—because he trusted that it was Eriol in front of him.

"She needs to collect the cards. You are, at best, a distraction," the one Syaoran thought was Eriol said. "You didn't want her to get the cards, and you tried to take her virginity. Conquer her, by all means."

"That's not true!" Syaoran screamed. "I love her! I would never hurt her! I… I will do anything to prove it!"

_Just as I feared, _Xiaolang thought. "Then prove it by **not** enslaving her, fool. Prove your love by making her stronger. Stay away from her until she is done with capturing the Cards. Reject her before you destroy her. It's the only way!"

"What are you saying?" Syaoran's eyes were wide open with horror. "You want me… to…"

"… tell her you don't love her. Make her stronger. If you impose your ridiculous feelings on her don't you see what will happen?" Xiaolang's voice rose in volume and strength. "Are you trying to destroy her?"

"No! NO!" Syaoran dropped to his knees, holding his head. "I can't, I love her, I can't do that…"

"You can and you _**must**_. Her emotions for you muddled her thinking. That's why she fell off the tower," Xiaolang said in desperation.

"… what?"

Elated that his spying continued to bear fruit in the form of details he could use against Syaoran, Xiaolang recklessly bore down on Syaoran, not caring if Syaoran realized that the real Eriol could not possibly know about all this. "She was muddled about her family because of her feelings for you. That's why she jumped off the tower. You haven't done anything to reunite her with them, have you? Her family? No," and he smirked, "you have _**not**_."

"I…" Syaoran gulped. No, he hadn't; in all the months he and Sakura had been together, all he'd thought of was being with her, helping her capture cards… loving her. Time had passed so swiftly, and he hadn't cared.

Xiaolang sank the barb in deeper. "Can you truly love her if you cannot even think of reuniting her with her family? Tsk, Syaoran," and he waggled a finger, "are you sure you're not just taking advantage of the Card Mistress so you can say she's your slave? Why, I bet," and Xiaolang leaned in to whisper, "you just wanted to see her naked, see how she reacts when you make love to her. You wanted to use her body, to sate yourself on it and then," he moved even closer, "you would have discarded her. See, you can't stay away from her because you want to be the one to throw her away. I should applaud, cousin."

Seizing his pride—and not understanding the huge mistake Xiaolang had made with the word 'cousin,' Syaoran yelled, "No! I love her, and I'll prove it to you! I can stay away from her if it means she will be safe!"

"Well, then," Xiaolang smirked; on Eriol's face, the smirk was disconcerting.

"Fine. I'll show you I can be strong for her," Syaoran snarled.

"And what will you do?" Xiaolang asked.

"I…" Syaoran hesitated.

"I'll tell you. Let her go. Stop muddling her feelings so that she can catch the Cards!" Xiaolang barked. "Or are you so weak that all you can think of is to stay by her side and selfishly do what you want? Are you completely unable to think of Sakura's well being?"

"Yes!" Syaoran ground out. "I'll show you I can be a man when it comes to her!"

"Then reject her," Xiaolang said. "If you merely stay away from her all that will happen is that you will weaken. Reject her and stay away from her! Tell her you don't love her and teach her how to be strong!"

"You… you want me to lie?" Horror filled Syaoran's face.

"How else will you succeed?" Xiaolang yelled. "Staying away from her will only bring Sakura chasing after you! You must push her away so that she can be stronger. Stop being a selfish brat! Stop trying to force her into a relationship!"

"But I… I intended to marry her," Syaoran said brokenly.

"All you've done is ruin her," Xiolang said, pressing his face to Syaoran's to emphasize the point. "Can't you see that?" _Ruined her for me, that is,_ Xiaolang thought.

"You mean… if all I've done is destroy her…"

"You have," Xiaolang sneered. "Great work."

Syaoran was silent for a long time. The thought of letting Sakura go brought tears to his eyes, but if it was for her own good… then he would sacrifice himself.

"I'll do it," he whispered.

"Good." Xiaolang smiled, then left a confused Syaoran alone to his thoughts in his quarters.

Syaoran let his tears fall freely so that he could steel himself to lie to the girl he loved most of all. For her sake, he would pretend he didn't love her. Eriol's advice was always good, after all. Eriol would never betray him, and Eriol had Sakura's best interests at heart.

Outside, Xiaolang allowed himself a dry laugh. _Now on to Meilin,_ he thought. _She arrives soon, and I shall tell her exactly what I told Syaoran. _He would return home to make sure the ingredients for The Shot were complete, return to Shiroihana to manipulate Meilin, then trick Sakura into going with him.

He paused outside Sakura's quarters and used magic to force her lock open. Inside Sakura slept, a small smile on her lips.

Xiaolang closed the door behind him and moved to the bed. He touched Sakura's face gently.

"You will be mine, soon," he smiled. He bent down to kiss her lips.

Sakura frowned and rolled over in her sleep, and Xiaolang was infuriated when he heard her murmur, "Syaoran."

"No. You will say _**my**_ name, and soon!" He breathed slowly to calm himself down, fighting the urge to take her now that she was defenseless.

_No._ He needed to be prepared for her. He could wait just one more day to claim her.

He closed the door behind him, left the elite students' quarters, and once out of sight of Shiroihana, cast a wind spell to carry him home to Kuroyama.

* * *

"Brother. Welcome home," Fei Wang Reed opened his arms to an unresponsive Fujitaka Kinomoto, who did not move.

"**Adopted** brother," Fujitaka said quietly.

"Nonetheless," Fei Wang made a sweeping gesture, "make yourself at home." Comfortable chairs appeared behind Fujitaka and Touya.

"Why did you send people looking for us?" Fujitaka asked.

"You were in trouble, I'd say. But the one you need to thank is not me but my son," and Fei Wang looked to the chamber entrance. "This is Xiaolang."

Touya was unable to contain a gasp. When he looked at the handsome young man with the odd eyes beneath the entrance archway, he saw two spirits: one dark and evil, and in control; the other light but fading, desperately fighting to get out.

_What is going on? Is that man possessed?_ He tried to hide his revolted and curious expression from everyone.

Xiaolang looked at Touya Kinomoto, brother of the girl he was soon to claim for his own, and his eyes widened in rare surprise. _He sees spirits! He must not be allowed to see or help the weak one inside me!_

He bowed. "I sent trusted servants and mercenaries looking for you and your son, uncle Fujitaka. Your daughter mentioned that she did not know where you were, and I only wanted to grant her wish."

"Where is she?" Touya could not help that his tone was rude, and he knew standing up so abruptly was out of line, but he was sure of one thing: he did not want Sakura anywhere near this strangely possessed boy.

"She is… safe." Xiaolang decided it would be best to avoid Touya until he had Sakura under the influence of The Shot. Which meant he would have to deflower her at Shiroihana or somewhere nearby. He barely controlled a smirk at the thought of taking her virginity so near Syaoran.

"I shall bring her here soon. The road to the academy where she is, is unsafe."

"I'll go with you," Touya insisted.

"Please, cousin," Xiaolang smiled, but there was no humor or warmth in it, "you need to rest after what Kyle tells me you have been through." He rang a bell to summon a servant.

"Call Doctor Rondart to attend to the Kinomotos," he commanded.

"Your chambers are prepared," Fei Wang said. "Please, refresh yourselves and rest. I vow upon my honor that no harm shall come to you, Brother Fujitaka and son Touya, under my roof."

The vow only made the two male Kinomotos restless, but they allowed themselves to be escorted to the gorgeous quarters prepared for them. Fujitaka glanced at his son, his expression guarded, and Touya quickly understood that they could not talk safely, at least not for now.

"I am famished," Touya said, carefully pretending to be casual. "Would it be possible to get refreshments?"

"Of course," the servant escorting them and the doctor said. "Right away, Kinomoto-sama."

Touya knew he and his father needed to figure out a way to get out of this place, and soon. But they would wait for Sakura, then leave the accursed place called Kuroyama.

He smiled at the thought of seeing Sakura again.

* * *

"Meilin," called a voice as Meilin disembarked from the coach carrying her. She looked around and saw what looked like Eriol beckoning to her.

"Hey!" She ran towards the false Eriol and threw her arms around her friend. "Good to see you! How was your mission? How is Syaoran? How is Sakura? I met this boy, and I'm proud to tell you I may be over Syaoran!"

She was bubbling over with enthusiasm and happiness, thanks to the subtle spells Yelan Li had used to try and rebuild her psyche, but Xiaolang felt no pity for her. Instead he was angry that his favorite pawn should have rebuilt her life, found her way to happiness on her own.

_We can't have that,_ he sneered in his head.

Silently he cast the spell to dull Meilin's wits, then said, "That's what I wanted to talk to you about." He steered Meilin to a copse of trees outside Shiroihana where they were assured of privacy.

"Ara, so serious? What is it?" Meilin felt nervous; something was off about Eriol.

"Meilin, what I say to you must be strictly confidential," Xiaolang began.

Meilin's eyes widened. "Is something wrong?"

"Very wrong," and Xiaolang dropped his gaze to the ground for better effect. "Syaoran… he tried to seduce Sakura over the holidays."

Meilin gasped and put a hand over her mouth. "So… do you mean she is pregnant? Or—Kami-sama no," and Meilin's eyes filled with tears, "did… did Syaoran rape her?"

"Eriol" shook his head. "No, they didn't finish the act, but poor Sakura…" Xiaolang looked off in the distance, fighting the urge to laugh as Meilin was buying every silly word he said. "She… she… She's in love with Syaoran and he doesn't know if he loves her. He… he's using her like he did all those other girls. He wants to be the Card Mistress' consort... but he intends to court you on the side. Does that make you happy?"

Her heart leapt, then sank when she realized something. "But… Syaoran can't be that selfish…" Meilin 's voice dropped to a whisper. "He's not cruel, I know him, I…"

"You're blind to Syaoran's faults," Xiaolang chided. "I tell you things, and you trust me, right?"

Meilin nodded.

"I'm your friend," he said, staring into her eyes and speaking with two voices. To anyone listening, they could hear what looked like Eriol saying, "He's using her. He actually used a marriage proposal to lure her into bed; if I hadn't stopped them, who knows what he would have done?"

Underneath his words though was a spell that would take control of Meilin once in Syaoran's presence, something that would make her say things to aggravate Syaoran's already confused state.

"But why?" Meilin was aghast with horror; it never occurred to her that she was being fed a pack of lies. "I'll go talk to him…"

"You will do no such thing," Xiaolang grabbed her arm. Painfully.

Whimpering in protest, Meilin struggled to break "Eriol's" grip. Instead he leaned closer. "It's amazing how brilliant he was at subduing her. Pretending to be cold then being her friend and protector… He swore to me that he will go any length to triumph over the Reeds at Kuroyama."

"You mean he's obsessed?" Meilin frowned. "But why now?"

"Your prophecy dream, remember?" Xiaolang smiled as Meilin stared at him in shock. "I know all about it because he told me. He wants to beat Xiaolang so badly he'll use even Sakura. He said so himself. Are you going to let him do that?"

"He'll destroy her!" Meilin wailed, not realizing that Eriol had never known about that dream of hers. "No… We have to talk sense into him!"

"There is another way…" Xiaolang dangled the bait. "One which will help him see the light, and save Sakura in the process."

"Tell me!" Meilin begged. She was too scared, too overwrought to see that Xiaolang was manipulating her, lying outright and twisting her emotions and logic. It was easy, as The Shot had already left her wide open for such manipulations.

"Are you sure?" Xiaolang turned away from Meilin. "It involves a sacrifice of your pride, and only those who love can do it."

"I love him!" Meilin burst out. "I will save him from himself!"

"Can you make him stay away from her?"

"Oh." Meilin paused. "But…"

"Think about it. With more time she can capture more Cards, be free of his influence as he recovers his sanity."

"But how can I do that?"

"Play on his pride. Remind him of their relationship. Mock it. If he just stays away from her, she'll come running back. He has to reject her. For their own good! Are you listening?"

Meilin nodded, then pleaded, "Let me go. You're hurting me. You're not the only one who cares about him. I'll do it."

On the surface, Xiaolang said, "Good." But when Meilin's eyes glazed over as the final part of his spell took hold of her, he added, "Now here's what you say to him..."

* * *

Syaoran was suddenly grabbed from behind. He did not have to turn around to know it was Meilin.

"Syao-ran! Come have a taste of the eight treasures soup I made to celebrate my homecoming!"

"I'll try it at dinner," Syaoran sighed, shaking his arm loose of his cousin.

"But if this were Sakura's cooking you would try it!" Meilin protested.

"You already know I think your cooking's superb," Syaoran said dismissively. He turned to walk away.

Meilin's eyes glazed over as the spell took hold of her. "You're falling for that little stray cat," she accused. "You want to use her, don't you? You want to be the Card Mistress' consort. You're nothing but a user, Syaoran."

"No! No I'm not!" Syaoran said.

"Oh yeah right," Meilin rolled her eyes. "You're always looking at her. You let her call you 'Syaoran'. You try to be alone with her all the time… what did you do to her while we were all gone?" She placed her face right in front of Syaoran's. "Did you try to seduce her? Rape her?"

Fury blinded Syaoran to what Meilin was doing. "Shut it right now, Meilin, before I shut it for you…"

"Yeah? Go on, Syaoran!" Meilin yelled. "You don't love Sakura. You just want her so bad, don't you, like something you can own or possess?"

"Shut up! Shut up, you…" Syaoran yelled back.

"Yeah? When she learns what you've done, used her like some toy, you're gonna lose her to Xiaolang. He's always been more suave than you," Meilin taunted. "She'll be eating out of his hand within days." She knew the limits of what Syaoran's pride could tolerate, and she knew he would make some kind of challenge soon.

Provoked beyond his tolerance, Syaoran lowered his voice. "I will _not_ lose to Xiaolang. I'll show you. Sakura will be in love with me before a year is out. You hear me?" The heat of his anger only showed him a way to accomplish what he'd promised the false Eriol he would do—without thinking of the consequences.

"No, she won't," Meilin laughed. "She'll be Xiaolang's…"

"Sakura will confess to me, and you will be there to hear it! Tonight!" Syaoran saw an opportunity to do two things at the same time: silence Meilin and cut Sakura loose, free her to find her destiny without him standing in the way.

"Make it a bet," Meilin's expression had become calculating and shrewd; she had Syaoran where she thought she wanted him to be. "You must not lose your own heart in the process. Make her love you then spurn her when she confesses, else you become the coward of the Li clan!"

"All right, fine!" Syaoran recklessly agreed. "I swear it upon my pride! Are you happy now?"

Meilin did not bother to hide her elation; he'd made what was practically an unbreakable vow because his pride would allow him no way out without humiliating himself. Syaoran continued ranting, not noticing the triumphant expression on her face. "And if I win, you will stop calling me your fiancé, pay me ten gold coins, and you will sleep with Xiaolang," he said, his eyes glinting cruelly.

Meilin almost laughed. "Done. And if I win, you will marry _me_."

Syaoran blanched, but his pride refused to let him back down. "Enjoy being Xiaolang's mistress," he taunted.

"No, I'll enjoy being your wife." With that Meilin swept away; once inside her quarters, she began to laugh at how easy it had been to trick Syaoran into agreeing. Everything had simply flowed; she could have sworn she had heard a voice in her head telling her what to do and how to do it. Who said she was the magic-less one should have known that as a member of the Li clan, she had resources unavailable to others.

Syaoran stood where Meilin had left him, slowly growing calmer as the night wore on, only now understanding the enormity of what he had done. Make Sakura love him then spurn her in public? Or be forced to marry Meilin? How had he been manipulated into that?

**Nothing makes sense! **Syaoran screamed in his head. He sat down on his heels, hard. How had he been forced into this impossible corner?

* * *

Xiaolang, once again in the guise of Eriol, made his way to Sakura's quarters. Inside him, the trapped Xiaolang was screaming indignantly. Dark Xiaolang pressed his hands to his head.

_Leave her alone! _Trapped Xiaolang was screaming nonstop, desperately trying to distract Dark Xiaolang.

Dark Xiaolang stumbled, then brought out a dagger.

_You know what this is, _he smirked.

Trapped Xiaolang became silent. _No_, he whispered.

_If I use this on Sakura, _Eriol will be blamed. _No_, Dark Xiaolang smirked, _I'll force myself on her using this if you don't shut up, rape her in Eriol's form. How about that?_

_You can't perform if I distract you!_

_Then I'll kill her, _the dark Xiaolang gloated._ I may want her but I can also kill her. You know I mean it._

A long blessed silence followed, then Dark Xiaolang managed to muffle Trapped Xiaolang with a quick spell.

He knocked on Sakura's door just as the first rosy colors of dawn peeked over the horizon.

"Y-yes?" Sakura called fuzzily after a few knocks.

"Sakura?"

"E-Eriol-kun?" Sakura threw herself to her feet and opened the door. "You're back!" Then, "Hoe?" as Eriol pulled her into an embrace. She wriggled free, embarrassed; Eriol had never done that to her before.

"How have you been?" he asked genially.

"Oh." Sakura smiled.

"You look like you're in love," "Eriol" said.

Blushing, Sakura turned away. "I am," she said in a small voice.

"It's Syaoran, isn't it?" Xiaolang forced a hearty smile on his face. "Good choice."

"You approve?" Sakura's eyes sparkled with happiness. "Oh Eriol I just love him so much!"

"Then why not tell him?"

"Hoe?"

Xiaolang put an arm over Sakura's shoulders and squeezed her. "Tell him you love him. I can call him out to the garden tonight."

"I…" Sakura hesitated.

"Don't worry. It will be all right," Xiaolang said. "Seize the day—that's something the Romans say. So should you. Every moment is a beautiful chance. Don't waste it." Xiaolang almost laughed at his stupid lines; maudlin and silly, they were the kind girls loved to hear.

No better time than today. Sakura remembered Tomoyo's advice from what felt like long ago, then made up her mind.

"I'll do it!" She smiled happily. "Please tell Syaoran to meet me in the gardens tonight at the hour of the boar!"

"Good," Xiaolang almost laughed; it was so easy! "I'll make sure you two are alone."

"Thank you!" Elated, Sakura ran into the bathing stall and prepared the sakura blossom winter kimono Tomoyo had given her.

Tonight, she would tell Syaoran of her love.

* * *

Syaoran paced uneasily in the gardens, almost wishing Sakura would not show up. During the afternoon he'd avoided her by staying in one of the towers of the school. How could he do that to her?

"Second thoughts?" a voice said near his ear. Syaoran started and summoned his sword.

"Whoa, put that down!" Xiaolang, in the shape of Eriol, held up his hands. "Be strong, Syaoran. Stop mucking about and do what has to be done."

Syaoran sighed, and nodded; he could not afford to lose face in front of Eriol, after all. "I will."

It didn't help that Sakura came into the gardens looking impossibly beautiful in a sakura blossom-patterned kimono. Unable to resist, he bent down and kissed her.

Syaoran's kiss was soft and sweet. Sakura closed her eyes and pressed herself against him. She loved him so much, her heart felt like it would burst.

He pulled away, smiing slightly at her. Sakura smiled back radiantly, and then lowered her eyes, blushing. Now was the right time. She knew it. She held his hand in hers--he was so warm—and said what was in her heart.

_My last kiss to her, _he swore to himself. _At least for now._

"You called for me?" he asked.

Sakura grinned, fidgeted, then blushed. To his horror Syaoran realized that she was going to confess.

No!

Under better circumstances he would have welcomed this. Loved it, even. But now… No, for her sake he would be strong!

"I…I love you, Syaoran!" she declared, her eyes sparkling in happiness. "I love how kind you are, how you pretend to be grumpy but are really very thoughtful, for being such a nice guy."

Syaoran was frozen and almost gave in to the impulse to tell her that yes, he loved her too.

"A…and…do you love me too?" Her face was beautiful and expectant—Syaoran cursed himself for making her vulnerable to him. She **knew**.

And that was what firmed his resolve to do what he did. He swallowed hard, then steeled himself to tell the biggest lie of his life.

Sakura wondered at why Syaoran simply stared at her. Was this supposed to happen? Sakura wondered. Wasn't he supposed to embrace her and kiss her again and say he loved her too?

His next words made her world spin. "How can I love an idiot like you? Did you think our new closeness meant anything? You thought it was real? Fool! It was a bet!" He had forced an ugly sneer on his face, and Sakura watched, her eyes widening. "I said I could make you love me within a year. And look, it's only been ten months since you arrived at this academy!"

It was a lie; he'd only made the bet earlier with Meilin. The shattered look on her face spurred him, perversely, to more cruelty. "I bet I could woo you away from that idiot Xiaolang. That one really wants you. But now I can tell him you love me, not him, and he's lost to me this time. You love me? Be sure to tell him that the next time you meet him, tell him I've won this time, and you were the game."

Disbelieving, Sakura raised tear-filled eyes and looked into his. "Why are you saying these things? I know you! You…Someone made you say these things. You're only saying this because of the bet. I love you, Syaoran, and let me help you…"

"Are you going to cry now? Dear Sakura," he said sarcastically, "this was a lesson for you, Card Mistress. Don't trust everyone. You gave me the weapons to destroy you so easily, it was like taking candy from a child!"

"But Syaoran..." Sakura did not even notice the tears falling down her face, "you're my friend, right?"

"I don't make friends with idiots," he said cruelly. Then he laughed.

Gods below, he laughed at her. At first it was wild laughter because somehow she had seen through to his heart. _She knows!_ But then the laughter turned caustic as Syaoran slipped back into the role of heartless cad.

"You think I'm trying to be noble? Ah, Sakura."

How could she still believe in him after the horrible things he'd said? Kami-sama he wanted to hold her, to tell her the truth and bid her to run away with him and leave the world behind.

A rustling in the bushes reminded him that Eriol was watching. Was he going to give in to his selfishness? Absolutely not. He would not give in to weakness and he would let Sakura go.

"You're mine," he rasped, then he remembered words Yamazaki had jokingly written out for him once as being part of the dialogue of some sappy play he had seen. Syaoran decided to use them now so he wouldn't have to say what was truly in his heart. "You're such a dog that even after I've said all these things, you would still kiss me. Xiaolang is going to love that. Be sure to tell him everything I said."

He watched as the blood drained from her face, and she slowly sank to the ground. To cover up his feelings, which were urging him to take everything back and tell her the truth, he focused on the sound of what he thought was Eriol in the bushes. He would not fail Sakura now. He would have all the time in the world to make it up to her.

"Perhaps I should have taken what you were offering so blatantly," and he forced himself to run his eyes over her petite body in the style of the villain in the play he'd seen with Yamazaki. "But that would be too easy. Besides, I don't lower myself to sleep with the likes of you."

It cost him everything he had to walk away, leaving Sakura crumpled on the ground, sobbing so hard he was tempted to turn back. Instead he flung the fatal words over his shoulder, sealing their fates.

"Now learn from this, Card Mistress, and become stronger for it. Someday you'll thank me, when you're of more use to me."

Sakura lay against the cold, hard ground. Had Syaoran been fooling her all along? The one person who had accepted her here... The one person who she'd come to really love, to appreciate. Syaoran had been her lifeline, the person she would come to for consolation, the person who she'd allowed herself to fall for, the person... Oh, god, had it all been a lie?

It had, apparently.

Numbly she made her way back to her quarters. Her chest felt as though a hole had been ripped into it, and her throat...she was swallowing past a giant lump in it. She couldn't face anyone right now. Syaoran's laughter rang in her ears, and a fresh wave of tears rose to her eyes.

"Sakura?"

What looked like Eriol stood in front of her door. The darkness obscured his face from her.

"I told him... I loved him... he laughed... he..." Sakura slid to the floor in a miserable heap, and Xiaolang quickly caught her. Through her sobs, he soon had the story.

He fought the urge to scream and leap about for joy. How the puppets had danced to his tune! How wonderfully they had played their parts!

Then he came back to himself. "That bastard," he growled. "But he… What bet?"

Sakura shook her head, crying so hard now that Xiaolang knew it would be child's play to take her away now.

He gently embraced Sakura. "Shhh," he crooned. "It will be okay." He sighed then launched into his last salvo. "I had hoped to save this for a happier time, but Sakura… I found your family."

Through her tears and misery, Sakura heard him. "My otou-san? My onii-chan?"

"They are safe. They are at Kuroyama, and I can take you there now."

Blinded by her pain, Sakura agreed to leave Shiroihana in the dead of the night. Xiaolang helped her pack, consoling her as she continued to cry, then gave her the potion of The Shot.

"Drink this. You'll feel better," he coaxed her.

"It… It smells strange," Sakura hesitated. Something was screaming at her not to go with "Eriol," not to drink the potion… but she could not understand why she had to beware of a friend.

"I know. Most good potions smell horrible," he consoled her. "Drink up before we go. We'll pass the rest of the night at an inn, then make it to Kuroyama tomorrow." _By when you will be mine_, he gloated.

Sakura held her breath and downed the potion. "Ugh," she said.

"Here. Cover up with this cloak," Xiaolang ordered her.

"But why?"

"We're not allowed out at this time," he said.

When Sakura hesitated, he said, "Your brother Touya is overprotective… when I asked if you were married he got angry."

Sakura grinned, her trust in him bolstered. "Did you get to talk to my onii-chan?" she asked.

"Not for long. He scares me," "Eriol" chuckled.

"Ah, ha ha! You're right," she laughed. "Okay then." She put on the cloak, and Xiaolang, feeling triumphant, led her out of Shiroihana.

* * *

Yue bolted upright; he'd been fuzzy, unable to focus the whole day. But something had left the Academy and now he was sensing a strong trace of the evil Shot he'd sensed before… inside the Academy.

"Kaho!" he yelled as he flew to her door, pounding frantically on the door.

Instantly awake and alert, Kaho Mizuki flung her door open. "Yue! What is it?"

"The Shot! In the school!" he screamed. He flew through the corridors, desperately trying to trace the presence of The Shot, and his blood froze when he realized he was nearing the elite students' quarters.

"No," he moaned. "Kami-sama, Clow-sama, please don't let it be!"

The aura was overwhelming; Yue felt himself weakening, and he collapsed at the entrance to the elite students' quarters. The students spilled out of their rooms: Meilin screamed and tried to shake him, and Syaoran ran for Kaho Mizuki, who arrived quickly.

Yue was gasping for breath, trying to say something. Kaho placed a hand on his cheek.

"He's burning up. I'll need help. Quickly!"

Syaoran ran to obey, and went straight to Eriol's quarters. He was, after all, their best field medic.

"Eriol!" Syaoran screamed as he pounded on Eriol's door. "Come out and help us!"

But there was no answer, and Syaoran noticed the exterior locks for Eriol's room were sealed.

"Mizuki-sensei, I think he left again."

"Who?"

"Eriol… He's not in his room," Syaoran said.

"He… was here?" Kaho asked Syaoran. Strange; she always knew Eriol's aura and yet she had not sensed it.

"He arrived last night," Syaoran said. "Eriol! Blast it to hell, come out, _**Hiiragizawa**_!"

"He was never here," Kaho said slowly. "I know his aura, his presence. Syaoran, what are you talking about?"

"What?" Syaoran raised his head. "Impossible. I spoke to him last night."

"So did I, this morning," Meilin interjected.

Kaho stared at the two, then said, "Syaoran, go check on Sakura."

Syaoran swallowed hard. "I… I can't."

"Do it!" Kaho snapped.

She rarely lost control, and so Syaoran obeyed. He knocked on Sakura's door.

"Sakura?"

To his surprise the door creaked open. He looked inside; had she forgotten to lock the door again? He looked in and then gasped. The closet was hanging open; most of Sakura's clothes were gone.

"What the…" He called her name, opened the bathing stall, screamed, tried to feel her presence. Syaoran soon realized he could not feel her the way he used to.

"No… Kami-sama no!" Syaoran bolted out of the room and then noticed something smelling awful in a corner. It was a crystal potion bottle with some purple liquid residue at the bottom which was now turning black.

Had someone tried to kill Sakura? Maybe the person had also killed Eriol! Syaoran ran outside bellowing, and he showed Yue and Kaho the potion bottle.

Yue's eyes widened and with a herculean effort, he choked out, "That's the Shot! It… Been used… used on Sakura!"

* * *

**Coming up next: **Sakura is enslaved to Xiaolang, and Syaoran discovers his horrible mistake.

Please review? Thank you!


	12. The Use of Force

**Addiction Chapter 12**

**Author's note: **_Gomen nasai! Just realized that the prologue no longer corresponds to current events. I shall edit it once I have the time. In the meantime, please consider the events in this chapter and in 11 as the correct events. My bad!_

**Warning: **_The scene between Xiaolang and Sakura may be difficult to read, but this is the story's turning point. It returns to SxS next chapter, which I am already halfway done with. _

**Acknowledgements: **To **MikoKagome1113**, as always, for her beta help. This chapter and the next ones owe much of their coherence to her and to **beaucoup riant** and **EsaMaRie**, who helped settle issues of plot that were bothering me. Thank you so, so much!

Please review? Reviews make authors happy, thank you!

Title taken from a scary story by William Carlos Williams. I intend no challenge to the author by borrowing his title.

* * *

**The Use of Force**

Sakura couldn't help it; as she sat in the back of the cart driven by "Eriol", she began to cry. She was leaving Syaoran behind, after all—and even if he'd told her all those awful things, even if he had rejected her so coldly, so cruelly… she still loved him.

She had never felt such pain in her heart and she felt ashamed of herself. Shouldn't she be happier because she was going to see her family?

But Sakura couldn't help wondering if she had been so completely wrong about her feelings and Syaoran's. The time they had spent together was short but he had helped her with the Clow cards, taught her so much—to sense Cards, to deal with them, to capture them and pass their tests. He had taken care of her, been there when she cried, patiently nursed her when she'd had bad dreams, even saved her food when she forgot to eat.

And the last two weeks, alone at the academy… Hadn't he asked her to marry him?

_I thought he loved me. _The way he looked at her, the way he had taken care of her, and how he had been when they had made love… Sakura closed her eyes. That memory would never let her go, and had haunted her. She could still feel his lips on her skin, tasting her gently, his fingers exploring her secrets, his body on hers… and the pleasure was bittersweet because she did not know if she would ever be with him that way again.

What niggled at her was that he had experience; Sakura would have to be blind not to know that the reason why Syaoran's caresses, his ability to lead her through the entire experience, was because he'd had other girls before.

But he had been so tender, and the look in his eyes, like he couldn't keep his eyes off her, like he couldn't kiss her enough…

But. So many "but's". Could it be that her inexperience had led her to imagine Syaoran's feelings?

_Of course you imagined his feelings of love. You mistook lust for love. You were a fool_, a voice said.

Sakura blinked. Where had that voice come from? She looked around, but there was only "Eriol" and herself on a lonely road. In the distance the lights of a village shone through the snow.

Had she imagined it?

_Do you think he loved you? All he wanted was the Clow cards. That's what he said, right? He never said he loved you, did he? _The voice, bitter and angry, sounded familiar to Sakura but she couldn't place it.

_He betrayed us. He used us, pretended to be nice to us… We loved him, we gave him everything and for what? For him to throw us aside like a used rag!_

_Who's us? _Sakura thought back, confused. Her breath catching in her throat, Sakura whispered, "Who are you?"

_I am you. I'm the strong part of you. I am the one who kept you going when you wanted to die when you lost your family. I'm the one who helped you catch the Cards… and I'm the one you refused to listen to about Syaoran._

"No…" Sakura shivered. It was her voice, but it was full of hate and anger and bitterness, emotions she had never dealt with in her life. "That's not true. I have never doubted him."

_Oh really? Think back on your first days at the Academy then._

"No, I liked him," Sakura said softly. Was she going insane? The trees and snow were blurring in her eyes and she closed them to clear her mind. "He was always good to me."

_Even when he called you an idiot and mocked you during your first meal?_

"No… stop it…" Sakura whispered.

Xiaolang turned around and saw Sakura's pale face. She was arguing with someone in her head, and he allowed himself a smile. It meant she was beginning to fall under The Shot; the development of the alternate personality was the first step.

_Don't you forget what he said to us, _the voice continued in Sakura's head._ He asked, _how can I love an idiot like you? Did you think our new closeness meant anything? You thought it was real? Fool! It was a bet! I said I could make you love me within a year._ What do you think made him say that? Why would he lie? Syaoran does not lie. I accept that. Why can't you?_

"No! Syaoran only said that… I know him! Something made him do it… it's his pride…" Sakura argued back.

_Stop defending him! _A shape was beginning to form in Sakura's vision, and to her horror it was herself, dark and furious, black-eyed with hate. _You know he hates Xiaolang; he's talked to us about it before. This explanation makes sense in light of his behavior. We were a game to him!_ the dark Sakura raged. _How long can you stay blind? Why do you still believe in him? Syaoran is a selfish, prideful bastard. He left you crying on the ground. He laughed at you. Actions speak louder than words; if you think he lied then where is he? He never came back to you. If he loved you he would have come to you! Why would he have said all those things? How can those words protect you? What did he hope to achieve?_

"I don't know!" Sakura began to sob, but she faced her other self squarely, no longer caring if "Eriol" could hear.

Had she been less focused on her anguish, she would have realized that "Eriol" felt different, that his magic was dark and tainted. "But using your argument, how long could he have put on such an act? All those kindnesses, all his tenderness… It couldn't have been an act!"

_Idiot! He taught you well. You are his dog. But not me!_

"He stopped!" Sakura whispered, so softly that Xiaolang could not hear. "I was hurt and he stopped…"

The dark Sakura was silent for a while, then, "Only because he wanted to sample you. That was not love."

Sakura shook her head. No. Syaoran had done it for a reason; his actions had been false, and she trusted her instincts when it came to him.

_I will do you a favor. Those thoughts of yours weaken you. I'll take care of him once I am in control, _the dark Sakura said as she faded.

"No! I won't let you!" But Sakura was weakening. The hurt of Syaoran's rejection, the pain of all she felt… Sakura called her staff, but the magical expenditure of energy drained the energies she was subconsciously using to fight The Shot, and she lost consciousness.

"Perfect," Xiaolang smirked. They were nearing the inn, and he carried Sakura inside, dropping several gold coins into the startled innkeeper's hands and leaving instructions not to be disturbed… "or else."

Frightened, the old man complied, and showed them to the biggest room at the top of the inn. As soon as the door closed, Xiaolang dropped his "Eriol" guise and began to shed his clothing. He roughly stripped Sakura of hers, then got into bed with her.

Now she would be his.

* * *

Yue's eyes widened and with a herculean effort, he choked out, "The Shot! Been used… used on Sakura! Weakening spell… left behind for me…"

"No!" Kaho stood up. Her eyes burned with a fire Syaoran had never seen before.

"Gather all the older students," she commanded Syaoran. "That… whoever took Sakura can't be far! Search every house, every inn… We must find her before whoever gave her that potion can seduce her!"

"What?" Syaoran felt faint. "No! It can't be! The only other person here was Eriol!" Had he made a mistake? But Eriol… No! He trusted Eriol's word. He had done all this for Sakura, but the pain of lying to her and saying all those terrible things to her… Had he led her into a trap?

Kaho narrowed her eyes. "I told you, Eriol has _**not**_ been in this academy! I know his presence! Share your memory!" she barked at Syaoran, who quickly touched his forehead to Yue's.

Yue, despite his weakened state, read the images in Syaoran's mind, then recoiled in horror.

"You… fool," Yue moaned. "That was not Eriol…" he gasped.

Syaoran's voice dropped to a whisper. "Not… Eriol?"

Yue nodded, and he stretched his wings, performing a spell of some kind. It took a lot out of him, but eventually he sat up.

"I did not see who it was, but… whoever it was, was the person The Shot ensnared all those months ago," he said shakily. "Only a high level magic user can conceal themselves that well…"

"This has to have something to do with Fei Wang Reed." Kaho's voice was cold. "For that spell to work they need Eriol and his clothes and hair. He was headed to Kuroyama last month. Someone among the Reeds came here and pretended to be Eriol."

Syaoran blanched, realizing he had been played completely for a fool.

_What have I done? _He collapsed to his knees, and did not feel the moisture on his cheeks. He had hurt the girl he loved most in the world and for what? Because he had trusted the word of a liar!

"Sakura," he whispered softly. The love he felt for her reared in his chest, causing a pain sharp as a knife. **Why** had he allowed himself to be used that way? Why had he not listened to the instincts that told him something was off with the false Eriol? Why had he believed?

Her hurt eyes, her tears swam in his vision. Her crumpled form on the snow-strewn ground… why had he not given in to the urge to tell her? Syaoran stifled the urge to run himself through with his sword to atone for his disgrace; dead, he could no longer pay Sakura back for what he had done.

_I should have told her! I should have trusted her enough with the truth, and told her I loved her! I… _His emotions gave way to a loud, anguished cry which startled everyone in the room with him.

_Shut up! Stop pitying yourself and think! _he thought fiercely. So that he could focus, he squeezed his eyes shut and allowed his mind to race. Who stood to gain from all this? Who wanted Sakura that badly? He quickly processed what he remembered, then realized who it could have been.

_No…_

"The false Eriol asked for me to admit him to our quarters, meaning he was prevented by our ward," he said as he grimly strapped on his armor, brought to him by a younger student. "He knew things… things Eriol should not have known, intimacies… And his speech was different… And he was far too interested in Sakura…"

With a blinding flash Syaoran realized who it was.

"Xiaolang Reed," he snarled. "Why has he kidnapped her? To gain custody of the Card Mistress?"

"Kidnapping would be better compared to what he truly intends," Kaho said, her voice grim. "Have you heard of The Shot?" Kaho said. "The Lis were its custodians for a while.

"No," Syaoran sheathed his sword and strapped it to his belt. "But it can't be good."

Quickly Kaho explained what it was, and Syaoran paled. "Definitely Xiaolang Reed. He's the only one with that kind of intention towards Sakura."

"And how did you know?"

It was Syaoran's turn to tell Kaho his story, and he did so as fast as he could.

Kaho looked at him. "We'll discuss your stupidity another time. Now spread out and search. If we don't recover her tonight… the effects of the Shot," and she looked away, "no one has ever fought them successfully."

"They failed?" Syaoran asked.

"No. They died by their own hand. The sexual addiction is impossible to resist, and if the ritual is performed correctly on a virgin girl… she is a virgin, isn't she, Syaoran?" Kaho raised an eyebrow.

_I'm not sure… I almost took it, but… _Syaoran bit his tongue to keep from saying his thoughts, and looked away. "Yes," he muttered.

"Then if Xiaolang is the perpetrator and he succeeds in performing the ritual and giving her the potion, then you must say goodbye to her... _**forever."**_

* * *

Sakura could not figure out where she was and why she was lying in what felt like a luxurious bed. Her mind was chasing itself around and around as voices whispered broken phrases to her. Her body, though…

It was on fire.

Hope sprang up in her; only Syaoran could make her feel that way. She could not open her eyes but the sensual pleasure was driving coherent thought from her mind. Only one person could make her body respond that way… but didn't he hate her? Didn't he tell her he did not love her?

"Syaoran?" she whispered.

"No. Say my name," a voice responded. "Xiaolang."

Then someone was kissing her, but the kiss… It wasn't tender the way Syaoran's kiss was. She managed to open her eyes, and she saw Xiaolang above her. They were both naked, and he was doing things to her, things to her body only Syaoran had the right to do.

And someone inside her was responding; the dark Sakura she'd seen earlier was moaning and begging for more.

Horrified, she somehow she broke through the muzziness of her mind and screamed. "No! Don't touch me!" She summoned her Key and Staff, throwing Xiaolang off her with surprising strength.

"Where is Eriol? Why are you here? What are you doing to me?" she asked shakily as she gathered the blankets about her.

Xiaolang frowned. Should she even be able to fight the potion?

But she _**was**_ fighting the potion. Sakura glared at him and demanded, "What have you done to Eriol?"

Good thing he had come prepared with one of the Cards that his father had trapped on Kuroyama when Sakura had released them. He smirked then pulled it out of his cloak, whispering a command to it: "Subdue her by becoming the image of the one she loves."

_A Clow Card!_ Sakura only had time to register that thought when Syaoran was standing before her.

"Sy-Syaoran?"

He nodded, and touched her cheek. Stroking her hair, he bent and kissed her forehead, though he was mute.

"Why can't you… Is something wrong?"

Eyes full of sorrow, the false Syaoran kissed Sakura's hand upon Xiaolang's command.

She dropped the staff. "Syaoran" smiled, and reached out a hand. "Oh Syaoran please, I love you, you can't do this, I know someone must have told you something…" Tears spilled from her eyes and the false Syaoran touched them.

_**Curse it,**_ Xiaolang thought as he watched them. He would have to **be** Syaoran to finish what he'd started. Who knew what the effects of tampering with the Shot's ritual would be? But distasteful as the thought was, he needed Sakura to be compliant until he could finish the spell.

Slowly he cast a glamour on his right eye, turning the color from blue to brown. Then he worked on his hair, darkening its shade and making it more piecey the way Syaoran's hair was.

He could hear Sakura sobbing happily, calling Syaoran's name as the Mirror card held her in its arms; it made him grit his teeth in anger. Why did she love that cousin of his, the fool who had been so easily manipulated into denying and rejecting her?

The Xiaolang trapped inside him managed to force a thought into his head: _Had I been given the chance, I could have won her heart. That would have been better than this farce!_

Angrily Xiaolang forced the trapped Xiaolang down and shut him up. He glanced into the mirror to check his appearance; satisfied that he was now Syaoran in body, with a snap of his fingers the Card he used came back to his hand. Sakura looked at him, confused.

"I'm here," he said gently, assuming the tone of voice Syaoran used. "Come, darling."

_**Darling? **_Sakura was confused. First "Syaoran" hadn't talked to her, and then now he was calling her "darling," which he never had.

"Syaoran?" she asked unsteadily. The fever was beginning to take over her mind again, and she could not tell if it was today or yesterday or… Had Syaoran just told her he didn't love her? Or was that a year ago?

"I love you," Xiaolang said, still in Syaoran's gentle tones.

"But you… you said…"

"That was a lie," Xiaolang said as he took her into his arms.

Sakura smiled. "I knew it."

She was beginning to calm down, and Dark Xiaolang, who had bought the silence of the trapped Xiaolang at a cost to himself needed to assume a role, a balancing perspective. And so he borrowed Syaoran's personality and looks to seduce Sakura, to use the forbidden caresses, becoming Syaoran, in effect.

His hands played with her nipples as he marked her with the mechanical caresses the Shot required. Sakura, who was beginning to sense something wrong, fought with the other Sakura inside her, who was responding to the caresses.

"Syaoran," she whispered as he began to lick at her womanhood in the circles the ritual required. She needed to have several orgasms before he could take her, and Xiaolang was having difficulty as Sakura was fighting her own pleasure—but she was having them.

"Say it the right way," he coaxed her. "Say 'Xiaolang,' my darling. It's the Chinese version of Syaoran."

"Xiao…Lang…" Sakura whispered softly. Then she said it again, though Xiaolang could swear she had said 'Syaoran.' "I love you," she said softly, "Syao… ran…" so softly, it sounded like 'Xiaolang'.

The key phrase he'd been impatiently waiting for: "I love you" coupled with his name. It required him to take her virginity at that point. Xiaolang thrust swiftly into Sakura and was shocked when she screamed in pain. That was not supposed to happen! She was supposed to go into an instant orgasm, which he would then amplify with a spell to Imprint her feelings on him permanently.

"It hurts!" For a terrifying moment Sakura came back to herself; the pleasure of Xiaolang's caresses faded, and she saw clearly that she was not in Syaoran's arms as Xiaolang's glamours faded.

"NO! Syaoran! You're not Syaoran! Get off me! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME? YOU TRICKED ME!"

Sakura was going hysterical at the sight of blood where he had entered her, fighting to dislodge him, screaming Syaoran's name. Xiaolang was forced to pull out of Sakura; once he had, Sakura herself put up Shield to keep him away from her, though the effort cost her much energy.

He then felt magic, hostile towards him; he erected a magical shield just in time to prevent the Clow Cards from attacking him in a desperate attempt to save their Mistress. Xiaolang had to expend much energy fighting the Cards. He had not known about the bond the Cards formed with their Mistress once captured, and it was taking the strength he needed for The Shot's ritual to fight them with his magic.

_What is this? _He was stunned; the Clow cards were not supposed to be able to attack on their own, after all. But here they were, fighting him and creating obstacles between him and Sakura, who was lying in a dazed, bleeding heap on the bed, struggling desperately to make sense of where she was.

At first he tried to use Mirror to confuse them; he commanded it to assume his form and fight alongside him. But to his shock the other Cards subdued it.

_How is that possible? Mirror is a special card, meant to be immune from the attack cards; the Card Mistress is the only one who can seal it by recognizing it! _Xiaolang tried to summon Mirror back but received a hard hit from Windy when he let down his guard.

Watery flooded the room, creating an island of the bed and a moat between him and Sakura. Xiaolang used a freezing spell to subdue it, but the enormous effort required began to drain him of his energies.

Firey was raging, burning through the shield; Maze had turned the inn into a fortress, trying to force a wall between Xiaolang and Sakura. The other Cards were fighting just as fiercely to try and save their Mistress; in a lapse of concentration as he tried to knock out Firey, Wood managed to slip under Xiaolang's guard and it got a grip on him, holding him down. He used a fire spell to hurt the Card, but then he saw how many other Cards were still waiting for a chance to attack him.

There was no choice. He finally managed to subdue them after unleashing a forbidden spell that drained the Cards of energy and transferred it to him. The Cards collapsed and turned back into ordinary cards, except now they looked transparent and pale. Xiaolang knew Sakura would have to pay the price later to revive them, but he no longer cared; he could sense Yue and Syaoran coming closer, and he needed to finish the ritual… immediately. He had to bind Sakura to himself before they could save her.

Sakura was mewling in pain and crawling towards her Staff, which she had dropped when he had drained the Cards. Knowing she would draw energy from it, Xiaolang grabbed her, forcing her down, and crushing her lips with his to still her cries. Then he cast a spell to sedate her; he was desperate to control Sakura.

Again he began the caresses; he went through the ritual once more. She lay there, eyes open and dull; he knew he had crossed the line and this had turned into him forcing himself on her. _I don't care! She is mine! _

But tears trickled from her eyes. He couldn't bear to just rape her; besides, the Shot demanded her pleasure be part of the ritual. Reluctantly he recast the glamour that had been dispelled as he fought the Cards.

"Sakura," he said when he turned back to her.

"Syaoran?" Disbelievingly Sakura reached out a hand. She looked so defeated and traumatized that Xiaolang could not help but comfort her.

"Don't leave me again. Don't leave me alone with that… that man," she said as he folded her into his arms. "He hurt me."

"Shh. I'll make it all right."

"I love you, Syaoran."

"Say my Chinese name," he said gently.

"Xiaolang," Sakura whispered.

Sighing in relief, Xiaolang continued, using magic to help him stimulate the right responses of pleasure out of her. He had to keep correcting her as she moaned Syaoran's name over and over. Finally he got her to say his name along with "I love you" with more trickery, and with that he thrust into her again, but more slowly this time, afraid he would hurt her and wake her up again.

Sakura wept inside her mind. She could feel herself being torn apart in her head; something frightening was taking shape in her mind, and it scared her. Her own presence was being forced back, into the prison of her mind, and someone else was there, someone dark and angry and hate-filled.

The only thing that consoled her was the presence of her mother. Though she could not see Nadeshiko Kinomoto, she could feel the love and consolation her mother was somehow offering through the pain and humiliation of what Xiaolang was doing to her.

It suddenly became clear to her what had happened when she glimpsed into Xiaolang's soul as he entered her again. She saw the real him, trapped and unable to speak.

"Xiaolang-san!" She ran to him in the formless world that was in their heads; the union of their bodies had allowed them to meet.

The trapped Xiaolang turned away in shame, his eyes filling with tears. He prostrated himself before her, wordlessly offering apologies, promising reparation.

Sakura touched his arm and he looked at her.

"He did this to you, didn't he?" Sakura said. "That other you? Because… he keeps pretending he's Syaoran." She could think clearly now, and away from Xiaolang's caresses, she could see what was happening.

"I must stop it! Help me!"

The trapped Xiaolang nodded, and beckoned with his head. Since he could not talk, he pressed his forehead to hers, quickly pouring out what he had seen and observed as he was trapped. Sakura gasped as the images began rolling through her mind. How Xiaolang had been trapped by his father. How Eriol was now a prisoner in the Reed fortress of Kuroyama. How the Dark Xiaolang had manipulated Syaoran's love for her to force him to reject her, and how poor Meilin's soul was slowly being destroyed by Dark Xiaolang and his father.

They had all been fooled and used.

"NO!" Sakura screamed. "I WON'T LET HIM DO THIS TO US!" She stood up and cast about for her staff, furious and ready to fight. A blinding light radiated from her, chasing away the shadows.

Then the trapped Xiaolang's eyes widened and he tried to warn Sakura by nodding his head. Before she could react, Sakura found herself smacked into the trapped Xiaolang. Cruel hands grabbed her hair and bound her arms and feet just as Xiaolang's own limbs were bound. Then she was dragged away and dumped unceremoniously in an area far from Xiaolang.

Sakura looked up. The dark, twisted version of her was smirking.

"I am going to enjoy your life," she laughed, a high and coldly mirthless laugh, "Card Mistress." She turned to walk away, then turned back.

"Oh," and she slapped Sakura so hard, Sakura saw stars. "That's for being such a stupid innocent idiot. That time is over. I'm going to use your beautiful little body to whore myself to Xiaolang… soon my husband, and yours. And then…" and she bent down to whisper in Sakura's ear, "I'll make Syaoran pay for what he did to us."

Struggling against her bonds, Sakura glared angrily at the dark version of herself, who merely laughed and disappeared. Then Sakura was forced to watch as she began to respond to Xiaolang's caresses, behaving like a sex-crazed whore, demanding repeated orgasms and sex from Xiaolang.

"Mount me!" she heard her other half screaming. "Fuck me, take me, spill your seed inside me!"

Sakura began to sob. It was beyond any violation she had ever known; the other Sakura had taken over and was turning her into something she did not recognize. It horrified and shamed and scared her.

Xiaolang reached out a hand; it was all he could do, to watch the girl he could have loved and courted turned into the whore of his dark half.

Incredibly she turned to him and her eyes were large and sympathetic. How she could spare a thought for him even in her darkest hour made Xiaolang admire her even more. _The moment I have control of my body I will avenge you, Sakura!_ he vowed

As their other selves rutted, Sakura could feel a mist of some kind forming between her and Xiaolang. When the dark Sakura disengaged finally from the dark Xiaolang from exhaustion, Sakura found that she could no longer see the trapped Xiaolang. Maybe it was her tears. Whatever it was, she knew she was like him now: trapped.

And she was scared that she would never see Syaoran again.

A rustling alerted her to other presences. Her Cards had manifested, all looking sad and contrite.

"It wasn't your fault," Sakura said gently. Wood wiped away her tears, and Firey cast a warming glow. She touched each card. They seemed pale and insubstantial.

"What happened to you?" Their energies seemed spent, and one by one, each Card collapsed. None of them could talk but they indicated Sakura's chest, from which another Clow Card was emerging. It was a beautiful woman of light, who nodded sadly at Sakura.

"Because the darkness has taken over your body, I must leave," she said regretfully.

"But why?"

"While you loved Syaoran, I was alive," she said. "I am Light, and I lived in your heart, growing stronger with your love for him. But now I must leave because your very soul has been torn in two. I am sorry. I would have wanted you to be my Mistress."

Sakura could feel tears again. How could so much go wrong in so little time?

"But remember: there is hope still within you. Be strong. Syaoran gave you a gift, only you and he do not know it," she said softly. "Remember this when you next see Eriol."

"Why?"

"He can help you. As can your brother. But the one to set you free is Syaoran."

"How do you know?" Sakura was sniffing, trying hard not to cry and to be strong.

Light smiled. "Because it is in _**his **_heart that I shall live now." She kissed Sakura's forehead and disappeared, as did the other Clow cards.

Exhausted, Sakura cried herself to sleep, fighting to believe in Syaoran and in a way out of her prison.

* * *

**Next chapter:** Someone finds Sakura in bed with Xiaolang, Sakura fights herself, and Syaoran begins the long hard road of atoning for what he did to Sakura.


	13. The Reign of the Dark Ones

**Addiction 13: The Reign of the Dark Ones**

I've tried to keep the sexual content to a minimum and only where needed to show character and develop conflict. Please take the M rating seriously.

This became a monster chapter, broken into three already as my generous, wonderful betas helped me piece together the story. Without them (**beaucoup riant** and **MikoKagome1113**) this chapter, this story would be nothing.

Author's notes below; just post me a review if you have questions.

* * *

**Previously: **

_Sakura wept inside her mind. She could feel herself being torn apart in her head; something frightening was taking shape in her mind, and it scared her. Her own presence was being forced back, into the prison of her mind, and someone else was there, someone dark and angry and hate-filled._

_The only thing that consoled her was the presence of her mother. Though she could not see Nadeshiko Kinomoto, she could feel the love and consolation her mother was somehow offering through the pain and humiliation of what Xiaolang was doing to her._

_It suddenly became clear to her what had happened when she glimpsed into Xiaolang's soul as he entered her again. She saw the real him, trapped and unable to speak._

_"Xiaolang-san!" She ran to him in the formless world that was in their heads; the union of their bodies had allowed them to meet._

_The trapped Xiaolang turned away in shame, his eyes filling with tears. He prostrated himself before her, wordlessly offering apologies, promising reparation._

_Sakura touched his arm and he looked at her._

_"He did this to you, didn't he?" Sakura said. "That other you? Because… he keeps pretending he's Syaoran." She could think clearly now, and away from Xiaolang's caresses, she could see what was happening._

_"I must stop it! Help me!"_

_The trapped Xiaolang nodded, and beckoned with his head. Since he could not talk, he pressed his forehead to hers, quickly pouring out what he had seen and observed as he was trapped. Sakura gasped as the images began rolling through her mind. How Xiaolang had been trapped by his father. How Eriol was now a prisoner in the Reed fortress of Kuroyama. How the Dark Xiaolang had manipulated Syaoran's love for her to force him to reject her, and how poor Meilin's soul was slowly being destroyed by Dark Xiaolang and his father._

_They had all been fooled and used._

_"NO!" Sakura screamed. "I WON'T LET HIM DO THIS TO US!" She stood up and cast about for her staff, furious and ready to fight. A blinding light radiated from her, chasing away the shadows._

_Then the trapped Xiaolang's eyes widened and he tried to warn Sakura by nodding his head. Before she could react, Sakura found herself smacked into the trapped Xiaolang. Cruel hands grabbed her hair and bound her arms and feet just as Xiaolang's own limbs were bound. Then she was dragged away and dumped unceremoniously in an area far from Xiaolang._

_Sakura looked up. The dark, twisted version of her was smirking._

_"I am going to enjoy your life," she laughed, a high and coldly mirthless laugh, "Card Mistress." She turned to walk away, then turned back._

_"Oh," and she slapped Sakura so hard, Sakura saw stars. "That's for being such a stupid innocent idiot. That time is over. I'm going to use your beautiful little body to whore myself to Xiaolang… soon my husband, and yours. And then…" and she bent down to whisper in Sakura's ear, "I'll make Syaoran pay for what he did to us."_

**

* * *

**

**Addiction 13: The Reign of the Dark Ones**

Syaoran's wind spell rushed him past cottages and small villages, the wind lashing at his eyes, making them sting as he flew. He was determined to find Sakura, although what he would say when he did see her, he had no idea. What could he say after what he'd done to her?

He knew one thing though: he would not stop until he had paid for his atrocious mistake. How, he did not know but he would not give up, not even if it took the rest of his life. He now understood how badly he had been manipulated, how foolish he had been… and how sorry he was that he had allowed his pride in 'protecting Sakura, doing what's best for her' take over his common sense.

The trail of magic suddenly grew stronger and he detected the remnants of its use; for a brief moment he could feel the surge of energy that meant several Cards being used, all at the same time. _Danger!_ Syaoran almost cried out as he rushed towards the source of the magic; only Sakura could use the Cards, and he feared for her wellbeing if she allowed herself to be drained by the use of too many Cards. It was something he'd warned her about in the past; magic, after all, had to feed on something, and the only person who could feed the Clow Cards was Sakura herself.

_No! _If they weakened her enough, she might become susceptible to other influences. Syaoran remembered Kaho Mizuki's warnings about the Shot scroll, and what little he had learned of it in the scant time he'd had before he'd had to set out to find and save Sakura was that if she was too weak to fight the spell, terrible things could happen.

She might even die, if she were weak enough and the magic use drained her to that point, and Syaoran's blood ran cold when he realized that what he had done to Sakura—confused and hurt her just the night before—might have left her vulnerable to the Shot.

_I cannot let her die or be hurt because of my stupidity! _He raged at himself. Syaoran shot through the door of a small inn where the magic was strongest, and demanded of the frightened elderly owner, "Have a man and a woman entered in the past few hours? The woman would be unconscious."

Quivering in fear at the sight of an angry noble, the old man reported seeing someone fitting Sakura's description being carried into a room by someone who looked like Eriol. "S-second floor, room at end of c-c-corrid-dor, master, b-best r-room in t…"

Syaoran didn't wait for him to finish; he put on a burst of speed and tore up the stairs, dashing towards the room described. But all of a sudden, he got lost in Maze, which sprang up in front of him.

"Let me through, Sakura's in danger!" he pleaded.

Nothing happened, and Syaoran summoned his sword, preparing to tear through Maze when all of a sudden, it faded. Then other Clow Cards rushed past him, mindless with fear and in their original forms. What in the nether world had happened?

He continued moving towards the door where the magic was strongest, But the Cards ran wildly before him in their true forms, and Syaoran had to stop to avoid their frantic lurching. One by one they collapsed and he stared in horror as they shimmered, halfway between being cards and being in their true forms. He was horrified to realize that they had been stripped of energy somehow and were in danger of disappearing completely.

Such drainage on the Cards' energy could only have been accomplished through dark magic, the kind Syaoran feared because it could consume the user utterly. He had been warned about a distant grand-uncle who had lived in Clow Reed's time, Li Kuroshi, who had used dark magic to claim the woman he wanted, who had been promised to another.

Kuroshi had attained such power that even his appearance was altered, the entire orb of his eye going black. Then the woman he loved had died; the strain of the spell that had been used to force her to fall in love with him had destroyed her from within. His grief drove the already unbalanced man insane, and it had taken the combined forces of Clow Reed, his longtime partner the Dimensional Witch Yuuko Ichihara, and the entire Li clan to bring the mad mage down. The horror of what had happened still haunted the Lis over two hundred years later.

And that was a good reason why Syaoran preferred to work with natural magic; Syaoran did not want ultimate power, not after his mother Yelan's many warnings—although the prospect was, truthfully, very tempting.

But it was not worth losing his life and identity over; that was the price users of dark magic ultimately paid, as Karoshi's example made terrifyingly clear. They lost themselves as the darkest parts of their being came to the fore and utterly consumed the good parts of who they were. This was why Li costumes and clan insignia—Syaoran's sword included—carried the yin yang symbol: it was a grim reminder to never lose the self, to always strike a balance between the self and the darkness within.

Just as Syaoran neared the door after he'd maneuvered past several afficted Cards, something white and ethereally beautiful drew up in front of him and called his name. Warily, he put up his sword and assumed a fighting stance.

"Li Syaoran," called a soft, musical woman's voice.

Syaoran immediately realized it was a card: the Light card, one of the strongest Cards. He dropped the sword.

"Why?" was all he was able to say.

"Syaoran. Only you can save Sakura from herself now," it said sorrowfully.

_From herself?_ Syaoran's brow knitted; he could ask what she meant later. "Where is she?"

"Where even you cannot follow," Light said softly.

His insides seized with fear, and Syaoran probed for Sakura's aura. Ah, there it was. She was still alive then. What was the Card trying to say?

Her sorrowful expression scared Syaoran in a way he'd never felt in his life before, a feeling made worse by knowing that he was at the root of this storm, that he was at fault.

"In a sense you are too late," Light said. "But if you can work with Sakura to save her—**all** of her—then you will succeed. It will not be easy; it will take everything you have, and you may even lose your life. Will you still undertake this?"

"I will!" Syaoran cried out. "I love her!"

"As she does you. It was the love in her heart that allowed me to live inside her," the Card said gently. "But I had to leave her because Light cannot live in the same place as the darkness that has torn her soul apart. The Dark Card itself has been corrupted and it threatens to engulf Sakura completely. This we cannot have."

"What's happened to her?" Syaoran almost screamed.

"She has saved her own life, but at a terrible cost," Light said sadly. "Go find her. And do not forget: love is born from hope." She faded, and Syaoran was stunned when she entered his chest. He felt dizzy for a while, then when he righted himself against the wall, he could feel the reassuring presence of the Card inside him.

_The Card… It used to live in Sakura, _Syaoran thought quickly as he tried the door behind which he could sense Sakura's aura. As he used his magic to break the door, he puzzled out what the Card had said. _Work with Sakura to save her—all of her… I had to leave her because Light cannot live in the same place as darkness. Sakura saving her own life at a terrible cost. __Does it mean she has somehow been taken over by something or someone?_

Fear lanced through him, along with pain. It was his fault; he had pushed her into this, and her disappearance was his responsibility. Syaoran smacked into a barrier blocking access to the last door, and he immediately wielded his sword to tear through it, violently shaking the entire floor with the force of his bows.

Just past the door, as he broke through the first set of barriers, he could hear Sakura moaning. The moans were throaty, and answering moans came from a male voice.

_Xiaolang!_ Syaoran thought angrily. He was raping Sakura! Syaoran rushed to break the next set of barriers, working frantically to break through. He fumbled the magic in his haste; cursing himself he forced himself to focus so he could save Sakura, preparing himself for what he might see, swallowing his anger so that he could kill Xiaolang if necessary.

What he would find would nearly shatter him, though.

_There!_ The barrier broke and with a loud yell, Syaoran smashed through the door. He raised his sword, then backed up in horror as he saw Sakura under Xiaolang. Both were naked, and Xiaolang was clearly inside Sakura, his hips thrusting hard into hers.

And Sakura—though he could not see her full expression as her eyes were closed—was moaning, caressing herself, greedily grabbing at Xiaolang's face to force him to kiss her, then guiding him to her breasts, begging, "More, please, more… I can't get enough of you… Fuck me, please!" as her hips slammed back into Xiaolang's.

They're rutting like animals. Syaoran stared, unable to move as a white-hot rage spread through him. His grip tightened to the point of pain on his sword, and he bit his lip so hard, he drew blood. But he could not find his voice; he watched, aghast, as Xiaolang **fucked** Sakura; while it didn't look like rape, there was no other word for the… fucking they were engaging in. Xiaolang was fondling one breast and licking the other as he thrust into Sakura, who had her hands on his buttocks and was urging him to thrust harder into her, her normally sweet voice gravelly and rough with lust.

_No… It can't be… What does the Shot do again?_

But he could not answer his own question; his mind had gone blank in his fury. Syaoran was unable to tear his eyes away from what he was seeing and hearing. Sakura was screaming obscenities in a strange voice, bidding Xiaolang to do unspeakable things to her. Syaoran had never seen such an expression of violent, greedy ecstasy on Sakura's face; when he had made love to her, she had a sweet, beautiful expression of loving joy.

But this… This was animal-like, and almost frightening; Sakura was biting her lip, gasping as Xiaolang groaned thrust harder into her. Xiaolang was kissing Sakura fiercely, telling her he loved her in gasps of "Ying Fa, my love, my Ying Fa!" Sakura answered in grunts and incoherent noises, never once calling Xiaolang's name.

Both reached a climax simultaneously; Sakura raked her nails over Xiaolang's back, raising welts that bled, and screamed her love for him as she reached an orgasm; Xiaolang pulled out and spilled his seed over her stomach, then collapsed, panting, on top of her. She began to kiss him, and he smiled.

"Once more, my love?" he asked as he stroked her hair. "How greedy you are."

"Yes, oh yes!" Sakura, though sweaty and clearly exhausted, dropped her head to Xiaolang's manhood, and began to lick and suck at him. "Even if I die loving you!"

There it was. The voice… It was not Sakura's voice at all. It was hard and rough and a stranger's voice.

_This is some witchery!_ Syaoran thought. She would never do this with him!

The Shot! Syaoran finally remembered Kaho and Yue's warnings. A spell to be used on virgins, to create false love, to make the victim a sexual addict of the caster.

A spell that would eventually kill her.

"Get off her!" Syaoran screamed when he finally found his voice. He began a fire attack aimed at Xiaolang. "Kashin shourai!"

He was stopped when Sakura, without missing a beat, cast a shield. Without looking at him, she said in a cold, hard voice, "Welcome, Li Syaoran-sama. We've been expecting you."

_**We?**_ Syaoran touched the shield; not even with his magic could he penetrate it. _Who is we?_

Sakura calmly kept the shield up, her naked back to Syaoran as she watched Xiaolang, who was likewise smirking, standing up from the bed. Syaoran nearly retched; he could see the evidence of Xiaolang's violent lovemaking all over her body in the form of love bites, bruises of passion, and Xiaolang's sperm between her thighs, where it mixed with the blood of her lost innocence.

Voices began whispering in Syaoran's ears, filling his head with taunts, echoing his cruel words to Sakura just the other night. And one undeniable thought: _You pushed her into this. This is your fault!_

"Come now, cousin," Xiaolang taunted. "Does the sight of my lovely wife-to-be, covered with my seed, bother you? Then when she is pregnant, perhaps you will turn your eyes away even more. I after all filled her with my sperm tonight." He openly touched her thighs, sliding his finger between her labia as she moaned in ecstasy. "See how she responds to me? You're too late. She's mine now." He held up his fingers, sticky with his seed and her blood. "I was her first."

"You would never have had a chance with her if not for your machinations," Syaoran snarled.

"Oh darling Xiaolang," Sakura purred as she walked, naked, to the edge of the shield, "I think Syaoran is jealous." She looked straight into Syaoran's eyes and smiled.

Syaoran gaped. Sakura's eyes… They were soulless eyes, black instead of the usual green.

**No.**

**No!**

The Sakura he knew and loved was not there.

"You're not Sakura," Syaoran said, recoiling. "Who… are you?"

"You ask me who I am?" Rage filled the dark eyes, and she moved to the edge of the shield, glaring at Syaoran. "How dare you, when I came into being because of you!"

"You… can't be Sakura…" Syaoran's voice was uncertain, and he stared at her. "Are you?"

Somewhere behind Sakura, Xiaolang laughed cruelly.

"But I am. I have all her memories," she said tauntingly. "Would you like me to tell you exactly what you said to me when you got rid of me earlier?" Word for word, her tone down pat, she told him his lies, and Syaoran flinched with each word denying his love for Sakura.

He backed up. He needed to talk to someone who could tell him what to do in the face of this new Sakura, whose presence was similar to that of the Sakura he loved, but who was dark and different.

"Aren't you proud of your handiwork?" Sakura taunted. "Look at me! I belong to Xiaolang now, body, heart, and soul. After all, you told me to go to him. Since I wasn't good enough for you, why, it was but natural for me to look for the one who wanted me. Needed me."

Xiaolang kissed her, not bothering to hide his tongue sliding into her mouth nor how he lewdly ground his hips into her body. "Do rest, my darling Ying Fa. I've words for this idiot."

"Return to me," Sakura pleaded.

"Sakura?" Syaoran said softly, as the beginnings of a realization stirred in him."

"Don't. Call. Me. That!" she hissed. "My name… is Ying Fa." But her anger took something out of her; she wavered, and when she began to slide to the floor, Xiaolang caught her.

"I will always come back to you, Ying Fa. But do lie down; you haven't rested and I've taken you five… no, six times already," Xiaolang aimed a sneer at Syaoran as he said this, and Syaoran flinched, clenching his fists in anger. How dare he gloat about that?

"Sleep for now, my love." Xiaolang passed his hand over Sakura's eyes, and she fell limply into his arms. With a strange tenderness, he carried her to the bed and laid her down, smoothing her hair back on the pillow. Then without bothering to dress, he walked to the edge of the shield, his nose mere millimeters away from Syaoran's. He smirked, and Syaoran noticed that his eyes were black instead of their usual mismatched blue and brown.

"Xiaolang?" Syaoran whispered.

Xiaolang laughed. "Unlike my darling Ying Fa I need not give myself another name. I am, after all, the true Xiaolang."

"What in hell is going on?" Syaoran demanded.

Then he felt it. Tainted auras.

He had ignored it in his fury over seeing Sakura and Xiaolang fucking, but now the corruption, the dark magic in their auras reached out to him, and Syaoran recoiled.

"What have you done?" Syaoran fought the urge to cast a shield of his own. "Your aura…"

"Power, dear cousin," Xiaolang smiled, a feral, cruel smile. "What you cowardly Lis fear. **True** power. My weak self was terrified of it… he even fought your lovely cousin Meilin when he realized what Meilin was giving him. But that other self," and Xiaolang tapped his forehead mockingly, "I have in here. I'll get rid of him soon."

Syaoran's jaws worked up and down then he rasped, "Abomination. You are a travesty of magic!"

"Me? Are you forgetting that if it had not been for you, none of this would be happening?" Xiaolang rounded on Syaoran, prevented from standing nose to nose with him by Sakura's shield. "You and your stupid friends bullied her on her arrival at Shiroihana. You intended to use her… ah, yes, I can see it on your face, don't deny it! You wanted power as well but you fell in love. You hurt Meilin and her pain was the gate through which my father entered to control her. She gave my weak self The Shot, and now," he spread his arms mockingly, not caring that he was completely naked in front of Syaoran, "now I am here. I ought to thank you, then, for all this was set into motion… by you."

Syaoran lost an entire lifetime's worth of training as there was a grain of truth in what Xiaolang had said, and he lashed out with his sword at an unarmed Xiaolang. His blade clanged against the barrier though, and he lost his grip on the sword, which flew across the room and struck the wall.

"Such is the power of this beautiful woman," Xiaolang said as he touched the shield in front of Syoran. "See how it stays in place even though she is asleep?"

"The magic will continue to drain her," Syaoran snarled. "How can you say you're letting her rest when this shield protects you using her power? You utter, absolute coward!"

"You know what they say about sticks and stones and words never hurting me," Xiaolang shrugged. Syaoran was itching to destroy the shield; he knew how Sakura cast it, and could destroy it with a spell, but doing so meant he would be forcing the sleeping Sakura to draw on powers which he could see were already exhausted. He couldn't bear to do it to her, and so he glared at Xiaolang.

Syaoran had never felt such hate in his life. "There was no way she came with you willingly," he said quietly. "I know you entered Shiroihana posing as Eriol. Where is Eriol and what have you done to him?"

"He is safe," Xiaolang shrugged.

"You tricked Sakura into going with you when you assumed Eriol's form, didn't you?" Syaoran said. "You took advantage of her. Shameless bastard!"

"And you're any better?" Xiaolang raised both his brows. "You destroyed her last night when you rejected her. I must commend you on your acting; when I suggested it to you, you played along like a little puppet on a string."

If glares could kill, Xiaolang thought in amusement, Syaoran's red-hot glare would have incinerated him by now.

"You were such a fool, cousin," he continued in a low, mocking voice aimed at riling Syaoran. "How easy was it for me to control you, to make you walk away from this girl?"

"I love Sakura!" Syaoran yelled, and he smashed his fists on the shield. "You bastard! What have you done to her?"

Without flinching at Syaoran's rare display of temper, Xiaolang grinned, a malevolent, gloating smile. "Loved her. Bound her to me. That you easily agreed to my, ah, suggestions…"

"You manipulated me! You used my trust in Eriol!"

Xiaolang laughed at the agony in Syaoran's voice. "But dear cousin, you never thought to ask yourself why Eriol's aura was wrong, did you? You let yourself be fooled. Why, you never even once fought for Sakura. You said nothing about, 'oh Eriol, what if I stayed by her side? What if I defied the fates and showed them I will never leave her?' You did not. And so it means you do not love her enough."

"That doesn't change that you manipulated me. I thought I was doing what was best for her," Syaoran's voice was barely audible.

"No, you were doing what was best for you," Xiaolang sneered.

Syaoran seemed to collapse into himself; his shoulders were lowered and he cast his eyes to the ground. Then after a while, he raised his head and said, "That's not true. All I thought of was her."

Xiaolang's laugh was harsh and cruel. "You keep telling yourself that, cousin dearest. I thought of Sakura when I subdued the weak part of me. I thought of her power and how she limits herself due to her shyness. I thought of Sakura, Card Mistress, as the Empress of Japan. But you… all you thought of was making her your wife." He threw his head back and laughed again. "Your wife! How pathetic! What a tiny world you were going to box her into! You say you love her? You're wrong, Syaoran, and let me tell you why. I would join her power to mine and hand her Japan, then the rest of the world."

"You're mad," Syaoran said.

"On the contrary. I too love Sakura, and more than you, I daresay."

"If you loved her you never would have tricked her! You would have wooed her!"

Xiaolang chuckled. "Poor, poor, provincial-minded Syaoran. Allow me to enlighten you. I, too, think of what is best for her. Power attracts power, you see, and her power can change the world as we know it. As your wife, what could she have done? Even as lord of Hong Kong, you are nothing, a mere dot in the pages of history. With me, she will **be** history. She will change the course of Western fortunes. Do you not see how they are poised to take over the world with their guns and their armies? My power married to hers means we can decimate them in a heartbeat. I would give her the world, and make her name immortal, ranked with those of the gods. Can you even give anything like that to her?"

"I was searching for her family. Did it ever occur to you to ask her if she wanted this?"

"Her family?" Xiaolang snorted. "I have them, at Shiroihana."

"Then why did you not unite them?" Syaoran pounded on the shield. "She wanted that more than anything else in the world!"

"Why, did you ask her if she wanted you to protect her when you abandoned her?" Xiaolang sneered. "No, you merely thought you would do what was best for her. I, however, acted and secured everything she needs for her life with me. Her father and brother are safe in our stronghold. Unlike you, I actually did something and acted in her best interests!"

"You're wrong!" Syaoran yelled back.

What Xiaolang was to say was interrupted when Sakura stirred. He and Syaoran had been arguing for hours, and she had rested.

"Hold that thought, dear cousin. My love must be attended to first." He turned his back on Syaoran and went to the bed.

A groggy Sakura opened her eyes and sat up. "Where am I?"

Syaoran gasped. Her eyes were green instead of black.

"Syaoran? Is that you?" she asked as she squinted in the darkness at Xiaolang.

_Damn it_, Xiaolang thought, _she takes over when freshly awakened._ He turned his back so Syaoran would not see what he was doing, and cast the glamour on his eyes and hair again so that he would look like Syaoran.

"There, there. Are you all right?"

"Oh." Sakura looked up at who she believed was Syaoran. "I had the most awful dream and my body hurts." She winced and hugged herself. "Why am I naked?"

Xiaolang took her into his arms. "It's all right. Let the other wake within you, my darling Ying Fa."

Despite the muzziness she felt, Sakura asked, "Syaoran? Why are you calling me that?"

Syaoran blinked. _Did she just call Xiaolang by my name?_

"Are you scared, my sweet Ying Fa?" Xiaolang called the other Sakura's name to wake her.

"Why are you calling me that? Syaoran, you're scaring me… And why do I have a shield up?" Sakura asked. She dropped the magic, and Syaoran felt it. "That was tiring."

_That was definitely my name!_ Syaoran screamed, "That's **not** me, Sakura! I'm here! _**That's**_ Xiaolang!"

**End of Chapter **

**(Preview of Chapter 14 below)  
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**Author's Notes**

It took me a long time to update because while I know the plotline and the ending, writing it out was emotionally difficult, as there is much drama and angst. The good news though is that I have a full chapter in reserve (and being edited), with half of 15 also being rewritten, so I can update within a week or so, hooray! (So please review? Please?)

I want to emphasize that what I set out to do was to explore the kind of world Sakura would live in if she did not have all the advantages she did in the original series. I remember another great author, Lord Archive, saying that power attracts power. Sakura is bound to attract attention, including the unwanted kind. In the CCS story she is sheltered and protected in a little bubble where the world is kind and gentle. I tried to explore a more realistic and cruel world here, but with the idea that love can still conquer all (okay, romantic dork, sorry!)

Plus, I had to bring in elements of canon; I particularly enjoyed coming up with the idea of the yin yang symbol the Lis use as being a reminder for them of some tragedy in the past.

I'm terrified that the detailing might turn some readers off, as will the attention to canon, but I couldn't forgive myself if I just slopped my way through the story. Feedback in a review would be very very appreciated.

This chapter centers on Syaoran because he's the one who has grown and changed the most in the story. It's obviously painful for him to have his mistakes thrown in his face, and dark Xiaolang gleefully takes advantage of this.

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**Next chapter, Syaoran confronts Sakura and Ying Fa. Here's a little preview: **

_Syaoran pulled himself to his feet. "Sakura…"_

_Her eyes flashed from black to green and back as she lashed out and slapped him. "Don't call me that!" _

_The blow was surprisingly strong and Syaoran could feel where his lip had split open. He used his thumb to wipe off the blood and continued talking. "Ying Fa, then. If you know that Xiaolang fooled me in Eriol's guise, then why are you angry?" he asked gently, without accusation. He knew what he had to do now. "He fooled me and he fooled you. Why punish only me?"_

"_Because I __**hate**__ you," she hissed. "You were supposed to be the one who loved me. You even asked us if we would marry you and then you went and listened to the false Eriol and you walked away… walked away… as we cried. If you had just turned… if you had just come back and told me all these things then, maybe this wouldn't have happened! I had to force my way out of her head because she was willing to die rather than be forced to love Xiaolang! This is ALL YOUR FAULT!" Her sentence ended in a shrill shriek, and her eyes went completely black again. _

"_I'll kill weak little Sakura at my leisure and then I will be her. Maybe I'll let you say goodbye," the dark Sakura sneered. "But no… You are responsible for this, so you can go to hell first." She summoned the Staff and pointed it at Syaoran. "Firey! Burn this bastard to death!"_


	14. Dark Revelations

**Addiction 14: Dark Revelations**

Ooh, revising this took some time, but the good news: here's the chapter where we return to redeveloping the SxS relationship!

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**Previously:** _A groggy Sakura opened her eyes and sat up. "Where am I?"_

_Syaoran gasped. Her eyes were green instead of black._

_"Syaoran? Is that you?" she asked as she squinted in the darkness at Xiaolang._

Damn it,_ the dark Xiaolang thought, _she takes over when freshly awakened._ He turned his back so Syaoran would not see what he was doing, and cast the glamour on his eyes and hair again so that he would look like Syaoran._

_"There, there. Are you all right?"_

_"Oh." Sakura looked up at who she believed was Syaoran. "I had the most awful dream and my body hurts." She winced and hugged herself. "Why am I naked?"_

_Xiaolang took her into his arms. "It's all right. Let the other wake within you, my darling Ying Fa."_

_Despite the muzziness she felt, Sakura asked, "Syaoran? Why are you calling me that?"_

_Syaoran blinked. _Did she just call Xiaolang by my name?

_"Are you scared, my sweet Ying Fa?" Xiaolang called the other Sakura's name to wake her._

_"Why are you calling me that? Syaoran, you're scaring me… And why do I have a shield up?" Sakura asked. She dropped the magic, and Syaoran felt it. "That was tiring."_

That was definitely my name!_ Syaoran screamed, "That's __**not**__ me, Sakura! I'm here! __**That's**__ Xiaolang!"_

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**Chapter 14: Dark Revelations**

_Demon spawn! _Xiaolang cursed; he didn't need to turn to know that Syaoran was coming. He cast his own shield to stop Syaoran and shook Sakura. "Wake up, Ying Fa! You _must_ wake up!"

To his relief, Sakura's hurt green eyes soon melted into blackness, the pupils expanding to fill the entire eye.

"I am here, my love," she said in the low, rough tones of Ying Fa, and Xiaolang rejoiced.

"Come away with me," Xiaolang said quickly as Syaoran attacked his shield. He stood up and pulled on his robe. "Get dressed, my Ying Fa."

"Is that piece of donkey dung still here?" Ying Fa asked. "Ah, I see him." She recast her shield.

Syaoran broke through Xiaolang's shield only to run afoul of Sakura's shield. What had happened? He hesitated, staring at the couple on the bed.

"I wish I could go to Kuroyama with you but… curse it, Xiaolang, I have to return to Shiroihana, no thanks to this stupid binding spell of Clow. And me with several more cards to capture and seal. Will you visit me regularly, darling?" the dark Sakura said as she walked towards Xiaolang. "Will you fuck me, fill me with your seed?" She licked his lips and stroked his organ, smirking at Syaoran.

"Of course, my beloved Ying Fa." Xiaolang kissed her, tongue plainly visible to Syaoran, and he left through the window, but not before casting Syaoran a gloating, triumphant look. "I promise to always visit you near Shiroihana."

"Keep that promise, lover."

Sakura—no, Ying Fa—pulled her robe on and dropped her shield as she asked, "And how long were you watching? Learn anything?"

"Who… are you?" Syaoran whispered. It was Sakura's presence, Sakura's body, but the voice and the eyes were not her; the eyes were dark and soulless, the low voice had none of Sakura's sweet lilt.

"I am… I _was_ your Sakura, the better part of her," the one inside Sakura's body laughed. "Can't take my true spirit? My true name is Ying Fa. Surely you heard my love screaming it in ecstasy a while ago… as we **fucked**."

"You are not Sakura. Did you kill her? Let her go!" Syaoran placed his sword at her throat.

Ying Fa laughed. "Go ahead," she invited. "Slice me."

Syaoran saw Sakura's eyes go blank, then…

"Syaoran! Kami-sama, please Syaoran, help me!" The shattered presence of the Sakura he loved was suddenly there, and Syaoran dropped his sword. Her eyes were green again. "There's someone else in here! … Please believe me, there's someone else in my body, in my head…"

"Sakura?" He made his way towards her; Sakura flinched in fear, but he placed his arms around her then pleaded, "Forgive me! All I said, all I did… I was tricked into it, believe me… I thought I was doing what was right for you, Sakura, I love you, I would never have done it if I knew…"

"I know," she whispered as she let herself be embraced.

Syaoran stared at her. She had a sad smile on. "How…"

"I saw through the other Xiaolang's eyes. He's trapped inside Xiaolang as well. And Xiaolang… he used your form to seduce me." More tears came to her eyes. "I thought you… had come back to me."

Could he hate Xiaolang any more than he already did? Syaoran tensed momentarily, tempted to leave Sakura and chase down Xiaolang. The way Syaoran was feeling, Xiaolang would not stand a chance… _and he used Sakura's shield because he knew it,_ Syaoran realized. _Curse him to the seven levels of hell! He knew I wouldn't leave her alone if I found out what happened to her!_

Swallowing his pain, Syaoran knelt in front of Sakura and grasped her hands. "This is my fault, Sakura, and I beg you to forgive me. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you that I love you. Gods, forgive me for not telling you the truth, but I love you more than my own life, Sakura, and I will do anything for you to forgive me. I only said all those things because I thought it would help you. Gods, please believe me!"

"Then _**help**_ me!" Sakura pleaded. Syaoran had never seen such terror and desperation in her eyes; he was used to her bravery and resourcefulness. "I don't know what's happened to me! I don't know how I can get out of here! I don't know who she is but she's part of me and I'm so scared, oh Syaoran… she's in my head and she's… I think she's me…" She began to sob brokenly.

He'd never seen her so afraid, so helpless before, and Syaoran swore mentally; this was what he had done to her! "I'll do anything to save you. Hold on, I'll find a way, I swear, I… Don't cry. Please, Sakura, don't cry…"

"Oh Gods. Oh Gods," Sakura wept. "I can't stop crying… Syaoran, I… You must be careful, you cannot get killed, Syaoran, I love you, I don't know how to get out I…"

Syaoran gripped her shoulders tightly. "Despite all I did? You… love me?"

"I always have," she said quietly.

Syaoran picked her up. "Don't cry. We'll find a way." He kissed her forehead. "I love you so much, Sakura, and I swear I will free you no matter what it takes."

"Syaoran, I…"

"Don't tire yourself. We're going home, and we'll find a way to help you, I promise…"

Her gaze slid out of focus and then the black eyes returned. Syaoran let her go when the eyes turned seductive and she pressed herself against him; he backed away.

High-pitched, cruel laughter pierced the air. "Sakura is my hostage, can't you see, Syaoran _**darling**_?" Ying Fa said. "Would you like to taste her? Finish what you started back then?" She opened her robes and placed Syaoran's hand on her breast.

He pulled his hand back, revolted. "You…" he said. "Sakura says you're part of her…"

"That's right. Kill me, and you kill her. But you will watch as I consume your Sakura utterly," she sneered. "I am her, the dark half of Sakura, her darkest desires, her deepest resentments, her anger, her hate. And I will not be denied anymore. I will make sure your sweet Sakura disappears."

Syaoran was silent, watching her in dismay and seeing the truth in her words. He remembered an old sensei telling his class of the limits of the human psyche, and how a soul could be cleaved into two under terrible stress.

Sakura was now two people, and he understood what the Light card had meant: she was now Sakura, the sweet, beautiful girl he loved, and the angry Ying Fa, who hated him for what he'd done.

"Don't worry. I'll let your Sakura out every now and then so that I can punish you!" she screamed. Hate and fury poisoned her voice. "Watch her weaken and die in me!"

"Please… Don't. Listen to me. Listen to her," Syaoran pleaded, but he was met with a blow that sent him reeling because he was unprepared; he hadn't expected her to lash out at him physically.

"I hate you! You did this to us! You made us what we are! First I'll get rid of her. She is my weak side, after all. Her gentleness, her passivity, her insistence on understanding people… it makes me sick."

"Those are not weaknesses!" Syaoran roared. "She changes people with her kindness! She…"

He dodged backward as Ying Fa chopped at him with the Staff. Her aim, unlike Sakura's, was good; he felt the Staff whisper barely half an inch from his head.

"Die! All this was because of you!" She swung again, and Syaoran dodged again. The stream of curses and profanity erupting from her almost paralyzed him, but he stayed out of range as she lashed out again and again.

But she tired soon, and slid to the floor, angrily wiping her tears away, still muttering curses and promising death and destruction to Syaoran.

"Why is there so much hate in you?" Syaoran asked, coming closer to touch her. She shook him off.

"I'm tired of swallowing insults because Sakura can't find it in her to get angry! I'm tired of putting up with sneering fools and bullies. Do you know, when we were starving on the way to Shiroihana, she was mauled by a group of thieving women? And she didn't fight back! She would have died had it not been for Clow Reed, that manipulating conniving bastard so like his son!" Ying Fa screamed. "Righteousness and justice have a place in this world, and if she won't fight, then I will!"

"But…" Syaoran blinked. "Sakura… you…"

"Don't call me that! That's the weak one's name! I hate her, and I hate her name and everything about her!"

"Sakura believed that there was always another way," Syaoran reasoned. "She… No, you both… If you carry only hate in your heart it eats away at you. You taught me that. You taught me to try and trust others… Your way changed me," he said.

He was caught off guard when Ying Fa kicked out viciously at him, and he went sprawling as a result.

"I _changed_ you?" she sneered. "As if I could! Nothing stopped you from believing the false Eriol and hurting me… hurting us… with your pretended concern and love. You are a _**liar**_," she hissed as she stood over Syaoran and kicked his ribs; Syaoran managed to roll with the blow but it still hurt. "Liars are scum. Like you. You brought me into your bed only to reject me the very next day! All you want from us is the power we represent, right? Admit it!"

Angry tears were pouring down her face as she slid to the floor; her black eyes were occasionally fading into green and Syaoran realized that Ying Fa was beginning to incorporate with Sakura herself. She lapsed from referring to herself as "I" to "We" and she was confused as to the boundaries between herself and… No, she had told the truth. She was Sakura, after all, an angry, violent, frustrated, hateful Sakura.

"You find me disgusting, don't you?" she said, her eyes flashing from green to black as she watched Syaoran. "You see me as being weak! You're watching me with pitying eyes. But I won't always be this weak, you'll see!"

Syaoran sat up. "I don't find you disgusting, Sakura." He moved closer and touched her hand. "I love you, and I will not leave you again."

"Don't touch me," she hissed. "Don't call me Sakura!"

Undeterred, Syaoran reached out and pulled her into his arms. "I love you," he repeated as he kissed her hair. "I know I can't take back what I did but I will not rest until you accept me and let me make up for everything I did."

"Syaoran…" Hands touched his cheeks, and he opened his eyes to see Sakura's green eyes looking into his. "Please don't leave me…"

"Never again," he promised. "Sakura, I…"

Again he was sent sprawling as she lashed out. "Get your hands off me! I'll kill you! Don't you dare try your honeyed lies on me!" she screamed.

Syaoran backed off warily, but said, "No. I won't leave you, Sakura, Ying Fa—it doesn't matter who you are. We'll get through this together."

"Go fuck a donkey!" she yelled. Clutching the Staff, she added, in a hoarse whisper, "Stop saying you love me. You love Sakura, not me! You could never love us both!"

Her anger, her hatred of him… such violent emotions could only be stirred by someone who meant something to her, somehow.

_That's what the Light card meant! _He realized quickly. _This is Sakura, the side of her that she has held back, and which has festered as a result. And I must save all of her._

Syaoran pulled himself to his feet. "Sakura…"

Her eyes flashed from black to green and back as she lashed out and slapped him. "Don't call me that!"

The blow was surprisingly strong and Syaoran could feel where his lip had split open. He used his thumb to wipe off the blood and continued talking. "Ying Fa, then. If you know that Xiaolang fooled me in Eriol's guise, then why are you angry?" he asked gently, without accusation. He knew what he had to do now. "He fooled me and he fooled you. Why punish only me?"

"Because I _**hate**_ you," she hissed. "You were supposed to be the one who loved me. You even asked me if we would marry you and then you went and listened to the false Eriol and you walked away… walked _**away**_… as we cried. If you had just turned… if you had just come back and told me all these things then, maybe this wouldn't have happened!" Her sentence ended in a shrill shriek, and her eyes went completely black again.

"I'll kill weak little Sakura at my leisure and then I will be her. Maybe I'll let you say goodbye," the Ying Fa, her eyes completely black, sneered. "But no… You are responsible for this, so you can go to hell first." She summoned the Staff and pointed it at Syaoran. "Firey!"

Firey sputtered into life, but then it collapsed and turned back into a pale card.

Ying Fa stared at it. "No… What happened?"

Suddenly Syaoran understood what he'd felt earlier. "Someone drained your Cards… and that someone was your Xiaolang. Is that how he shows he loves you? By draining your Cards? Do you realize what this means?"

She screamed, "You lie!"

"Ask him how he subdued the Cards earlier then!" Syaoran screamed back. He wanted her to see the truth of what Xiaolang had done, to see his part in her own downfall.

She was about to say something when she realized that Syaoran was right.

"You'll have to feed the Cards your own energy or they will fade away completely," Syaoran continued. "You won't be able to use any of them until they are solid again. But you can't…"

"Fine! I'll do it!" she screamed. "And when it's done I will make you suffer!" She pointed her staff at Firey and said, "Take of my energy so that I can destroy this bastard!"

"Don't!" Syaoran yelled, but it was too late; as her body was already drained from fighting The Shot and Xiaolang earlier and from the Cards attacking Xiaolang, the energy siphoned off from her to restore Firey was too much. Ying Fa collapsed.

Syaoran picked her up, smoothing her hair off her face and tying her robes shut. Asleep, she was the Sakura who had once laid in his arms like a trusting kitten, the one he loved.

_No. Ying Fa and Sakura are one. I played a role in this… and so I will do what it takes to save them both … whatever it takes… because it's the only way to bring Sakura back. _

Syaoran trudged out the room, past the terrified innkeeper and the other guests—pausing only to drop some gold as payment for the damages—and into the snow. He spread a quilt which he'd taken from the room and prepared for the long, sad ride back to Shiroihana with the girl he loved in his arms.

* * *

At the academy, he ran into Meilin and Yue as he entered the front gate and headed for a small room off the entryway, where he laid Sakura on a cot so that Yue could have a look at her.

When he touched her though, Yue recoiled from Sakura.

"She's been taken," he gasped. "She has the Shot in her body. And… what's that taint on her?"

"What taint?" Syaoran had not noticed anything.

Suddenly Yue reared back and screamed, a loud sound of mourning. Syaoran and Meilin both backed away.

"Abomination! He who cast that spell," and Yue glared in the direction of Kuroyama, "used the life force of the Sun guardian to sustain it!"

"Cerberus?" Syaoran felt his skin run cold.

"He killed… my brother," Yue snarled. He flew up, only to be stopped by the barrier that held him to Shiroihana. "I will make you pay for killing Cerberus, you bastard!" He screamed over and over, pounding his fists uselessly on the barrier as he slid back to the ground.

Meilin walked up to him and bravely put a hand on his shoulder; Yue looked up at her with wild eyes.

"You can't accomplish anything by crying," she said sadly. "Help us. Tell us what you know."

"You realize that this is the girl you hate," Yue said. "Why do you want to help now?"

"No," Meilin said sadly. "I am free now. It…" She took a deep breath, then, "Something has released me, and I know now what I've been doing all this time." She turned to Syaoran. "I was used to manipulate you. I won't ask your forgiveness, because there is none for me. But maybe I can help you."

Syaoran suddenly felt very weary. "It doesn't matter, Meilin. I think I know what happened anyway."

She suddenly grasped his sword, unsheathing it and putting it in his hand. "You have the right to kill me. I started this, after all." Meilin bowed her head.

A soft _clink!_ told her the sword had been placed back in this shield. "Enough of that," Syaoran said tiredly. "No more. I want to end the circle of hate and violence. I can't make you pay for what you did not do of your own free will. Instead, help me. We need to learn more about The Shot, about how to get Eriol back from Kuroyama, and…" his voice trailed off, "where to start."

A look passed between the cousins, and Meilin slowly nodded. "I shall." She turned to Yue. "Please tell us what you know of The Shot. All I know is, the thing pollutes your mind, makes you think irrationally, magnifies obsession. I know what I did, and I know little else."

Yue looked at her shrewdly. "Do you remember what you did with it?"

Not looking at Syaoran, Meilin nodded. "I forced Xiaolang to take it so he could claim Sakura for himself. I'm not excusing myself but it felt like I was not in control, like my love… no, my obsession for Syaoran made me do it. I stole Syaoran's sealing ofuda and trapped Xiaolang as I transferred ownership of The Shot to him."

"You forced him to take it," Syaoran said quietly.

"Yes." Meilin was no longer in the mood to lie or make excuses for herself. "I used the gifting ritual to force him to take it, and as soon as the scroll left my possession, I felt the change in me, and the change in him."

"The change should have been complete, immediately," Yue mused. "Your great-uncle, Syaoran, once he had the scroll, he became someone else entirely, the darkest part of who he was because he wanted to ensnare Xia Ming of the Ching clan, who was engaged to Kato Kunimitsu."

"So what took Xiaolang so long to move?" Meilin wondered.

Syaoran frowned. "Xiaolang is known for his discipline. Perhaps he fought off the effects of the scroll?"

"That it took him months to succumb and to act on his baser instincts proves he did fight," Yue pointed out. "There is no precedent for a weak-willed user not giving in to his dark side."

"The users have all been male, then," Meilin mused. "But it left my hands first…"

"And you are a virgin," Yue pointed out. "Then Xiaolang fought against its influence… the chain has been tainted, and the circumstances are entirely different."

"Is there, then, a way to save Sakura?" Syaoran's eyes were almost wild in his grief. "If things have been changed, then…"

"I don't know. No woman has ever survived it, save for one," Yue said.

"How was it done?" Meilin asked.

"The man who used The Shot on her died in battle."

"So I must kill Xiaolang to free Sakura?" Syaoran's jaw was grimly set.

"She survived the man who used the scroll on her, that woman in the Tang dynasty," Yue said, "by only a week. Without him, she killed herself."

"No!" Syaoran smacked the wall with his fist. "I will not accept this! I will find a way to save her. Surely there is one!"

"I will not give you false hope," Yue pointed out gently. "But we need to retrieve Eriol, the original scroll, and find out how the spell was cast. For that we need Xiaolang alive."

Syaoran gritted his teeth. "Fine. So what do you know?"

Yue took a deep breath, then said, "The Shot requires the sacrifice of an innocent being with great power. The potion contains a drop of that being's life essence. It's been fed to Sakura, and so I can detect the taint on her. That being… was my brother Cerberus. The Sun Guardian."

Syaoran and Meilin stood together, horrified. Syaoran realized that this knowledge could anguish the trapped Sakura even more, and he said nothing.

"Let's bring her to her room," Meilin said quietly. "Come on, Syaoran."

As they walked to the elite students' quarters, Syaoran carrying Sakura, a royal carriage which had been blocked by the inclement weather finally pulled up in front of Shiroihana. The Princess Tomoyo alighted from it, wrapped in furs to keep warm.

"This weather… is not a good sign," she breathed softly as she strode into the halls of her school.

She was surprised when no one came to meet her, and immediately realized it was a bad sign.

"Please, bring my bags in," she asked her servants, who bowed. "I shall go ahead, inside."

_The storm isn't the only thing that's out of control, _she thought as she broke into a run. She was almost afraid of what she would find, but her instincts guided her to the elite students' quarters.

When she saw the doors of their quarters hanging open, she knew the worst had come to pass: their sanctuary had been somehow violated. The only light came from Sakura's quarters, and she rushed in.

Syaoran, Meilin, and Yue looked up; they were bathing Sakura's bruises and wounds, with Yue healing what he could.

"No… What happened?" Tomoyo breathed.

Syaoran stood up. "I take full responsibility," he said, and told Tomoyo the story. He spared no detail, not even his own stupidity, and when he finished telling the story, Tomoyo was shaking.

He bowed his head. "Will you hit me now?"

"And why?" Tomoyo grabbed for the ink, paper, and pen on Sakura's table. "We have work to do. Do not dishonor Sakura by falling apart now, Li," she said harshly. "You helped create this mess and you will hold together until you've made up for it."

It felt as if he'd been slapped, and Syaoran acknowledged that she was right. "I shall write to my mother. She's a sorceress and she may be able to help us. If I use magic I may be able to speed the letter to her."

"You forget someone is closer," Tomoyo smiled grimly. "You say Hiiragizawa was taken to Kuroyama, right? And so we will write asking for his return. The laws of hospitality cannot be violated, or supernatural retribution falls on Lord Fei Wang Reed's head. He will have to return Eriol."

Grateful for her level-headed intellect, Syaoran bowed to Tomoyo. "Thank you."

"No. Say it when this is over. Now go over what Yue-san told you again, so that we can figure something out." Tomoyo stood up, the letter clutched in her hands.

"I'll get it sent," Meilin took the letter and ran for the dispatch center.

Syaoran sat by Sakura's side again, holding her hand. Tomoyo said nothing, but continued swabbing herbal medicine on Sakura's many bruises; she frowned as she found the ones on her neck.

"He didn't have to take her so violently," Tomoyo said softly.

"He was subduing her," Syaoran said, his eyes dead. "She fought so hard against him, her soul's been split into two halves."

"Was magic involved then?" Tomoyo leaned forward, her mind racing again.

"Yes."

"Unhh," Sakura suddenly stirred.

Tomoyo sat beside her and placed a hand on her forehead.

"You say when she wakes up, she is herself, right?"

Syaoran nodded. "Do you think your presence, your ability to damp magic, might help?"

"We can try." Tomoyo then started. "Don't you think it's convenient that all this happened while I was not around?"

Quickly understanding her line of thinking, Syaoran shook his head thoughtfully. "I don't know whether to call it coincidence or what, but yes, if you'd been here, you would have detected the false Eriol and stopped him.

"Tomoyo-chan?"

"Sakura-chan?"

Sakura struggled to sit up, but Syaoran gently held her back. "No. You must rest."

She blinked. "My mind…" She shook her head slowly. "It's… quiet…"

Syaoran looked at Tomoyo, and nodded.

"We have to talk, Sakura-chan," Tomoyo said.

0-0-0

Eriol tossed in his sleep. He knew he was asleep, and that he should be waking soon, but his eyelids were utterly heavy. He could not throw off the strange sleep… and he was tired… so tired…

"Wake up!" Someone was shaking him urgently.

"Can't…"

"You must open your eyes!" A man who resembled him, if with light brown hair and brown eyes behind glasses, was suddenly inside his mind. "Your powers are strong, which is why you have been trapped here. You must get out of here!"

A soothing feeling came over Eriol then. Two sets of hands were laid on his head.

"Pour a little more energy into him if you can, please, my son," a soft voice, the same one he'd heard in his head, said. Both sets of hands became warmer.

Then Eriol's head snapped up so violently, it hurt. "Ah!"

The muzzy feeling in his head suddenly became clearer. All the things he'd seen and felt the past few days meant that he had failed.

"Sakura!" He sat up then instantly regretted it. "She… she's in… danger…" he choked out.

A hand wiped the sweat from his brow.

"We know. Now take this water. In a while the magic will seep from your system. But we can't break out by ourselves," the gentle, familiar voice continued. "We need your help."

"Who…" Eriol gasped. His throat was dry, and his first thought was of the woman he loved.

"I… am Fujitaka Kinomoto, and like you, I am an unwilling guest here. But save your strength for now. Later we can talk. Later, we can get out of here."

"Please don't let me be too late," Eriol moaned. "Please."

**End of Chapter **

**(Preview of Chapter 15 below)**

* * *

**Notes:** History shows that when psychological trauma breaks the psyche, it sometimes shatters and reassembles into coherent personalities, so we can assume this happened to Sakura here.

Now you know why Tomoyo was out during the crucial point of the story, and why I established her immunity to (and ability to damp) magic early on. I've always believed that the reason why Tomoyo in the original series can accompany Sakura and not suffer real danger is because, being of the same bloodline as Sakura, she may have latent magical potential herself.

Syaoran has changed so much over the story's arc, which is finally drawing to a close. Now it's Sakura's turn.

I know reviews are hard to come by these days, but I really would appreciate them. Ideas, suggestions, etc. are very much appreciated; in fact I use friendly readers' suggestions. I like the idea of writing communities.

**A preview of the next chapter: **

_"What, don't you want me?" Her voice was half desperate and half angry._

_"I do," Syaoran said. "But not this way. Not because you need someone to stand in for him. Not because you want to teach me a lesson. Because you love me." And he kissed her forehead again._

_To her shock, Ying Fa began to cry, pounding her fists on his chest in frustration. The blankets slid off her as she began to attack Syaoran, who did not fight back. Instead, he held her until she stopped crying._

_"Why are you doing this?" she whispered hoarsely. "You know I'm...sexually addicted to him!"_

_His response was to simply hold her closer and to kiss her forehead tenderly._

_Ying Fa lay in Syaoran's embrace. It was strange; he was fully clothed, she was naked. She could feel his warmth as he held her close. He didn't say a word, but he held her the way Xiaolang never had—tenderly and protectively, with no demands for physical satisfaction. And she could feel peace stealing through her body, calming the raging need to have sex with Xiaolang._

_She could feel that Syaoran truly loved her… all of her._


End file.
